Hi All,

Just another negative journal letting you know why I've not updated my gallery in some time. I wanted to explain the reasons why though some you probably already know.

- There is a number of commissions I have gotten that I am not completely comfortable uploading. Its an odd thing I sometimes have where I feel slightly bothered about what I like when I get more extreme pictures. I have to admit that the combinations of things I enjoy is very weird and I can feel put off by how far from normal they are.

Does anyone else get that way?

- Some who watch me will know I have a particular character I like to get commissions of. He is my all time favorite character that I always love seeing. However though the content of the pics I get of him are my typical weird interests, I do have a more deep feeling for him that just a person to use for those interests. From his personality and actions within the anime he is in, I have a big respect for him and like him as a deep thinking, kind and honorable character. Now already this may sound odd to you, but it is this point that I have been keeping certain things private when it involves this character. Whenever a picture of him that I've commissioned goes public either by myself or by the artist I commissioned, I feel a feeling of guilt in what I have done to the character I respect, by having him drawn in ways that is considered weird by most. I certainly know I have angered people by essentially perverting a well liked character.

The final reason which is the one you all know by know is the on-going issue I've been having with some artists with commissions. I can easily say now that the situation has not improved at all. Its always the same thing where I am waiting months and months and even years for things I am doubting more and more I will ever see. I just don't see anything I can do to try and sort this except completely posting everything that I am owed within a journal. Of course chances are, the only thing that it would achieve is getting some people angry and crushing any chance of me receiving the stuff I have paid for.

A dark part of me at this stage would want some retribution to anyone who have effectively just stolen my money, by naming and shaming them so that people know who seems to just think of commissions as a quick paying non-obligation form of work that they don't have to worry about or it is basically them getting paid to do their hobby that they can get around to doing only when they are in the best of moods.

No matter what mood I am in, I still go into work or I don't get paid........thats how things work in the world.

I will say this now. I will be posting another journal in the new year which will say everything I am owed, but I won't be stating which artists specifically that owe me. I just want to show you all the perspective of why I've done nothing but rant about commissions this past year.

I promise someday I will post a positive journal.