REAL TALK RANT : I feel bummed, and this is why.
10 years ago
♥ "i wanna ruin our friendship, we should be lovers instead" ♥
Okay, this is really just gonna be a vent post, so you can click away if ya don't care to hear any of it.
Just really stuff I've been thinking and feeling, and just want to get it out somewhere.
I've been thinking a lot about myself as a fursuit maker- and many aspects of it.
It's one of the things that brings me the absolute most joy into my life-
along with actually fursuiting, but I'll save that for later down.
I enjoy making fursuits for myself, and for others too. I see many characters and would die to make them.
And seeing all the cute critters you all want me to make is amazing, and I want to make every single one someday.
I really do see this as my passion, and want to do this for many years to come.
I've only been doing this for three years (LGF officially turns 2 this June!), but I want three- no- 13 more!
I really want to advance my craft, continue making beautiful and fun critters,
and seeing my creations around the country- and maybe even the world!
But, lately, I feel like I have no time to do any of that.
The last time I even worked on a fursuit was in September, right before Rainfurrest.
(Minus a little in December, since I was making a premade, but it was literally a day, I made a base)
I've had all the neccessary elements to making a fursuit (WIP commissions, a sewing machine, EVERYTHING)
But never the time. I've always been working- and working in my friend's room, since I don't like my roommate.
I feel so sad over this. I really do wish I had the time to work on the suits I have
(a cute dinodog, an adorable polar bear, and a smiley opossum),
and more suits. I want to do commissions again!
I can barely keep afloat financially as it is tho. If I stopped doing everything that is taking up my time to work on suits, I'd be out of school and out of my place quicker than I can think about it.
I have a job, which has an hour commute. And that job is amazing, and I'd never quit if I could avoid it, it's just far away, and I don't get many hours, because I'm less than part time (on call, basically a filler).
I go to school full time and take close to the maximum amount of credits for my degree.
Then the homework hours are insane. Taking three studio art classes was dumb, but I did it, and I'm suffering because of it.
I keep on taking LOADS of commissions, to try and help with all of this blows that keep coming for me-
tooth surgery, charges on my school account, textbooks, food, the occassional fun item, clothes...
My parents can't send me anything because they can hardly pay their bills. And I don't have any other family members that can because they're all having financial troubles too.
(My gramma was sending me money monthly for a while- $50- but she needs all new teeth. Bad teeth run in my family. I have two more cavities, but can't afford to fill them. Along with FOUR wisdom teeth coming in.)
All I wanna do is save up for BLFC, but every time it looks like I may be able to go, something happens, and I have to spend all of my savings on it. I'm so tired of having $5 in my savings, and less than $100 in my checking. I hate that I have to buy the cheapest food, and that I'm gaining a bunch of weight because of it. It's all so stupid.
But, back to fursuits.
I want to make them. But, at other times, I feel discouraged.
There are two people out their with my work who either don't recommend me to people
("Who made your suit?" "LGF, but I don't suggest you work with them")
or don't even mention my hard work at all. It's a bummer knowing I've spent countless hours on their work to have it all thrown away like that. I know there are many of you who want my suits, but people telling others my work isn't worth it over easily fixable things? I'm not some professional maker, I'm still learning. I try my best every time, but I feel that it isn't enough sometimes. And the same goes for art commissions- people expect me to work on their commission the second they ask, and expect me to be some kind of robot, but I'm not.
I realize I'm not the fastest worker, but please cut my some slack. It's so hard.
I miss fursuiting. I have both of my fursuits here in college with me, but they're just sitting in a bin, in the dark, waiting for me to open it. But I rarely do. And that makes me sad.
The amount of joy I receive from fursuiting is beyond what I can explain. I really really just want to suit up and walk around Portland- that would be the greatest.
And my local furs always have these lovely meets that I can't ever get to, because I'm shy, and don't have a great way to get there with a suit.
IDK, I'm just complainging I suppose.
I just am in love with the entire world of fursuits, and wish I could be apart of it more than I am now.
There are more things I'm sure I forgot, but whatever, this is a rant.
TL;DR: XENY is sad because fursuits aren't apart of her life recently.
Stay cool,

You never know! Saving little bits at a time can do wonders!
i cant offer much on anything else unfortunately :c but i hope things look up soon. it sucks to be separated from one of your passions and it makes everything else so much more of a drag too.
Thank you for taking the time to respond to me. Thank you so much, it really means a lot.
Hopefully I can get back to it come summer time.
Honestly company helps a lot. I work and do school time and never really suit either, so I feel you there. But sometimes just having someone to share the passion with helps.
Don't be shy! From the few times we've spoken you are a lovlely talented girl! Get out there! <3
You can do it!
I need more irl furry friends. My best friend- who I'm usually always with- really appreciates furries, but isn't one. So it's always a little weird when I wanna talk about how much I love suiting/suit making, about cons, and furry drama.
You're so kind, thank you so much for all of your positivity! <3 You've always been so lovely to me!
Oh it's not a problem hun! I used to be in your place so i'd like to help people out (:
<3 If anything you could always message me i'll do my best to help where I can!
Go get em'!
Also psst Red Panda buddies! CX
Thank you so much, you're so kind <3
Heck yes! They're only the BEST!
yeah having a roomie like that can bring you down. But you're not weird. I'm sure your roomie has their own weird fandoms.
I would online suit with you if i had a cam!
HELLA YEAH!
Dude, it would be so awesome to have you live closer. I'd love to be able to hang out with you! (Portland is totally rad- and the outlying suburb-ish towns are too (Gresham, Beaverton, Tigard, Aloha, etc). But, even if it's Washington, that would be so cool to have another fur close by. Plus RF would definitely be a thing for us! I am so happy to call you a friend, you are so wickedly awesome. We need to talk more, for real.
Thank you so much Phall, this means so much to me.
Ohmygosh, I just got the email on my phone. Holy shit, thank you so much, I am crying tears of joy. This is absolutely going towards your fursuit payment, of course, but thank you so much, this is gonna help me out sooooo much, I can't even begin to explain that. Thank you thank you thank you.
I totally understand. I'm hoping to be caught up enough to start working on suits again soon. Plus, my roommate is moving out, so I can have this tiny, shitty dorm to myself.
And of course, you can send a new one! No worries at all! I understand, I've gained quite a bit of weight recently, which sucks. But I'm glad I didn't start working on my own bodysuit yet- that would have totally sucked.
That would be nice. I'd rather get it in small increments so I'm not tempted to do something stupid with the money. You're one of the most patient people I know. You've been waiting for your suit forever, holy heck!
I cannot wait for you to have her. You were the first one to encourage me to make suits way back three years ago, and that's something I won't easily forget. I just can't wait to have one of my suits go to someone I absolutely KNOW will love it!
Thank you so much, that would be ever so helpful. I will- as always- try to make it the best suit that I can!
Maybe arts are in order?
*violently draws you*
No don't say that! You were awesome to work with, and you're super rad, and I'm very happy that you commissioned me. Wilbuh is still my favorite suit I have ever made, I had so much fun with your character.
You are so incredibly kind, thank you. Hopefully I once I get back up, I'll beat the shit out of all these lemons life is throwing at me.
This is just such a nice comment overall, thank you for this. It's cheered me up quite a bit <3
I saw part of it! I can't wait to see the rest! <3
Thank you so much <3 <3 <3
Someday you'll have a fursuit! Who do you want to make Troi? She's such a fantastic character- be sure to get her from someone who will do her justice!
Your positivity is amazing, thank you for this super meaningful comment. You've made my night that much better <3
You are the best, thank you again!
My dream is to be able to attend AC one day!! It's pretty far, but I would die if I got to go. Same with FWA!
We have a furry group on campus (I go to a big uni tho), but I haven't gone yet???? IDK
What do his suits look like?
Yeah, and we have two meet up groups here too (in Portland, not the school)!! I need to go, seriously. Missed a cool meet up yesterday ;^;
What the heck?? They should want to group up and hang out!!
Thank you Lanoya- you're really one of the best furs I know, and you're so super supportive. You've been there for me a lot, and you're #1 Dad. Thank you! I'm sure they'll get better. The term's getting close to over, and if I power through it, I think it'll be easier spring term.
Thank you for your support as always :)
Thank you, it means a lot. I think it should, as long as I work hard and keep my chin up.
Really, this means a lot to me, thank you. I hope to continue to inspire people, because it's one of the best things ever.
Thank you thank you thank you <33
Thank you <3333
Your butt Icon distracts me too. Its just so much movement... lol
That's why I got it! It's just so hypnotizing <3
Really Sparrow, thank you so much, this is an amazing message <3 I love you!!