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Disapointment
11 years ago
Glimpse The Thoughts of Jack the Beaver
Today my wonderful friend 
vrraven informed me he would be unable to pay for a room for AC, so my hopes of going this year died. Which means yes I will again be furry convention free this year. Wonderful.
I'm sad for him because of how much he enjoys it. But (and I know this is selfish) I'm just disappointed that it happened. I'd been looking foreword to this since...well July of 2014 and now it's off. And I can't afford to pay for myself. (sighs).
This week has been a bad week. I've been getting over the worst sinus infection I've ever had and today as I found out AC was out for me, I found out my brother signed the lease on an apartment. That my parents will pay for for him. It's been a rough day.
Now I ask, what can I do? Answer is find a better job, not that it'll get me to AC this year but at least I could afford to live on my own and maybe get somewhere next year. I hate living in North Carolina. I hate living isolated from all of my friends in the land of white lightning, white snake and white trash.
I just want to quit being left out. But that takes money, of which I have to little, and time, of which I have none. Instead do what I always do, I'll push foreword a little more. I'll keep hoping because if I lose hope then I really will have nothing. But I'm so tired of this.
My life is a series of disappointments. Of things I want and can just never quite get. No one can help me but me and I don't know how long I can hold on.
I'll keep going because I have to hope things get better. Even when I want to just break down and cry I have to hope things will be better.
I have a quote on this, which I will share. It comes from my friend, St. Francis de Sales: "If God intends you to face some difficulties, you must receive them from His hand -the hand you have taken hold of - and you must not let go of Him until He has brought you to the point of your perfection. You will see that God's providence will accomplish all things according to your intentions, provided they be entirely in conformity with His." May God's will be done at least. May I find some comfort.
vrraven informed me he would be unable to pay for a room for AC, so my hopes of going this year died. Which means yes I will again be furry convention free this year. Wonderful.I'm sad for him because of how much he enjoys it. But (and I know this is selfish) I'm just disappointed that it happened. I'd been looking foreword to this since...well July of 2014 and now it's off. And I can't afford to pay for myself. (sighs).
This week has been a bad week. I've been getting over the worst sinus infection I've ever had and today as I found out AC was out for me, I found out my brother signed the lease on an apartment. That my parents will pay for for him. It's been a rough day.
Now I ask, what can I do? Answer is find a better job, not that it'll get me to AC this year but at least I could afford to live on my own and maybe get somewhere next year. I hate living in North Carolina. I hate living isolated from all of my friends in the land of white lightning, white snake and white trash.
I just want to quit being left out. But that takes money, of which I have to little, and time, of which I have none. Instead do what I always do, I'll push foreword a little more. I'll keep hoping because if I lose hope then I really will have nothing. But I'm so tired of this.
My life is a series of disappointments. Of things I want and can just never quite get. No one can help me but me and I don't know how long I can hold on.
I'll keep going because I have to hope things get better. Even when I want to just break down and cry I have to hope things will be better.
I have a quote on this, which I will share. It comes from my friend, St. Francis de Sales: "If God intends you to face some difficulties, you must receive them from His hand -the hand you have taken hold of - and you must not let go of Him until He has brought you to the point of your perfection. You will see that God's providence will accomplish all things according to your intentions, provided they be entirely in conformity with His." May God's will be done at least. May I find some comfort.
Dominus tecum
But, why not try FWA, it's Way less expensive, and still loads of fun. AC is like The most expensive furry con. And a lot closer, and you'll know a ton of people there. Just a thought.