Ten years ago I started writing in LiveJournal. When Facebook took over and LJ started to die there's want's anyplace to go and see what my friends where up to or to share what I was up to so I quit. I'm going to try to start again here and get in the habit of doing this every day.

A lot has been going on with me, not all of it good. Basically I think I'm suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) because two winters in a row now I've gone through debilitating depressions. This manifests itself in many ways but the most difficult one is facing my own mortality and thinking about what it means when I get old and die.

Now a lot of people I know are younger so they might not be able to "get" this but I'm turning 55 in a couple weeks and statistically I've got 20-25 years left. This means I'm 2/3rds of the way and this is scary. This scare had been very effective at helping me quit smoking because I sure don't want to shorten the time. I have gotten a full medical check and I'm in pretty good shape so that's been good news.

Many questions present themselves including;
Have I accomplished what I want to?
What will be my legacy?
What should I do for my son, family & mate?

I could write a LOT about what I've been been going through but you get the gist.