I have literally felt like shit lately. I told a couple of great friends of mine that if i decided to go through with transitioning how would they feel about it. Basically I got a wide set of answers and it really dragged me down to thing that these people who have been with me for the longest...now think less of me because I want to be me instead of what they new/wanted me to be.

I even had one person say they wanted to date me strictly based on the fact that id be "half and half" now. I dont know if they were joking but they seemed pretty serious like wtf kind of logic is that?? I never dreamed I would be surrounded by people who looked at me as such.

I also had some friends state that no matter what I was I would always be Atti and that it didnt matter. My friend Joey only said two things about the matter

Joey: "your still taking me to hooters for MMA fights right"
Me: "...yea why would that change"
Joey: "Then why would anything else change?? your still the same hoe i met in high school and as your pimp aint nothin gonna change"

(Its an inside we had freshman year nothing derogatory)

That literally made me tear up and I just..I guess needed that reassurance that even if my outside appearance changes ill still continue to be me like i always have been. And I guess I just wanted people to see that and start seeing myself the way I do everyday.

I guess I just need a little time to pick myself back up. With moving from home to NY its been hard on me personally and im not quite sure with how I feel about it right now. Maybe if I make some friends things wont be so bad but I just need to focus on things that make me happy right now before i lose site of what im doing.

Sorry for this ramble I only wanted to talk about going on a short break but whoops...

Ill be here but mainly focusing on moving to my new account:

still have 2 trades left them im done for a long while and will be focusing also on my stories and character developments which i have neglected since ive been here.

thedumbdonk

-Atti