so yeah. I'm outside and I have my bush ax which I must say is quite an intimidating piece of cutlery, and I'm talking on the phone whilst whittling a club of some size. I slam said bush ax point first into a tree and leave it hanging there and proceed to pace with my new club. Still talking on the phone and getting some wary looks from the neighbors... a few minutes go by and "I'm gonna have to call you back... its the cops..." I put the phone into my pocket and now picture this... I stand five foot eight at the tallest even wearing boots, I am wearing a camouflage army do-rag and I am wearing my tattered hoody that has shreds of cloth that hang out from beneath the cuffs of my also very tattered denim coat. Quite bulky and menacing, celtic cross stained into the right shoulder and shreds of fabric from where the coat is falling apart.

I see a squad car pull around the corner, and I see headlights approaching from behind me. I see two more cars pull in behind the first and I turn my head to the side and in my peripheral vision see two cars blocking the street. I'm completely encircled, the officers from the front three exit the vehicle, three officers with guns drawn and pointing at me, two with flashlights keeping me illuminated. I lean over and place the club tip first to the ground and flick it over, so as to lay it on the ground and grab my jackets by the shoulders and drop them to ground in front of me. standing with arms spread, fingers splayed, and staring them down they start to approach very slowly. The ones from behind tell me to lift my right arm and they grab the walmart box cutter from my waist and literally dart back well out of arms reach as I stare at them out of the corner of my eye, I then turn my head back and stare at the ones in front. They ask if I have anything else on me and I raise my left arm and point at the bush ax embedded in the tree. The two in the back get wide eyed as hell and step a bit farther back, the one nearest me with the flashlight lays his hand on his nightstick visibly frightened. They run through the standard questions albeit with guns drawn and pale faces, I tell them I was bored and cut the rest of the story short. One informs me that I need to keep in mind that I'm making people feel like they're in a Friday the 13th movie and I grin at him and lower my head not taking my eyes off of him. They ask me if I'm going to take it inside and I assure them that I will and they place my bush ax against a dumpster well out of reach and one hands me my knife back almost out of arms reach. They all back slowly to their cars and three stay behind to watch me enter my apartment.

Needless to say, about eight cops are thanking their lucky fucking stars that I'm not a "complete" psychopath and that shit did not go down tonight. I wish I could have had this on videotape because damn, it was priceless.