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Dealing With Desire
11 years ago
Heya guys.. I just need to vent a little today.. this might be a little rambly and not overly structured but I need to reach out to people who arent in my inner circle.
So I'm 26, I still live with folks of which hate the fact I'm a fur and have desires to be a female. I am a dragon fur and love transformation and lots of things probably noted through my FA commissions.
However what I wanna talk about today is the fact that lately as of the past year in particular I have been very badly wanting to become a bird. A full blooded feathered avian, of most noteworthy a chocobo from the Final Fantasy series.
I want to bring this up because it's really become more of a problem than I've ever felt before, I think about it constantly daydreaming, writing or roleplaying with friends who are in the mood. But recently the rps have been dieing down and even the mention of a "hey birdie" in Skype is enough to turn my stomach into a knot and the lustful grip to take over my mind with hazed thoughts and whimpering..
Even at work I'm having constant arousal and hardons thinking about it.. On Final Fantasy 14 I care for all the FC's chocobos, wear my newly aquired chocobosuit with my hair recolored to yellow and brown with a chocobo tattoo, my room has chocobo walls and flooring and I call Jaeger my own bird my baby. Does this qualify as an obsession? I'm just not sure what to do to sate these wants, they've gotten so bad it's all I can say I want or speak about sometimes.
So my question to you guys.. what should I do? What can I do? Art can certainly help sate some of it, as can roleplay, but god damn..I want to be a bird.. what do you guys do when your lust and desire for something becomes too strong to contain? Do you have the same problems I do? Or is it just because my imagination is too vivid that I am able to picture the entirety of a transformation, to get a beak, feel feathers fluffing in under my clothes.. and the life I would live and how I'd feel in my mind?
That's all.. thank you for reading, if you think I'm nuts then I will accept that but I just needed to vent a little bit..sorry. (end)
P.S. I have wanted a fursuit, but my living conditions and monetary reasons prevent that. Also I can write but I'm only just starting to draw again, investing in a tablet and trying to find a means for anatomy practice.
So I'm 26, I still live with folks of which hate the fact I'm a fur and have desires to be a female. I am a dragon fur and love transformation and lots of things probably noted through my FA commissions.
However what I wanna talk about today is the fact that lately as of the past year in particular I have been very badly wanting to become a bird. A full blooded feathered avian, of most noteworthy a chocobo from the Final Fantasy series.
I want to bring this up because it's really become more of a problem than I've ever felt before, I think about it constantly daydreaming, writing or roleplaying with friends who are in the mood. But recently the rps have been dieing down and even the mention of a "hey birdie" in Skype is enough to turn my stomach into a knot and the lustful grip to take over my mind with hazed thoughts and whimpering..
Even at work I'm having constant arousal and hardons thinking about it.. On Final Fantasy 14 I care for all the FC's chocobos, wear my newly aquired chocobosuit with my hair recolored to yellow and brown with a chocobo tattoo, my room has chocobo walls and flooring and I call Jaeger my own bird my baby. Does this qualify as an obsession? I'm just not sure what to do to sate these wants, they've gotten so bad it's all I can say I want or speak about sometimes.
So my question to you guys.. what should I do? What can I do? Art can certainly help sate some of it, as can roleplay, but god damn..I want to be a bird.. what do you guys do when your lust and desire for something becomes too strong to contain? Do you have the same problems I do? Or is it just because my imagination is too vivid that I am able to picture the entirety of a transformation, to get a beak, feel feathers fluffing in under my clothes.. and the life I would live and how I'd feel in my mind?
That's all.. thank you for reading, if you think I'm nuts then I will accept that but I just needed to vent a little bit..sorry. (end)
P.S. I have wanted a fursuit, but my living conditions and monetary reasons prevent that. Also I can write but I'm only just starting to draw again, investing in a tablet and trying to find a means for anatomy practice.
You know I've always wanted to be my little dragon self so dearly for many, many years.. think it's been over a decade now.
I do know though that your desire shifts around. You've had other previous intense desires that jumped from thing to thing over the years. I would think you'd fall into the problem of that once you get what you desire (be it a chocobo fursuit or whatever else), your desire will in short time jump to a different desire. I know of 5 major desires you've had thus far.
All I can suggest is exploring the desire in sensible amounts at a time. Not binge on it. You can role play it be it plain chat RP or something more structured, write about it, draw if you can, and so forth. Just don't pour all your time and money into it and make other factors of your life mundane and unpleasant. Your whole life needs your attention, not just one aspect, even if it's a large one.