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2014: The winds of Change
11 years ago
Technically I still have a few days left of 2014; but I think its close enough that the chance of anything exciting happening that would impact this overall year in review is pretty slim. And if it does- I'll Edit it.
2014 was a very interesting year. There were lots of ups and downs but I think for once the ups outweighed the downs. But I'll move on to the review:
Career Changes
2014 started with a very frustrated Yarrick, who was making good money but was overwhelmed at work- and work refused to give me any permanent help (IE Hire someone) so my first Big choice and change for the year came at the End of Feb where I quit a Full Time job to take my chances as a contractor again. Looking back it was a tough call and I'm still not sure what the right choice was. Since I choose to leave a sure thing for a contract "to hire" job it ended up meaning I would be unemployed again before the end of June, but I didn't know that at the time...
I left my full time job for a contract for a company that was literally a stone's throw away from where I lived. At first it seemed I made the right choice. I got along well with my Boss and Co-workers. The team worked together like a well oiled machine. There were a few busy/stressful days but it was NOTHING like my last job and there was always someone else there to help out. I was sure that I had made the right decision.
Then my Manager quit to go to a different thing. The sure "you will become hired at the end of your contract" suddenly went away. Fate tossed me a Nasty screwball. The new manager they got was a complete Asshole. He took a very "hands off" approach and did everything he could to avoid interacting with his team. Which in itself... might have been OK had it not been for the fact that he would NOT hire on ANY contractors; even those who knew the job and were working well with the team and DEMANDED a 4 year college degree. 7 years of experience, worthless to him. I could have had 25 years of experience and I still would have been discarded like a dirty sock from that douchebag. Because I was a contractor. Because he was the almighty Harvard Doctorate Douchebag and if you didn't have a college degree you were in his eyes a worthless pile regardless of how much you actually brought to the team.
So... needless to say my contract was not extended and I was left fending for myself. I did at-least qualify for Unemployment - and made enough to pay off my bills (Including my car payment from my new Vehicle) This was the only saving grace.
I spent the next four and a half months struggling with Unemployment. I got tons and tons of interviews and usually made it to the second interview; only to get the same response back "Oh you were ALMOST good enough, but we went with the OTHER guy". I got two contracts where I was accepted but then discarded after a week of work not for anything I did wrong (in EITHER case) but because they didn't "Need" me anymore. Needless to say... quite frustrating. I began to start to wish that I wasn't forced to work in IT since that was the only profession that I am "qualified" for that makes enough money to pay my bills. Retail- there is no way I could make enough money on that even while living at home for $200 a month in rent and no additional food costs other then eating out.
I have enough debt to pay off that $15 an hour is the minimum I need to make just to scrape by and I'd need atleast $17 an hour to live "comfortably" IE buy a few dinners out and go to a few cons a year, etc.
In November I finally I got accepted somewhere that lasted more then a week; but in doing so I had to take a step down on the IT ladder. Atleast the step down wasn't back to a callcenter. I'm now on a contract till June of 2015 for doing the "IT Brute Squad" IE a mass computer deployment project at a large Health Care provider. The job up to now has been only part time because they are preparing for the big deployment and most hospitals and clinics have been pushing things off to the start of 2015 due to the Holidays and well Fiscal things. I've been getting by on this; but in order to really get back on my feet it needs to go Full Time as promised starting in Jan.
I like my boss. He's stood up for us several times as our department tends to become the punching bag in IT as we are on the bottom of the Hierarchy. I like my team (which as of right now just consists of one other person). The Job is very un-stressful mentally: In reality there isn't much too it. I unbox PCs. I image PCs. I deploy PCs. Rinse and Repeat. Very little troubleshooting, very few incidents of agitated clients. I'm in, I'm out, then I move on.
Physically, the job is a lot more taxing then anything I have been doing in years. Surprisingly I am not that sore and my back has been co-operating so far. If anything, the job is most likely strengthing my back which in the long run is a good thing.
But that's enough about the job front. Right now after a very frustrating year I am doing OK. The job while not the most exciting on the flip side is low stress. Money is a little tight- I can't really buy any new lenses or toys or catch up on my Credit Card and other Debts. When it goes Full Time this issue will go away. If it doesn't go full time as promised- I'll be back to looking come around February if not earlier again and starting this frustrating process all over again - I'm hoping it does not come to that.
Relationship
So after talking about the most frustrating part of 2014 let's talk about the most positive one. 2014 started as no different then the rest of my life, well atleast since around 2007 when I first started to feel that "something is missing" vibe and started trying to date.
Most people have been doing the whole BF/GF BF/BF or GF/GF thing since High School. I spent my High School and "would be" college years not even thinking about Girls even though I am indeed straight and not Asexual as many might have thought. I had other things to concentrate on. I had my social outlets even if many of them were online. I lived a very sheltered life until around 2002 when I decided it was "time to venture out into the REAL world" and was time to start making friends other then the very small handful I had from High School. Five years after that, I had enough exposure to seeing friends have relationships to realize that something was still missing.
I ran into a lot of challenges when I first tried to start dating. A lot of the girls who showed 'interest' in me were a lot younger then I was. To the point where it just felt... weird. I think a lot of this had to do with the fact that I did not have the experience that most people have at my age with the dating thing.
A few wanted to take things waay too fast. Since I didn't have that much experience dating this made me very uncomfortable. My first kiss came on my second date with one such gal and she wanted to get into my pants on the third. I know "most straight guys" would have been all HELL YEAH!!!!! >.> But I am NOT like most straight guys. My mind does NOT revolve around Sex unlike the rest of the US. I could go on a rant about that one alone... and I have... but I won't.
Then I had the ones who got wierded out by the whole "furry" thing. Its a part of me... I can't deny who I am and I am NOT going to deny the majority of my friends who at this point all have some connection to the Furry Fandom one way or another. I'd get a date in or two - things would go well and they'd either find out or I'd be honest and tell them about the Furry thing...
And I'd never hear from them again...
I also had a few that tried to form "open" relationships with me which quickly became very complicated and I learned quickly that for the sake of sanity... Yeah Monogamy is the key....
I was at the point of giving up, saying I'd give it one last shot as nothing had lasted for more then a few dates in the 7 years I had been trying to find someone. I decided to give it one last chance. I was convinced that looking "inside the fandom" was Nigh impossible for the sheer lack of gals I ran into who weren't taken, significantly younger to me (IE Robbing the Cradle), lives 500 miles away from me (and I could not do a long distance relationship nor really move or support someone financially to move) or... Well... Crazy....
I decided to go back to the dating site where most of my "OMG you are a Furry... umm... -CLICK-" responses came from and give it one more shot. It was one of the few places I had some level of connection - even if it never could make it past that point.
That's when I met
faelyncypher . The moment I started talking with her I knew something was different. I was open about the Furry thing with her pretty early on and she wasn't scared away. In fact I suspected that she may have some connection to it or making a connection to it wouldn't be very hard...
We think a lot alike but are still very much individuals. We respect each other. Neither of us is "in control" of the relationship - I don't think I could do a one sided relationship on either end. We are still taking things slow - but I have enjoyed every moment I have got to spend with her since the first time we met. It still feels very surreal to me. Altough there are times when we can't spend that much time together due to School and Work and Volunteer activities (we both realize we have our own lives) that "something missing" has gone away and I have someone to share my life experiences with.
A lot of my friends still have problems finding someone. Some have given up, others are frustrated to the point of insanity about it. I never got to the latter because I had my friends. And Fae above all IS one of my closest Friends. And that, among all else IS why it works
I've learned a few things this year about relationships; even if I am still new to the game:
1. Don't give up: It took me Seven Years to find someone. It's not something that happens over night.
2. You will get burned. You will get rejected. But you'll get over it. Move on.
3. You have your own life, and so does your potential partner. Don't try to change either of them. Trying to change or hide who you are and "be someone different" will only make things harder for you. If you have to Hide something from your SO it's not going to work out....
4. Don't rush into things. Don't be clingy. This sorta ties into #3. You both still need to have your own lives and need to be able to live those lives without having to lean on your date constantly. If you feel you "can't live without having your mate constantly at your side" you will burn each other out and the time spent together will become a lot less special.
5. Don't assume you know everything. I admit - I'm new to this... but regardless of if you've been dating for 6 days, 6 weeks, 6 months or 6 years... don't be surprised when you learn something new.
And I'll leave it at that. Meeting faelyncypher is the best thing that happened in 2014 by far, but at the same time I am still the same old Yarrick. My friends aren't going to change. What I do for fun and the communities I support are not going to change. <3
Everything Else/Recap
Work and relationship were the two huge changes for me in 2014 by far. I’ve already covered both of them in great detail so I suppose I’ll cover the rest of the highlights and lowlights for 2014.
-I traded in my small, fuel efficient little car for a Ford Edge, a midsize SUV/crossover vehicle. Previous to this I had to borrow my parents vehicles and play car roulette. Whenever I wanted to use my boat I had to borrow my dad’s truck. Whenever I wanted to go to a Con or long roadtrip with more then just myself I had to borrow my mom’s Saturn VUE so that I had the cargo capacity to do so. I decided it was time to stop playing car roulette to save a few bucks on gas a week – because when I get my own life I will no longer be able to rely on this. So I bought a Soccer Mom special with a large enough engine to pull my boat that still gets better gas mileage then the Truck. And so far its been one of the best decisions I’ve made this year.
-I got voted on as a Board Director for
mnfurs. I didn’t do it for myself. I did not run for election to put a “gold star” on my personal/ “popufur” ranking. I ran because the need was there. I was doing a lot for this community as it was, and becoming a board director really hasn’t changed all that much for me with my commitment to the local community.
One of the Directors was stepping down and needed to be replaced. I originally wasn’t going to run; but there weren’t that many people running for the positions up for election and the more I thought about it the more it made sense. There was so much more I wanted to do for the community but I was hitting walls. It was time to take the next step. Whether I’ll run again when my time comes up in 2016 I am uncertain… but I won’t stop helping the local MNFurs community as it has done so much for me.
-I was staff photographer for four Fandom cons. Three of those helping out as one of the studio photographers and our local
furrymigration as the Lead photographer. I’ve been an event photographer for a lot of local events in the past and I enjoy taking photos and video so others can re-live their con memories. I also volunteered for Como Zoo as their Offical Photographer for Zoo Boo.
-I had to give up on a dream of doing my Studio Photography as a side business or hobby business. I had to give up my Studio which was the much harder part as it was a place I could use to escape home. It was my Superman Fortress of Solitude. And I could have friends over without worrying about my parents or Pet allergies that some of them have. Believe me.. there are still plenty of times, especially during the winter, that I wish I had my studio just for that reason alone. But until I get a job that is stable with regular hours and a for sure thing I can't even think about it...
-Early December I survived a very rough weekend: having to help control a very tense situation in the aftermath of a Terrorist attack, followed by watching one of my close friends winding up in the ER on the way home. As well as the cloud of doubt hanging over my head with how much longer I can keep helping MFF out for all that I do for MNFurs. It will have to be atleast one more year... And during that time I very much doubt the odds of either of the other two stressors that will forever mark MFF 2014 in my mind of happening ever again.
In recap: I didn’t spend as much time outdoors doing photography or fishing due to just how insanely busy as I was this year. In spite of being unemployed for half of summer and most of fall I managed to fill that time up with other things.
Life has stepped into high gear in 2014 and it won’t be slowing down any time soon. Gone are the days where I could spend almost every night at the Friendly Local Game store during winter or on my boat during summer. I can still do these things, but only in much more limited moderation. I have too many other obligations to sit in a shell anymore which used to describe me to a T. Yes there are a few days where I “miss” not having as much responsibility as I have now… but at the same time I would not trade all that I have gained from putting my foot forward for all the gold in Ancient Egypt.
Life is changing, life is accelerating. Now it’s time to hunker down and hang on for the ride.
2014 was a very interesting year. There were lots of ups and downs but I think for once the ups outweighed the downs. But I'll move on to the review:
Career Changes
2014 started with a very frustrated Yarrick, who was making good money but was overwhelmed at work- and work refused to give me any permanent help (IE Hire someone) so my first Big choice and change for the year came at the End of Feb where I quit a Full Time job to take my chances as a contractor again. Looking back it was a tough call and I'm still not sure what the right choice was. Since I choose to leave a sure thing for a contract "to hire" job it ended up meaning I would be unemployed again before the end of June, but I didn't know that at the time...
I left my full time job for a contract for a company that was literally a stone's throw away from where I lived. At first it seemed I made the right choice. I got along well with my Boss and Co-workers. The team worked together like a well oiled machine. There were a few busy/stressful days but it was NOTHING like my last job and there was always someone else there to help out. I was sure that I had made the right decision.
Then my Manager quit to go to a different thing. The sure "you will become hired at the end of your contract" suddenly went away. Fate tossed me a Nasty screwball. The new manager they got was a complete Asshole. He took a very "hands off" approach and did everything he could to avoid interacting with his team. Which in itself... might have been OK had it not been for the fact that he would NOT hire on ANY contractors; even those who knew the job and were working well with the team and DEMANDED a 4 year college degree. 7 years of experience, worthless to him. I could have had 25 years of experience and I still would have been discarded like a dirty sock from that douchebag. Because I was a contractor. Because he was the almighty Harvard Doctorate Douchebag and if you didn't have a college degree you were in his eyes a worthless pile regardless of how much you actually brought to the team.
So... needless to say my contract was not extended and I was left fending for myself. I did at-least qualify for Unemployment - and made enough to pay off my bills (Including my car payment from my new Vehicle) This was the only saving grace.
I spent the next four and a half months struggling with Unemployment. I got tons and tons of interviews and usually made it to the second interview; only to get the same response back "Oh you were ALMOST good enough, but we went with the OTHER guy". I got two contracts where I was accepted but then discarded after a week of work not for anything I did wrong (in EITHER case) but because they didn't "Need" me anymore. Needless to say... quite frustrating. I began to start to wish that I wasn't forced to work in IT since that was the only profession that I am "qualified" for that makes enough money to pay my bills. Retail- there is no way I could make enough money on that even while living at home for $200 a month in rent and no additional food costs other then eating out.
I have enough debt to pay off that $15 an hour is the minimum I need to make just to scrape by and I'd need atleast $17 an hour to live "comfortably" IE buy a few dinners out and go to a few cons a year, etc.
In November I finally I got accepted somewhere that lasted more then a week; but in doing so I had to take a step down on the IT ladder. Atleast the step down wasn't back to a callcenter. I'm now on a contract till June of 2015 for doing the "IT Brute Squad" IE a mass computer deployment project at a large Health Care provider. The job up to now has been only part time because they are preparing for the big deployment and most hospitals and clinics have been pushing things off to the start of 2015 due to the Holidays and well Fiscal things. I've been getting by on this; but in order to really get back on my feet it needs to go Full Time as promised starting in Jan.
I like my boss. He's stood up for us several times as our department tends to become the punching bag in IT as we are on the bottom of the Hierarchy. I like my team (which as of right now just consists of one other person). The Job is very un-stressful mentally: In reality there isn't much too it. I unbox PCs. I image PCs. I deploy PCs. Rinse and Repeat. Very little troubleshooting, very few incidents of agitated clients. I'm in, I'm out, then I move on.
Physically, the job is a lot more taxing then anything I have been doing in years. Surprisingly I am not that sore and my back has been co-operating so far. If anything, the job is most likely strengthing my back which in the long run is a good thing.
But that's enough about the job front. Right now after a very frustrating year I am doing OK. The job while not the most exciting on the flip side is low stress. Money is a little tight- I can't really buy any new lenses or toys or catch up on my Credit Card and other Debts. When it goes Full Time this issue will go away. If it doesn't go full time as promised- I'll be back to looking come around February if not earlier again and starting this frustrating process all over again - I'm hoping it does not come to that.
Relationship
So after talking about the most frustrating part of 2014 let's talk about the most positive one. 2014 started as no different then the rest of my life, well atleast since around 2007 when I first started to feel that "something is missing" vibe and started trying to date.
Most people have been doing the whole BF/GF BF/BF or GF/GF thing since High School. I spent my High School and "would be" college years not even thinking about Girls even though I am indeed straight and not Asexual as many might have thought. I had other things to concentrate on. I had my social outlets even if many of them were online. I lived a very sheltered life until around 2002 when I decided it was "time to venture out into the REAL world" and was time to start making friends other then the very small handful I had from High School. Five years after that, I had enough exposure to seeing friends have relationships to realize that something was still missing.
I ran into a lot of challenges when I first tried to start dating. A lot of the girls who showed 'interest' in me were a lot younger then I was. To the point where it just felt... weird. I think a lot of this had to do with the fact that I did not have the experience that most people have at my age with the dating thing.
A few wanted to take things waay too fast. Since I didn't have that much experience dating this made me very uncomfortable. My first kiss came on my second date with one such gal and she wanted to get into my pants on the third. I know "most straight guys" would have been all HELL YEAH!!!!! >.> But I am NOT like most straight guys. My mind does NOT revolve around Sex unlike the rest of the US. I could go on a rant about that one alone... and I have... but I won't.
Then I had the ones who got wierded out by the whole "furry" thing. Its a part of me... I can't deny who I am and I am NOT going to deny the majority of my friends who at this point all have some connection to the Furry Fandom one way or another. I'd get a date in or two - things would go well and they'd either find out or I'd be honest and tell them about the Furry thing...
And I'd never hear from them again...
I also had a few that tried to form "open" relationships with me which quickly became very complicated and I learned quickly that for the sake of sanity... Yeah Monogamy is the key....
I was at the point of giving up, saying I'd give it one last shot as nothing had lasted for more then a few dates in the 7 years I had been trying to find someone. I decided to give it one last chance. I was convinced that looking "inside the fandom" was Nigh impossible for the sheer lack of gals I ran into who weren't taken, significantly younger to me (IE Robbing the Cradle), lives 500 miles away from me (and I could not do a long distance relationship nor really move or support someone financially to move) or... Well... Crazy....
I decided to go back to the dating site where most of my "OMG you are a Furry... umm... -CLICK-" responses came from and give it one more shot. It was one of the few places I had some level of connection - even if it never could make it past that point.
That's when I met
faelyncypher . The moment I started talking with her I knew something was different. I was open about the Furry thing with her pretty early on and she wasn't scared away. In fact I suspected that she may have some connection to it or making a connection to it wouldn't be very hard... We think a lot alike but are still very much individuals. We respect each other. Neither of us is "in control" of the relationship - I don't think I could do a one sided relationship on either end. We are still taking things slow - but I have enjoyed every moment I have got to spend with her since the first time we met. It still feels very surreal to me. Altough there are times when we can't spend that much time together due to School and Work and Volunteer activities (we both realize we have our own lives) that "something missing" has gone away and I have someone to share my life experiences with.
A lot of my friends still have problems finding someone. Some have given up, others are frustrated to the point of insanity about it. I never got to the latter because I had my friends. And Fae above all IS one of my closest Friends. And that, among all else IS why it works
I've learned a few things this year about relationships; even if I am still new to the game:
1. Don't give up: It took me Seven Years to find someone. It's not something that happens over night.
2. You will get burned. You will get rejected. But you'll get over it. Move on.
3. You have your own life, and so does your potential partner. Don't try to change either of them. Trying to change or hide who you are and "be someone different" will only make things harder for you. If you have to Hide something from your SO it's not going to work out....
4. Don't rush into things. Don't be clingy. This sorta ties into #3. You both still need to have your own lives and need to be able to live those lives without having to lean on your date constantly. If you feel you "can't live without having your mate constantly at your side" you will burn each other out and the time spent together will become a lot less special.
5. Don't assume you know everything. I admit - I'm new to this... but regardless of if you've been dating for 6 days, 6 weeks, 6 months or 6 years... don't be surprised when you learn something new.
And I'll leave it at that. Meeting
faelyncypher is the best thing that happened in 2014 by far, but at the same time I am still the same old Yarrick. My friends aren't going to change. What I do for fun and the communities I support are not going to change. <3Everything Else/Recap
Work and relationship were the two huge changes for me in 2014 by far. I’ve already covered both of them in great detail so I suppose I’ll cover the rest of the highlights and lowlights for 2014.
-I traded in my small, fuel efficient little car for a Ford Edge, a midsize SUV/crossover vehicle. Previous to this I had to borrow my parents vehicles and play car roulette. Whenever I wanted to use my boat I had to borrow my dad’s truck. Whenever I wanted to go to a Con or long roadtrip with more then just myself I had to borrow my mom’s Saturn VUE so that I had the cargo capacity to do so. I decided it was time to stop playing car roulette to save a few bucks on gas a week – because when I get my own life I will no longer be able to rely on this. So I bought a Soccer Mom special with a large enough engine to pull my boat that still gets better gas mileage then the Truck. And so far its been one of the best decisions I’ve made this year.
-I got voted on as a Board Director for
mnfurs. I didn’t do it for myself. I did not run for election to put a “gold star” on my personal/ “popufur” ranking. I ran because the need was there. I was doing a lot for this community as it was, and becoming a board director really hasn’t changed all that much for me with my commitment to the local community. One of the Directors was stepping down and needed to be replaced. I originally wasn’t going to run; but there weren’t that many people running for the positions up for election and the more I thought about it the more it made sense. There was so much more I wanted to do for the community but I was hitting walls. It was time to take the next step. Whether I’ll run again when my time comes up in 2016 I am uncertain… but I won’t stop helping the local MNFurs community as it has done so much for me.
-I was staff photographer for four Fandom cons. Three of those helping out as one of the studio photographers and our local
furrymigration as the Lead photographer. I’ve been an event photographer for a lot of local events in the past and I enjoy taking photos and video so others can re-live their con memories. I also volunteered for Como Zoo as their Offical Photographer for Zoo Boo.-I had to give up on a dream of doing my Studio Photography as a side business or hobby business. I had to give up my Studio which was the much harder part as it was a place I could use to escape home. It was my Superman Fortress of Solitude. And I could have friends over without worrying about my parents or Pet allergies that some of them have. Believe me.. there are still plenty of times, especially during the winter, that I wish I had my studio just for that reason alone. But until I get a job that is stable with regular hours and a for sure thing I can't even think about it...
-Early December I survived a very rough weekend: having to help control a very tense situation in the aftermath of a Terrorist attack, followed by watching one of my close friends winding up in the ER on the way home. As well as the cloud of doubt hanging over my head with how much longer I can keep helping MFF out for all that I do for MNFurs. It will have to be atleast one more year... And during that time I very much doubt the odds of either of the other two stressors that will forever mark MFF 2014 in my mind of happening ever again.
In recap: I didn’t spend as much time outdoors doing photography or fishing due to just how insanely busy as I was this year. In spite of being unemployed for half of summer and most of fall I managed to fill that time up with other things.
Life has stepped into high gear in 2014 and it won’t be slowing down any time soon. Gone are the days where I could spend almost every night at the Friendly Local Game store during winter or on my boat during summer. I can still do these things, but only in much more limited moderation. I have too many other obligations to sit in a shell anymore which used to describe me to a T. Yes there are a few days where I “miss” not having as much responsibility as I have now… but at the same time I would not trade all that I have gained from putting my foot forward for all the gold in Ancient Egypt.
Life is changing, life is accelerating. Now it’s time to hunker down and hang on for the ride.
