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Ayn BlackFox Reviews: Ted
11 years ago
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I am Ayn BlackFox: Storyteller
Ayn BlackFox Reviews: Ted
A “Furry’s Dream Come True” or just the wishes of lonely boys?
There is something strange about movies that make me praise myself for not signing my soul away to production companies but remaining and freelance writers who just knows how to tell a good a story. It’s sad to see that see good stories go down the drain because Hollywood wants to make the next biggest movie but become shrouded in their own mist, blinding the path of a good movie and falling down in the eternal pit of “never going to watch that again”. So after having a rather odd night, I searched through a friend’s DVD collection searching for the ever so needed brain entertainment as I was satisfied by the trade story I finished and came across the movie Ted. Now I’ve seen the trailer and heard a few things here and there but I’ve never got around to watch it until recently so I fed my curiosity…at least I hoped.
Other than Seth McFarlane, this movie was strung with a cast of actors I had not previously heard of so I could not make a wrap on their possible performances and want to keep this as un-biased as possible. Not as bad as the cast from Metal Tornado but it was close shaving with this crew even if it means leaving a few hairs untouched.
“Ted” starts off at some point in the 80s with a rather standard American family with two parents with a single child. However some early violence here made the move lose 5 points for making a rather radical joke on those of the Jewish faith but didn’t get lost its twisted humor as the younger aged protagonist, in this case 8 years old, makes his first appearance. The lonely boy who was just never accepted by peers, oh how it sounds likes a good number of youth still to this day. Worse for this young guy is that it’s Christmas where joy and cheer are suppose to be that be the main emotions but sadness and loneliness are the choice here. Things cheer up some when the boy opens his Christmas gift and get the rather large stuffed bed he’s dreamed off.
With an unchanged expression, I watch this movie progress as the boy makes his wish that his ever so awesome teddy bear would actually talk and be his best friend forever. Like most movies, a shooting star streaks across the sky like a naked runner at the Super Bowl. Morning comes and the boy finds that his teddy his missing. Me, I start to think, oh ha ha movie good joke but it comes back with the new living teddy bear but with a voice that would want to make me punch it face but remembering that it was geared for an 8 year old, I had to hold my plush doll punching for later.
A couple of sequences showing the boy slowly maturing a long side his new furry friend for life but I think, wait how does this work? How did the material not degrade over time? How is it possible that he went through high school and college without a battle scar or even a good story? Where’s the conflict except for this guy’s apparent very obvious social oddity of not having friends but this living stuffed animal? Then he grows up and gets a job and Ted is there like a shadow never leaving his friend’s side. Smoking pot and drinking beer like it’s college all over again, oh joy!
I have to hand it Seth McFarlane as various voices from family guy make not so subtle appearance which was charming. To me, it seemed like the creator/screenplay writer wanted you focus on Ted and not the main character though it seems like Ted is more an accessory to the protagonist by causing him to do some outrageous things just to get out of work and come smoke with him.
Then the love interest makes her appearance and I thought: “oooh, here comes the conflict, man’s best friend is a talking plushie and here comes the trouble”. My hopes where crushed when it didn’t work that way. It’s getting stoned at a public to truly introduce conflict when a guy and his son decide they are interesting in taking a 27 year old teddy bear from our main guy even offered insane amounts of compensation for Ted but were promptly turned down.
Now this is where I got a little more interested, my dull expression changed as I was hoping to see some shady plotting, back alley dealing all trying to get their hands on Ted. However like “Metal Tornado” I was not treated to horror of trying to protect a treasured belonging from nasty plots of “How to steal a stuffed bear”.
The movie hangs on by flopping between the good/bad relationship conflict which worked for the most part but started to get old really quick. I basically started a timer and just took off points for every minute it continued. The two antagonists appear again and actually get their hands on Ted, which had me thinking: “That was just too easy”!
A couple of frantic driving scenes which were paying homage to the 80s where OK at best but could have worked a little better. Cars that magically repair themselves after being converted to one size down from what it was suppose to be. One scene of risky stunt climbing but the movie didn’t get me to change expression anymore. What was supposed to be a sad, tear making scene didn’t quite work to help lift the soon to be negative score that looming over it like a storm cloud.
Overall the movie was good, not as funny as it was cragged up to be but still general good. Could have done more to show more conflict but was a complete let down. As mentioned at top of this review would this be “Furry’s dream come true” or just “the wishes of lonely people”? I doubt it would be the first part of so the ladder portion would suffice. If it was geared for the desperately lonely showing it’s hard to let go of something didn’t make you feel so lonely then it did do a great job there. So in all fairness Ted gets 80 out of 100 as it’s score.
A “Furry’s Dream Come True” or just the wishes of lonely boys?
There is something strange about movies that make me praise myself for not signing my soul away to production companies but remaining and freelance writers who just knows how to tell a good a story. It’s sad to see that see good stories go down the drain because Hollywood wants to make the next biggest movie but become shrouded in their own mist, blinding the path of a good movie and falling down in the eternal pit of “never going to watch that again”. So after having a rather odd night, I searched through a friend’s DVD collection searching for the ever so needed brain entertainment as I was satisfied by the trade story I finished and came across the movie Ted. Now I’ve seen the trailer and heard a few things here and there but I’ve never got around to watch it until recently so I fed my curiosity…at least I hoped.
Other than Seth McFarlane, this movie was strung with a cast of actors I had not previously heard of so I could not make a wrap on their possible performances and want to keep this as un-biased as possible. Not as bad as the cast from Metal Tornado but it was close shaving with this crew even if it means leaving a few hairs untouched.
“Ted” starts off at some point in the 80s with a rather standard American family with two parents with a single child. However some early violence here made the move lose 5 points for making a rather radical joke on those of the Jewish faith but didn’t get lost its twisted humor as the younger aged protagonist, in this case 8 years old, makes his first appearance. The lonely boy who was just never accepted by peers, oh how it sounds likes a good number of youth still to this day. Worse for this young guy is that it’s Christmas where joy and cheer are suppose to be that be the main emotions but sadness and loneliness are the choice here. Things cheer up some when the boy opens his Christmas gift and get the rather large stuffed bed he’s dreamed off.
With an unchanged expression, I watch this movie progress as the boy makes his wish that his ever so awesome teddy bear would actually talk and be his best friend forever. Like most movies, a shooting star streaks across the sky like a naked runner at the Super Bowl. Morning comes and the boy finds that his teddy his missing. Me, I start to think, oh ha ha movie good joke but it comes back with the new living teddy bear but with a voice that would want to make me punch it face but remembering that it was geared for an 8 year old, I had to hold my plush doll punching for later.
A couple of sequences showing the boy slowly maturing a long side his new furry friend for life but I think, wait how does this work? How did the material not degrade over time? How is it possible that he went through high school and college without a battle scar or even a good story? Where’s the conflict except for this guy’s apparent very obvious social oddity of not having friends but this living stuffed animal? Then he grows up and gets a job and Ted is there like a shadow never leaving his friend’s side. Smoking pot and drinking beer like it’s college all over again, oh joy!
I have to hand it Seth McFarlane as various voices from family guy make not so subtle appearance which was charming. To me, it seemed like the creator/screenplay writer wanted you focus on Ted and not the main character though it seems like Ted is more an accessory to the protagonist by causing him to do some outrageous things just to get out of work and come smoke with him.
Then the love interest makes her appearance and I thought: “oooh, here comes the conflict, man’s best friend is a talking plushie and here comes the trouble”. My hopes where crushed when it didn’t work that way. It’s getting stoned at a public to truly introduce conflict when a guy and his son decide they are interesting in taking a 27 year old teddy bear from our main guy even offered insane amounts of compensation for Ted but were promptly turned down.
Now this is where I got a little more interested, my dull expression changed as I was hoping to see some shady plotting, back alley dealing all trying to get their hands on Ted. However like “Metal Tornado” I was not treated to horror of trying to protect a treasured belonging from nasty plots of “How to steal a stuffed bear”.
The movie hangs on by flopping between the good/bad relationship conflict which worked for the most part but started to get old really quick. I basically started a timer and just took off points for every minute it continued. The two antagonists appear again and actually get their hands on Ted, which had me thinking: “That was just too easy”!
A couple of frantic driving scenes which were paying homage to the 80s where OK at best but could have worked a little better. Cars that magically repair themselves after being converted to one size down from what it was suppose to be. One scene of risky stunt climbing but the movie didn’t get me to change expression anymore. What was supposed to be a sad, tear making scene didn’t quite work to help lift the soon to be negative score that looming over it like a storm cloud.
Overall the movie was good, not as funny as it was cragged up to be but still general good. Could have done more to show more conflict but was a complete let down. As mentioned at top of this review would this be “Furry’s dream come true” or just “the wishes of lonely people”? I doubt it would be the first part of so the ladder portion would suffice. If it was geared for the desperately lonely showing it’s hard to let go of something didn’t make you feel so lonely then it did do a great job there. So in all fairness Ted gets 80 out of 100 as it’s score.
...Wow, I didn't know You were a movie buff like Me lol Me and this movie? I thought it was pretty good, albeit the lame flashes of 80's nolstalgia here and there.
[NO PUN INTENTED]
As for the conflict itself, I saw nothing more than a disheartening voyage of a desperate man trying to clutch onto what remainder of childhood he had left... until, as You said, the love interest tries to pry it away.
Oh, Ted was a solid comedy, don't get Me wrong! There were parts that had EVEN ME holding My side in gut wrenching laughter! But personally, I BELIEVE movies like these are meant to be watched TWICE; sober, and stoned!
(Like Basecetball, Half-Baked, Super Troopers, etc.)
I gave Ted a 3.5 of 5, mainly for it's plotline. The writing? Eh, it could have been executed better... but hey, it's Seth McFarlane We're talking about here! Hehe
Ted was good but the small things like some cheesy writing and poor conflicting moments are what dragged it down. Yea I compared it to Metal Tornado but that movie set the bar that borders good and bad movies. Ted just happen to stay on the good side and not border line.