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this is going to be a a serious journal
10 years ago
dont want no part in it then keep moving
i was woken up out a dead sleep by this thought ... well it be more accurate to say it was a question... three
1 why do you do what you
2why do you still do it
3 and dose it make you happy
iv the dont have the slightest clue as to how i even how / why it even pop in my head and now oddly , i cant seem to circumvent this loop in my mind due to the fact i am not proud of the answers to those questions,
truth of the matter is
i am ashamed of my prowess as a writer, me being a writer was just a proxy for me... the realty that iv no defining skill and or traits in RL , but i had a knack for the art ...but over time iv grown to fucking loathe it. paradoxically , i DO happen to have an attachment to making my own story and making my one worlds as hilariously absurd that may sound due to my prior statement, iv tried to gain some other skills , wanted to try martial arts, but iv had a long thought about it and knew theirs no way in holy hell that i am going to go thorough with it , i knew this for a fact primarily because i loathe sports or any thing remotely associated also when i tried to force my self to do it i had .......... side effects ( note me if you are really curious) and let leave it the hell at that ,so this was it and now i find my self asking , why am i still doing this ,am i doing it because i like having my own world to make and do fuck all with ... or is it due to me not having any thing better to offer. a strange contradiction ...
segwaying off of that ,
despite me making some few shining stars of bros and friends, but the furry verse is not place of growing , at least not for me
NO I AM NOT LEAVING but this site is a good place to seek people with common interest as you but as for your personal growth as a person!?... this is not the site to be , and then theirs the question i always ask my self ' when you are forcing your self to do something is it really worth it and are you really hurting your self doing it '
iv no answer for that ... ok that enough later ( im sleepy as fuck so say nothing about the errors )
i was woken up out a dead sleep by this thought ... well it be more accurate to say it was a question... three
1 why do you do what you
2why do you still do it
3 and dose it make you happy
iv the dont have the slightest clue as to how i even how / why it even pop in my head and now oddly , i cant seem to circumvent this loop in my mind due to the fact i am not proud of the answers to those questions,
truth of the matter is
i am ashamed of my prowess as a writer, me being a writer was just a proxy for me... the realty that iv no defining skill and or traits in RL , but i had a knack for the art ...but over time iv grown to fucking loathe it. paradoxically , i DO happen to have an attachment to making my own story and making my one worlds as hilariously absurd that may sound due to my prior statement, iv tried to gain some other skills , wanted to try martial arts, but iv had a long thought about it and knew theirs no way in holy hell that i am going to go thorough with it , i knew this for a fact primarily because i loathe sports or any thing remotely associated also when i tried to force my self to do it i had .......... side effects ( note me if you are really curious) and let leave it the hell at that ,so this was it and now i find my self asking , why am i still doing this ,am i doing it because i like having my own world to make and do fuck all with ... or is it due to me not having any thing better to offer. a strange contradiction ...
segwaying off of that ,
despite me making some few shining stars of bros and friends, but the furry verse is not place of growing , at least not for me
NO I AM NOT LEAVING but this site is a good place to seek people with common interest as you but as for your personal growth as a person!?... this is not the site to be , and then theirs the question i always ask my self ' when you are forcing your self to do something is it really worth it and are you really hurting your self doing it '
iv no answer for that ... ok that enough later ( im sleepy as fuck so say nothing about the errors )
Basically, is there more we can try...I think.
As for me, I guess it's to kinda add something different to the mix, if that makes sense. Partially why I chose for Wolf to be human, and somewhat make him represent the rl me, and in Wolf's words, the Japanese 4 cylinder struggles with the American V8s power, the whole "making those Japanese motors wish they were never assembled" BS. Mostly. As Wolf and I are 'O Conners'. Just giving a different flavor, to sum it up in short.
just so i am clear