Alright, so I will drop more details here. So going into surgery I was very nervious, the process took some time in post op, with getting into the gown, getting the IV... But after this I got carted off, I got to see my family in post op and after. I had to talk the entire time while I was carted to the operation table, and while on the table, or I would have gone into a super panic attack. Before I could ask them to record the surgery I was out. But they took pictures. Man I was fucked up inside. So much so that the surgeon was very shocked in how much of the small intestine when inside my scrotum. I m normal now, little different that it's not so big, but I'm greatful nothing was effected. The nurse blessed me befor ether started, which immediately calmed me down. Almost enough to cry.

It took about 3 or so hours, a lot longer then expected, I had tubes all over the place to keep me breathing, and in other areas and whatnot Dx. I woke up, felt like a few min but I had a very bad nightmare and this worke me up almost immediately after being in the recovery room. I was very loud, crying in terror, I went right into a huge panic attack, I came too when just about everyone there supported me and helped me out of it. They were so helpful it ended as soon as it started.

After I came too they had me dress, me being a bit shy, even though about all of them saw me naked, I dressed myself... Btw it's a stupid idea, I bout fell over, but got it done. My surgeon came by and I thanked him a million times over for fixing my body. He told me that what this hernia is was a birth defect. Anyone in my family has the chance of getting this. He advised everyone keep an eve out for this. It will slip in the sack if your not careful. Also unfortunatly I have a very good chance of getting this back during my recovery process just from getting up and down in an odd way. I can also get it back in 1-10 years. So let's just say, never again will I lift things too too heavy. I know my limit and will abide by it. I don't want to do this again. Even ten years from now. Why, it will be worse. He guaranteed it.

Coming home was an absolute nightmare as well. Aside from not being able to move very well (surgeon asked that I get up and down, walk every day to the bathroom by myself) it's almost impossible with out my father basically picking me up and down. I use the momentum laws to get in and out of bed. I feel very broken and very uncomfrtrabol.

Now today, I woke up at 6ish AM to a little bit of pain, as my body awoke I just about froze to the point where I shivered so bad I couldn't breath at all. I had to stand or I was going to pass out from lack of oxygen,. As I mentioned before I'm having issues breathing. I'm really close in asking if we get an oxygen tank and mask for when this happens to me for just today and tomorrow. Anyway I took my medication but have to now sit in my desk chair, I cannot lie in my bed, it's just too hard right now. Maybe in a few hours when my insides stop hurting enought to breath properly.

Sorry it's lengthy everyone, wanted to post this last night but with the pain I just couldn't. I also said I wanted to chitchat. This isn't as much of the case, I'm very nauseous, but I needed to type this. I keep going in and out. But I promise I will talk with peeps soon, just once I'm better. Also If I said things to you about commissions, know that I never back down whim as serious as this. Unless I cannot afford. Kinda wish I was on trusted commissioners.

Thanks for reading everyone!