As of today, I am officially closed for all commissions and trades. Duration of the close is still undetermined, and all notes will be disabled. For those waiting on art, I will be compelling what I owe and getting it to you when I can.

So why?

- My hours at work have been cut. Making $500 less a month than I used to.
- My car is in desperate need of repair, about $1000 worth.
- I’m contractually locked into my fitness class. That's $147/mo that I can't get out of.
- The graphics card in my laptop died. No money to repair it.
- I’m trying to catch up on back rent. As of Feb 1st, I will be $1200 behind.
- I’m being sued for a past delinquent bill. In the hole $2700.
- Art is just not happening for me and I feel awful about it.

And I’m being crushed under it all.

I tried to overcome. Last night was the fist time in a long while I was geared up for art. I was drawing and excited to do so. It was like part of me was reforming again into something I’d lost. I gushed to a friend about how fortunate I felt to be a part of this this fandom, who I knew and the privileges that came with those friendships, and that I could be something great if I worked hard enough for it. I was feeling good.

And then in the middle of a commission, out of the blue, the image on my screen split, covered in pixelated lines. Had no other choice but to hard reset, and then nothing.

I’m so tired of being shot down every time I attempt to stretch my wings.

Pandas just aren’t meant to fly.

I quit.