You know what? I'm tired of this shit eating away at me.

I fucking want to know what you think you accomplished. You gave up everything. All for some other motherfucker. You're type of person to throw almost ten fucking years away for someone you haven't even known for a month? I'm not going to sit here and fucking lie to myself. I'm still mentally and emotionally suffering. However, I will NOT let you have that satisfaction. No matter how much I am hurting and suffering, I refuse to let that run my life and keep me on the ground where you pushed me. Just remember how you fucking feel right now, because honestly, I would like nothing more than to see your "Now perfect" life burn away and fall apart. Yes it sounds harsh but I don't care anymore. What you did was just fucking bad. Let alone fucking twice. I'm not saying I'm perfect, because I know I'm far fucking from it. However, I didn't go and do what you did. You go spend your life to match your personality. I'm going to stay here and live mine all the same.

You want to know what I feel every day? Absolutely nothing anymore besides the emotional and mental train wreck that you left me as. I no longer have any worry. I no longer have any fear of something happening. That fear already came and manifested itself into this bastard of a reality that we live in. When I woke up that day, I was in shock. I broke down. I cried for over 6 fucking hours straight. I thought I would have to give up on trusting people. I told you everything. There were only certain things I kept from you because I was fucking afraid. Yes I fucking trusted you with a lot, but not everything. After you did what you did, I thought I was the problem. I was ready to fucking start harming myself again because I thought that I fucked everything up. I thought I could never trust anyone ever again. If you could betray my heart and my trust, what's to stop others. I can see now, that even though I have my fucking times where I'm just a train wreck, that doesn't excuse you from any responsibility. No matter fucking what, I. Stayed. Loyal. To. YOU. There were times I wanted to give up. But I stuck it out for US. Not just myself, not just you. A relationship needs everyone to be on the same level.

With that said, I want to thank you. Now I know to not be so stupid and trustworthy towards others. Without this experience, we still would have been living a fucking lie because that's all we apparently ever had. I'm over here, moving forward with my life, because the past is nothing to dwell on. However, that doesn't mean I'll forget what happened. You were the one to break this off, so don't blame me for this. I thought I would never be able to say a bad thing about you, but I guess people change. Whether I am changing for the better or not is not for you to decide anymore. You don't have to worry anymore. I told you that I would be there for you until you did something like what you did. So that gives me plenty of reason to go. You have a fun life. I begged and plead for any sign of you wanting me to stay. All you did was pass it off to someone else so I'm done. Just know, once everything comes crashing down, I will be here to listen to what you say, but from then on I will be a closed book. You will neither see nor hear any emotion or anything from me anymore. I know I shouldn't, but I would rather not stoop down to your level.

I have my friends, and that's all I will ever need. If Friendship is Magic, then call me Harry Potter. I don't need anything that you had to offer. I treated you guys like family, forgetting who my real family is. My real family is all around me. I thought I had to give everything up to be happy, but I am happy with all I have. The grass is greener on the other side because it was fertilized with bullshit. So thanks for your time. Thank you for being there when you were, and thank you for showing me who my real friends and family are.

Peace.
 AnthemTheMalamutt