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Way to start a year =.=
11 years ago
what better way to start a tuesday off than updating everyone here of whats revolving around my world.
So as of this new year, i have been getting my ups and downs. I think this is a lot tougher now than any other year, and not counting the upcoming holiday. So i went to see my editor for the school paper to ask if she has at all seen my emails and turns out she has, just didnt want to reply or anything. Turns out my art isnt needed, which means i am not needed, and she has 2 artists giving a lot of comics. Which i like to correct that for her, she is only publishing ONE artist's comic for the past month of janurary. I do feel a bit shunned, but i'm a bio major in a room full of journalism majors. So common sense and courtesy isnt really strong in their field. Doesnt help the fact that all other journalist majors think that the paper i work for are redundant and lacking interest.
Aside from that, i tried to push more into doing more work at my internship. I was trying to get paid to do work and stuff, but 3 more people jumped in the wagon and it became a competition to see who did the work better. With my newly vast knowledge of plants, work experience, and the likes....i lost the job. I think mostly because of coming in a bit late, having small very little hours, and not doing well at a tour. Even though no one told me or taught me of how the florida aquaducts are and i was the first. He gave the other 2 easier ones to talk about and i was stuck as a guinea pig.
So with no job at all, the money troubles begin. I was recently in debt and paid it off, now surviving with little money on my bank. I don't know what my tax break will be because i have yet to receive any. im going to think my family is the one that uses that...yay...
Valentine's day is coming and the saddest thing for me is that my family hates my girlfriend. to be more accurate, they hate her, her mother and father, her sister, her family, my best friend living there and helped host their second visit, all of her friends, and any other person around her. period. They have been telling me to break off with her, i should fine a closer girl to "have fun with". The trouble with that idea is that they have forgotten the events that led to me being alive today. My biological father, who most do not know about me that i had a really abusive "sperm doner" that not only married my mother, but several others back to back. I wouldnt be suprised if he was married to more than one during the time. So i dont like the whole dating 50+ people at once. I usually stick with one person to date with. If it doesnt work out? move on, i've already went through the "true love lose" paradox. True love lose paradox is when you find the love of your life and you plan everything for that person. marriage, kids etc. And all of a sudden you break off, the biggest depression kicks in because you put so much hope for a fairy tale ending and now all you can think of is jumping off a tall place because you will never find another. Yes i did have a few of those moments in my youth, now i have a simple plan for a relationship, find someone who can be a companion, a partner in crime. so far i've found someone who is that and loves me the same as i love them. And my family just doesnt want it cause they love to judge their books by the cover. So any further trips to see her would be denied. I kinda find it funny that my aunt, a second mother, is willing to dis-own me if i am still talking with her. the more i live under my family's rule, the more bitter i grow around them. They can offer me treasures, momentary love, and one sided advice.. but they can never give me what beats all those combined: a life to live and happiness. My lack of trust for people, anxiety, paranoia, all these thing that make me isolate myself from others was learned from them. Its what i used to survive under their house. I've hurt people before for the stupidest reasons, and i cant go back to fix them. Yet they also never knew my family to understand. The close friends i have, who know spanish and can understand what my family say, are now figuring out that my family is twisted. Its a huge burden and if i do take a risk, i need to be ready for the consequences.
Hopefully to brighten the atmosphere from that long rant, i went to court last week because they messed up my name change papers. So we went and funny enough the judge was a cool guy. He actually asked us why we were even in court to fix this if we could have called, i had a crummy lawyer at the time. SO officially now i am named by what my name is to those who i commission and send money to. I also don't plan on changing my name at all and would advise to think three times before considering. Atleast here in florida its 400$ or so to go through the process.
I have recently started in a new style of drawing, mainly to catch attention and just a change of pace. I may think of doing another comic for this style just to branch out for the time being. I should also mention that the reason why my comics never end or are unfinished is because its all unscripted. I do not write them in advance, it is all drawn from thought and straight to paper. But once i lose the flow it stops at an instant. The one comic i promised for halloween is still not done, but i might need to re-do it now digitally. So in due time all will go back in the flow.
As to the new style, i am working of something called Kawaii Drawings. If i explained what it means, we would need another journal for this. But as a summary of what it is, think of super simple hello kitty like chibis. flat color with flat shadings, ribbons everywhere, and an outbreak of diabites everywhere. i will post them soon enough. And the best part i figured a price for them. For 5$ you can have your own made from a template design, the template is just a faster way for me to draw it. 10$ and you get it in a different pose and everything, making it more unique and alive.
Hopefully i can send gifts to my gf for this week, otherwise i will feel really bad not to. And that is all the things that have happened so far within a month =.=
its a lot to handle and i just need to move forward. Even though i am very quiet on the mic, i do enjoy lingering around with friends. So to all my friends, i am sending all the hugs. and to those going through trouble as well, keep pushing forward. everything goes well when you keep moving forward.
tl;dnr : A lot of drama and ranting, my family are horrible people, sending love to all.
So as of this new year, i have been getting my ups and downs. I think this is a lot tougher now than any other year, and not counting the upcoming holiday. So i went to see my editor for the school paper to ask if she has at all seen my emails and turns out she has, just didnt want to reply or anything. Turns out my art isnt needed, which means i am not needed, and she has 2 artists giving a lot of comics. Which i like to correct that for her, she is only publishing ONE artist's comic for the past month of janurary. I do feel a bit shunned, but i'm a bio major in a room full of journalism majors. So common sense and courtesy isnt really strong in their field. Doesnt help the fact that all other journalist majors think that the paper i work for are redundant and lacking interest.
Aside from that, i tried to push more into doing more work at my internship. I was trying to get paid to do work and stuff, but 3 more people jumped in the wagon and it became a competition to see who did the work better. With my newly vast knowledge of plants, work experience, and the likes....i lost the job. I think mostly because of coming in a bit late, having small very little hours, and not doing well at a tour. Even though no one told me or taught me of how the florida aquaducts are and i was the first. He gave the other 2 easier ones to talk about and i was stuck as a guinea pig.
So with no job at all, the money troubles begin. I was recently in debt and paid it off, now surviving with little money on my bank. I don't know what my tax break will be because i have yet to receive any. im going to think my family is the one that uses that...yay...
Valentine's day is coming and the saddest thing for me is that my family hates my girlfriend. to be more accurate, they hate her, her mother and father, her sister, her family, my best friend living there and helped host their second visit, all of her friends, and any other person around her. period. They have been telling me to break off with her, i should fine a closer girl to "have fun with". The trouble with that idea is that they have forgotten the events that led to me being alive today. My biological father, who most do not know about me that i had a really abusive "sperm doner" that not only married my mother, but several others back to back. I wouldnt be suprised if he was married to more than one during the time. So i dont like the whole dating 50+ people at once. I usually stick with one person to date with. If it doesnt work out? move on, i've already went through the "true love lose" paradox. True love lose paradox is when you find the love of your life and you plan everything for that person. marriage, kids etc. And all of a sudden you break off, the biggest depression kicks in because you put so much hope for a fairy tale ending and now all you can think of is jumping off a tall place because you will never find another. Yes i did have a few of those moments in my youth, now i have a simple plan for a relationship, find someone who can be a companion, a partner in crime. so far i've found someone who is that and loves me the same as i love them. And my family just doesnt want it cause they love to judge their books by the cover. So any further trips to see her would be denied. I kinda find it funny that my aunt, a second mother, is willing to dis-own me if i am still talking with her. the more i live under my family's rule, the more bitter i grow around them. They can offer me treasures, momentary love, and one sided advice.. but they can never give me what beats all those combined: a life to live and happiness. My lack of trust for people, anxiety, paranoia, all these thing that make me isolate myself from others was learned from them. Its what i used to survive under their house. I've hurt people before for the stupidest reasons, and i cant go back to fix them. Yet they also never knew my family to understand. The close friends i have, who know spanish and can understand what my family say, are now figuring out that my family is twisted. Its a huge burden and if i do take a risk, i need to be ready for the consequences.
Hopefully to brighten the atmosphere from that long rant, i went to court last week because they messed up my name change papers. So we went and funny enough the judge was a cool guy. He actually asked us why we were even in court to fix this if we could have called, i had a crummy lawyer at the time. SO officially now i am named by what my name is to those who i commission and send money to. I also don't plan on changing my name at all and would advise to think three times before considering. Atleast here in florida its 400$ or so to go through the process.
I have recently started in a new style of drawing, mainly to catch attention and just a change of pace. I may think of doing another comic for this style just to branch out for the time being. I should also mention that the reason why my comics never end or are unfinished is because its all unscripted. I do not write them in advance, it is all drawn from thought and straight to paper. But once i lose the flow it stops at an instant. The one comic i promised for halloween is still not done, but i might need to re-do it now digitally. So in due time all will go back in the flow.
As to the new style, i am working of something called Kawaii Drawings. If i explained what it means, we would need another journal for this. But as a summary of what it is, think of super simple hello kitty like chibis. flat color with flat shadings, ribbons everywhere, and an outbreak of diabites everywhere. i will post them soon enough. And the best part i figured a price for them. For 5$ you can have your own made from a template design, the template is just a faster way for me to draw it. 10$ and you get it in a different pose and everything, making it more unique and alive.
Hopefully i can send gifts to my gf for this week, otherwise i will feel really bad not to. And that is all the things that have happened so far within a month =.=
its a lot to handle and i just need to move forward. Even though i am very quiet on the mic, i do enjoy lingering around with friends. So to all my friends, i am sending all the hugs. and to those going through trouble as well, keep pushing forward. everything goes well when you keep moving forward.
tl;dnr : A lot of drama and ranting, my family are horrible people, sending love to all.
Interesting to hear you've changed your name legally. o.o I bet your fam threw a huge tantrum.
Still say, finish up with school, then disown them all.