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i made an account for really gross depraved stuff be careful
11 years ago
General
sometimes I draw really really gross things and I have nowhere to post them and now I do
scataraxia
B-)
scataraxiaB-)
no not like that
noooo
no hard feelings? :'3c
Not really into it, but it's nice to see something different and exotic. From a Freudian perspective, that's some amazing food for thought.
*points you to lay on the couch*
Let's start with why you draw.
In my DIY philosophy, every human behavior which cannot be easily explained, roots in misaligned animal behavior. As with creativity, it can have three main, primordial causes: building a nest, mating, or satisfying a biological urge. Each of those has a right reason, but the intellect does all it can to obfuscate it.
For example:
Why does A artist draw? So that he might earn profit by selling commissions (nest).
Why does B artist draw? So that he might better understand what's happening in his head (satisfaction).
Why does C artist draw? So that other people would leave "ohh" "cool!" "i came" comments on his page (mating).
Why does D artist draw? So that his pain would go away (satisfaction).
Why does E artist draw? So that he can fap to what he drew (satisfaction).
Why does F artist draw? Because his friend also draws, and he wants to beat him. (mating + satisfaction)
Why does G artist draw? So that he can acquire more friends. (nest + mating)
Why does H artist draw? Because he has that deep, bigger-than-life world in his head, and he wants to materialize it before it's forgotten. (nest + satisfaction)
Why does I artist draw? To tell other people what kind of person he is. (mating + satisfaction)
etc,etc.
Last example, why do I write stories? So that I might leave something behind. Why? So I can use that to gain profit (goal: building a nest), to gain admiration or respect from others (goal: mating), or that I might satisfy an urge (goal: satisfaction; it doesn't need to be sexual release, it can be an emotional one, like crying after an emotional scene, or intellectual one, being happy for being able to finish a novel).
And now we come to sexual fetishes. I love them because they're such a beautiful thing to study and experiment with, and they offer you a keyhole through which you can peek into the inner workings of one's self. Above I tried to elaborate reasons why you would want to create art. Now let me try to drag out in the open the reasons for your fondness of excrement.
As I said, everything is rooted in nature. First let me disassemble the mixed feelings associated with the scat fetish. Hostility and disgust with feces is a feeling which is hardcoded into our beings, out of obvious reasons.
Let me start with my definition of a fetish: it's a behavior contrary to the hard-coded signals in our DNA. Neocortex going against the reptilian brain, a creature going against it's biological purpose. I don't have any illusion about my, yours and any other human's purpose in this world, and that is to create offspring, and keep the DNA code alive through countless years. That is my axiom of life. But let's get back to scat.
A biological creature's immune system requires a certain level of challenge to function properly (otherwise we get all kinds of problems, like allergies, internal inflammations, etc). Being dirty is a part of being alive; ever heard of FMT? Parasites and feces seem like a good challenge, but as with other things, it's all in the balance. There are more bacterial cells in our bodies than there are high-level eukaryota. Excrement contains a tremendous amount of bacterial mass, and as such it is a danger to every immune system, given it's administered in sufficient quantities. That's why it needs to be taken out of the body and left alone to decompose, returning mass and energy to the ecosystem; that's a balanced view on things. A hard lesson within our DNA: don't eat shit unless you absolutely have to, otherwise you'll die. You can roll in it, but don't let it get to your eyes or nose. Don't lick it, for Darwin's sake, ah, stop it, bad fox, bad fox! It's a simple rule to follow. That's why the scat fetish is mostly rare (compared to other fetishes, that is). Watersports is a minor immune threat, and so it's more prevalent in the population. Easier to cross the taboo. Digressing much, am I?
But sometimes those simple rules are twisted, mostly by our upbringing. We are deprived of immune challenges by living in a clean, almost antiseptic environment. Pooping is a taboo, something no one ever is allowed to do near other people. The hardcoded rule in the core of our beings is unnaturally amplified by the culture, and it turns into a psychosis or psychopatology. There are some rare exceptions where culture and upbringing has a positive view on defecation (caganers for example), but that outlook is rare in the western world from which you (probably) originate.
In the ancient times, kids were left to play out near the house, naked, and they'd learn the natural way of keeping things in order. They might try to eat or play with their excrement, but the hardcoded disgust would tell them to stop, and it would be all right. Like the hardcoded signal for sexual attraction, for gay people it gets wrongly interpreted by the culture as a deviation... but that's a whole other can of worms.
You keep the dung out of your mind, right? You try not to think of it? That's the deadly dichotomy, like a Zen koan: “try not to think about the white horse”. Making monsters out of simple things is what creates fetishes. There needs to be a sense of alienation of the act, for the fetish to exist. The dung is there, in the back of your mind, and while you try not to think about it, you actually think about it all the time. It's like being awkward with people; whenever you imagine talking to someone, the fear of appearing like a creep doesn't let you relax, not for a single moment. And some start thinking that being awkward is the only way. I see this process is a lot similar how a fetish develops. Or another example: being closeted gay, and not being able to speak about your problem. Your natural need grows into an abomination, you start thinking of men like sexual objects for your own satisfaction. Then ruins your communication skills, first because you don't talk with objects (you don't give names to fleshlights, right?), and second, because each time you think about that guy as a whole person similar to yourself, your mind goes racing on how he has a great butt, how far he shoots, how would he look in Sailor Moon outfit, etc.
Oh gawd, I wish FA would support adding footnotes in text. So many cross-references!
So, there's the twisting of rules and alienation of the act. These two, if repeated over time, develop a strong neural link, and make the person behave according to it. It's a process where the brain, faced with a risk of more serious damage, turns a painful feeling into a comfortable one.
Think of one tiny voice which yells in your brain: “don't poop your pants, don't poop your pants, you're in a bus full of people, for Darwin's sake”. A mature individual knows how to control those voices: “I won't poop myself, I am in control, even if I do, it's not the end of the world”. But if there's not enough metal control (maturity), the voice can take over the whole thinking process, eventually throwing the brain into panic, even hysteria or catatonia. So to avoid the catastrophic BSOD, the defense mechanisms reroute the repeating emergency signals into the pleasure and satisfaction circuitry, which is robust enough and can take quite a synaptic beating. The voice is now interpreted as: “Oooh, nice. I've always wanted to shit myself. Erection, engage.”
Danger and shame turns into pleasure. It's very much like the Stockholm syndrome.
This is the point where I'd need more information. When's the first time you found that fetish is arousing you? Have you ever tried it in real life? Can you think of something which triggered it? All very interesting questions you might want to ask yourself for a better clarification of the matter.
*clicks his pen while watching you lying on the couch*
Know yourself, that's the key. Be your own hacker, don't let others have root access.
Shit, it could have been worse than that.