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CAN YOU FEEL IT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN?!
11 years ago
General
I have no idea why I made that title the way it is. D:
Okay update time! Y'alls are probably wondering why I haven't drawn anything new recently so I thought I'd hit you up on here. Warning this is a vent journal! Sorry to clog you up with it buuut I kinda need to get this out there. So my battle with anxiety and OCD still rages on today but more recently I've been effected by another part of it which usually happens around this time and that's the bouts of depression, ladies and gentlemen, the magic word of PAAIINN. DB<
It sucks and it's horrible and it plagues the mind. Makes me feel like I'm doing nothing, pleasing no one and thinking that everything I'm doing to friends family and all loved ones suck and I may as well not get up in the morning any more because I cant' draw things I want to or play games or I'm silent way too much but I don't want people to think I'm ignoring them ARGHH.
You know here's a video I linked on tumblr a long while ago the the main point of it all still stands.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUHcc7ipGt0
Things have been going south ever since I got a new job in that lab, so naturally I want to leave, but the money is still something I need. And the fact that everyone was so proud of me for getting a job working at an analytical lab, I feel like a failure for not liking my place there. Hating the people I work with. Missing my free time since I invest so much into it which ultimately is so little.
One thing I hate more than anything else is letting someone down. And lately that's all I feel like I've been doing.
Things will be better soon, it's just a bad moment. But getting it out there and at least letting you all know is better than keeping it inside like I did last year.
Good thing about all of this is that I have been talking it out with my family and my brother is hoping to get me working with him which will be fantastic. But for now I need to focus on getting better.
Thanks for taking your time to read this guys. I love y'alls.
- Kon
Okay update time! Y'alls are probably wondering why I haven't drawn anything new recently so I thought I'd hit you up on here. Warning this is a vent journal! Sorry to clog you up with it buuut I kinda need to get this out there. So my battle with anxiety and OCD still rages on today but more recently I've been effected by another part of it which usually happens around this time and that's the bouts of depression, ladies and gentlemen, the magic word of PAAIINN. DB<
It sucks and it's horrible and it plagues the mind. Makes me feel like I'm doing nothing, pleasing no one and thinking that everything I'm doing to friends family and all loved ones suck and I may as well not get up in the morning any more because I cant' draw things I want to or play games or I'm silent way too much but I don't want people to think I'm ignoring them ARGHH.
You know here's a video I linked on tumblr a long while ago the the main point of it all still stands.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUHcc7ipGt0
Things have been going south ever since I got a new job in that lab, so naturally I want to leave, but the money is still something I need. And the fact that everyone was so proud of me for getting a job working at an analytical lab, I feel like a failure for not liking my place there. Hating the people I work with. Missing my free time since I invest so much into it which ultimately is so little.
One thing I hate more than anything else is letting someone down. And lately that's all I feel like I've been doing.
Things will be better soon, it's just a bad moment. But getting it out there and at least letting you all know is better than keeping it inside like I did last year.
Good thing about all of this is that I have been talking it out with my family and my brother is hoping to get me working with him which will be fantastic. But for now I need to focus on getting better.
Thanks for taking your time to read this guys. I love y'alls.
- Kon
Love you!