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What Same-Sex Cuddling Means to Me
11 years ago
General
In the last few years, I've gone back on forth on my stance on "cuddle buddies" (or "friends with benefits"). At times, I thought I was being really selfish in seeking cuddle buddies -- especially since as I already have a mate. But he and I both agreed with each other a long time ago that we are okay with cuddling with others. Polyamory (having multiple mates), on the other hand, is something my mate does NOT agree to. And in the last year, I started wondering if maybe I was "taunting" other guys by cuddling with them but not allowing them to become my "2nd boyfriend."
But in the end, I keep circling back to what I believe is a fair and just policy when it comes to cuddling and sex with friends: As MEN, we tend to have higher sex drives, and as Male-Male sex goes, there is no risk for child birth. And as HUMAN BEINGS (or, at least humans with an affinity towards animal spirits), many of us have a desire for warmth, closeness, and comfort. So, therefore, I believe that hugs, cuddling, and even safe sex can be fun recreational activities that we should be able to experience - even if just once in a while with a good friend.
There is a limit, however - I do believe that there exists a certain level of INTIMACY that should be reserved for those who are only in a relationship. In my opinion, things like super-deep kissing, anal, eye-staring, bondage, torture, etc might be better saved for those who are VERY close. I sorta see the levels of intimacy on a scale, like this:
--- Low intimacy ---
1.) chatting, going to dinner, watching TV, playing video games, all the classic "friend" stuff
2.) hugs, holding hands
3.) cuddling, with clothes on
4.) cuddling with clothes off, vanilla stuff like touching, oral, kissing, masturbating, etc
5.) anal, deep kissing, bondage, torture, raunchy stuff
--- High intimacy ---
Now, this also doesn't mean that I advocate going out and having sex with any guy you know! There still needs to be a desire to engage in this kind of activity from both guys involved. Not everybody has the same level of libido. In fact, I've known some guys who would love to cuddle just to cuddle, and not take it into X-rated territory. That's okay! Take it slow, understand your friends and what they are comfortable with, and don't be afraid to have fun! :)
But in the end, I keep circling back to what I believe is a fair and just policy when it comes to cuddling and sex with friends: As MEN, we tend to have higher sex drives, and as Male-Male sex goes, there is no risk for child birth. And as HUMAN BEINGS (or, at least humans with an affinity towards animal spirits), many of us have a desire for warmth, closeness, and comfort. So, therefore, I believe that hugs, cuddling, and even safe sex can be fun recreational activities that we should be able to experience - even if just once in a while with a good friend.
There is a limit, however - I do believe that there exists a certain level of INTIMACY that should be reserved for those who are only in a relationship. In my opinion, things like super-deep kissing, anal, eye-staring, bondage, torture, etc might be better saved for those who are VERY close. I sorta see the levels of intimacy on a scale, like this:
--- Low intimacy ---
1.) chatting, going to dinner, watching TV, playing video games, all the classic "friend" stuff
2.) hugs, holding hands
3.) cuddling, with clothes on
4.) cuddling with clothes off, vanilla stuff like touching, oral, kissing, masturbating, etc
5.) anal, deep kissing, bondage, torture, raunchy stuff
--- High intimacy ---
Now, this also doesn't mean that I advocate going out and having sex with any guy you know! There still needs to be a desire to engage in this kind of activity from both guys involved. Not everybody has the same level of libido. In fact, I've known some guys who would love to cuddle just to cuddle, and not take it into X-rated territory. That's okay! Take it slow, understand your friends and what they are comfortable with, and don't be afraid to have fun! :)
