Every feeling hits at once,
Like stepping on a land mine,
I just want to turn it off,
I just want to be fine.

I have a pill for my sadness,
And one for when I can't sleep,
I have a pill strictly for staying chill,
Keeping my emotions flat for when anxiety creeps.

I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy,
And I fear for my future child,
Because I don't know if this is heriditary,
Or if my mind is just running wild.

When the anxiety rises up,
I feel so much that I cant breathe,
And sometimes I'm just numb,
Which Is Equally suffocating.

I have good days,
When I'm feeling okay,
And everything seems alright.
They never seem to last,
Unlike the quiet , bitter nights.

It's a constant war inside my head,
And the battlefield is my heart.
I wish most could better comprehend,
That behind every smile and laugh,
I can just as easily fall apart.

I'm grateful for those who still stand by me,
And I'm humbled by their love.
It's been proven to me time and time again,
That i, myself, am good enough.

Unfortunately this war will continue on,
I don't know for sure if it will ever cease,
What I do know is,
Giving up will get me nowhere,
And I have to keep searching to find my peace.
I don't want to just survive,
I want to live.