Does anyone even read these? maybe I should ...also actually reply when I can

I'll just get the comission part out of the way first, some mild swearing ahead.

I've wanted to try and build my art abilities more and then start to consider being up for doing comissions, but it seems like I'm stuck in a feedback loop and I may as well take a risk to do something different less I continue to fall deeper into a hole.

I'll be upfront, I'm still FAR from being decent with drawing humans/anthros, it dosen't help that while a fellow artist meant well with his words, I'm frankly just not confident enough to try...and rebuilding that confdience will take some time.

I know that cars, espeically on FA is a niche to say the fucking least, but it's what I can do apart from backgrounds. I will be giving an overview of what I can do, via a demostration piece that I hope to post sooner than later, but we'll see.

It hinges a lot on if people are even remotely intrested or not, of course it helps to be a bit more active online. But given my state of mind and how I've been, and past conversations, I've been heavily discouraged to try

But I might try none the less.

We'll see...

I want to note that I haven't forgotten about the art trades I owe others, ...I'm trying to get to it but it's been taking so fucking long, and I feel like an asshole as such...sure life is in the way but that whole 'nothing is an excuse including DEATH' is a mentality I can't quite shake much as it pisses me off at the same time.

...I'm doing what I can even if I'm wanting to break skulls every step of the way.

I was going to post a ranting journal, but who's going to actually read that?

I'll just put a quick summary to say, I'm still depressed, bitter, and angry, try as I may to do what I can. But a constant series of setbacks and reminders about how easy it is for things to go wrong, regardless of what precautions I take, has left me at times wondering why I even fucking try...

"momma told me there be days like this but I'm PISSED, cause it stays like this!' - Tu pac, 'I don't give a fuck'