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My State Since this Winter Begun
11 years ago
Well, if you want the short version, it wasn't so bright. Christmas, New Year's Eve and the first days of 2015 were a combination of sadness and dullness, not to mention the fact that there was a very obvious lack of Christmas carols to be heard (I loved hearing these during Christmas..) and another very obvious lack of Christmas text messages that everyone receives.
If you want the longer version here is what happened: The winter of 2014 started with some bad marks at school, which of course drove my mum nuts. Just so I don't make this longer, there was a lot of yelling, a lot of shouting, a lot of verbal abuse to make me feel like the last shit on this planet we know. Then my grandmother died and that made me cry like a pathetic loser in my pillow, being sorry for not spending more time with her *whimpers*. Then, moving on, Christmas came, no yelling from my parents because of bad marks because I struggled not to have any, but my mum made a "nice" scene stating all my fails at the Christmas dinner with the whole family (nice one mum, nice one...) embarrassing me in front of everyone... Then New Year came and I expected stuff to go up, but it remained stationary let's say. At the present moment things aren't going well either. Incidents with my parents just because I expressed one wish I had, to save up money (my money) for a console. I never had one and after seeing some next generation video games running on a PS3 (which is what I wanted o buy) I thought I could use one too since now they are A LOT cheaper than they used to be, but of course I had only made my parents hit the roof with this wish of mine. Currently trying to get myself out of the darkness that I involuntarily entered by visiting a psychologist on a regular basis and I hope she will be able to at least ameliorate my state because I can't go like this any longer..
Wondering how people would react if on my FA was stated clearly 'DECEASED' ? That isn't good for sure, not to mention the fact that once I've encountered something bad I just started shouting 'Give me a knife! I want to end my sorry life!' but just ended up crying a lot until headaches soon appeared, affecting my sleep as well, and yeah, that's how much of a coward I am, not being able to do something like putting an end to my life *sigh* Not to mention the fact that some people recently (not going to give names because I'm not that much of a bastard) have recently become my 'enemies' after not letting me express my opinion several times in a row, and after I saw how much of a weird kind of thinking they are into. Seriously, supporting projects that are like the Holocaust is very racist and they should feel at least ashamed.
Either way, I've already wasted too much of your precious time so I will end the journal here.
VENT JOURNAL - DO NOT READ IF YOU DON'T WANT TO (nobody is forcing you..)
If you want the longer version here is what happened: The winter of 2014 started with some bad marks at school, which of course drove my mum nuts. Just so I don't make this longer, there was a lot of yelling, a lot of shouting, a lot of verbal abuse to make me feel like the last shit on this planet we know. Then my grandmother died and that made me cry like a pathetic loser in my pillow, being sorry for not spending more time with her *whimpers*. Then, moving on, Christmas came, no yelling from my parents because of bad marks because I struggled not to have any, but my mum made a "nice" scene stating all my fails at the Christmas dinner with the whole family (nice one mum, nice one...) embarrassing me in front of everyone... Then New Year came and I expected stuff to go up, but it remained stationary let's say. At the present moment things aren't going well either. Incidents with my parents just because I expressed one wish I had, to save up money (my money) for a console. I never had one and after seeing some next generation video games running on a PS3 (which is what I wanted o buy) I thought I could use one too since now they are A LOT cheaper than they used to be, but of course I had only made my parents hit the roof with this wish of mine. Currently trying to get myself out of the darkness that I involuntarily entered by visiting a psychologist on a regular basis and I hope she will be able to at least ameliorate my state because I can't go like this any longer..
Wondering how people would react if on my FA was stated clearly 'DECEASED' ? That isn't good for sure, not to mention the fact that once I've encountered something bad I just started shouting 'Give me a knife! I want to end my sorry life!' but just ended up crying a lot until headaches soon appeared, affecting my sleep as well, and yeah, that's how much of a coward I am, not being able to do something like putting an end to my life *sigh* Not to mention the fact that some people recently (not going to give names because I'm not that much of a bastard) have recently become my 'enemies' after not letting me express my opinion several times in a row, and after I saw how much of a weird kind of thinking they are into. Seriously, supporting projects that are like the Holocaust is very racist and they should feel at least ashamed.
Either way, I've already wasted too much of your precious time so I will end the journal here.
VENT JOURNAL - DO NOT READ IF YOU DON'T WANT TO (nobody is forcing you..)
