http://news.yahoo.com/the-new-face-.....231106807.html

I found the above story on the front page of Yahoo today. Watching it made me happy and hopeful for our future as a supportive and understanding people, and it made me wonder... would I be considered male right now had I more understanding parents? They claim I was traumatized at a young age by a little boy who tried to look under my skirt (school uniform). Would that really affect one in such a way that I'd never want to wear dresses again. That I'd only be happy with my hair short. I'd never want to play with dolls unless they were animals dressed in clothes. I had some Ken dolls growing up when my parents tried to encourage me into more feminine toys, but I hardly touched them and when playing house I was always a husband or son. In the end I preferred asking for Hot Wheels when I was at McDonalds when they had the boy/girl toys of either Polly Pocket or cars. To this day when I need to shave or am advised to wear something more 'womanly' to an interview, or my dad bashes my haircut after getting back from the hair dresser... I feel like I was kicked in the gut and I want to find a dark hole to hide and cry in. This society of 'norms' for genders makes me sick and fear for others like myself who struggle with what to associate themselves as. Until I got with my mates I was always ambiguous about my gender online. If I had to list a gender at all it was always male. Or I was nothing, as it was the closest representation of my actual feelings of my gender. Now I feel like I can associate myself more as something. Because I'm accepted as I am. And I'm happy. There's still conflict with my family and the rest of society, and it took a long time to find this point of 'neutral', but when there is time there is hope. I'm older than my loves, but I'm still young. I need to remind myself that.


...I don't know where I'm going with this. I guess I related to the news story more than I had thought. Certainly didn't intend to type out a sob story, especially since I doubt anyone reads my journals, but it's written out now... and I kinda like it. I can't save, so might as well post. The one thing I love about this place. We're all accepted here. Let's keep doing that.