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My Art Life
11 years ago
General
I don't really upload much in here, I don't upload much sketches here unless it looks good, most of what I upload here are the good-looking ones that I can really say "finished" and successful artworks. Rarely do I upload new artworks here, the reason why, is that I rarely do something as good as my "Opening A World of Imagination" artwork. It's like 1 in a 100 chance. If I do sketches, more or less I just upload them in facebook, which no, sorry, won't just tell to anyone about it. Work-In-Progress stuff also come in facebook, but I think I should also upload it here or something, I'm thinking about it.
Alongside with that though, there's... my life. See, I'm not a usual artist who always have ideas and continues to make art non-stop, making beautiful crafted artworks straight from a blank canvas. No. I'm a type of artist who makes a deal with almost... anything. I have a bad habit of getting ridiculously envious of other people's artworks, and getting ridiculously intensely depressed over it, having negative thinking, telling myself I suck at art I won't achieve this kind of art, no one likes my art, I'm just wasting my time, etc. etc. self-pity and stuff, flooding my thoughts with stuff that... really doesn't exist. It may seem to you that this is like a normal thing for a starting artist to feel, but I've been feeling this ever since I shifted from computer engineering course to a multimedia arts course, that's mid-2013. and until this moment, it still lingers behind my brain.
Countless depression moments shroud my whole life, just because of art. When it's not supposed to be like that. I try to pick myself up but I still go down. Envy, jealousy, depression, self-pity, negative thinking... these are the things that haunt me in my art life, a lot of people already know this, and a lot have already given me advice, and there are probably some... that have already given up on me, not changing.
This, is my real art life, dunno how many more times should I try just to change, but it has been countless, just as countless as the times I've been in a critical state of depression.
Alongside with that though, there's... my life. See, I'm not a usual artist who always have ideas and continues to make art non-stop, making beautiful crafted artworks straight from a blank canvas. No. I'm a type of artist who makes a deal with almost... anything. I have a bad habit of getting ridiculously envious of other people's artworks, and getting ridiculously intensely depressed over it, having negative thinking, telling myself I suck at art I won't achieve this kind of art, no one likes my art, I'm just wasting my time, etc. etc. self-pity and stuff, flooding my thoughts with stuff that... really doesn't exist. It may seem to you that this is like a normal thing for a starting artist to feel, but I've been feeling this ever since I shifted from computer engineering course to a multimedia arts course, that's mid-2013. and until this moment, it still lingers behind my brain.
Countless depression moments shroud my whole life, just because of art. When it's not supposed to be like that. I try to pick myself up but I still go down. Envy, jealousy, depression, self-pity, negative thinking... these are the things that haunt me in my art life, a lot of people already know this, and a lot have already given me advice, and there are probably some... that have already given up on me, not changing.
This, is my real art life, dunno how many more times should I try just to change, but it has been countless, just as countless as the times I've been in a critical state of depression.
