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Self-Conscious Lizard
10 years ago
Glimpse The Thoughts of Jack the Beaver
As everyone knows, I am a student and I am studying literature. I wasn't originally sure I was going to write about this but it's been bothering me for a few days. If you know anything about the state college system of my home state, you know that the people in charge of it are trying to shift funding away from humanities and towards more money in vocational programs. Many of my classmates were stunned and are ready to riot. Me? I was actually surprised it took this long for something like this to happen.
When I told my family I wanted to study English, I set off a fight that has still not ended despite me being in grad. school. For my family what I am studying is worthless, what I am doing with my time is pointless. My parents have for the most part quit telling me that, though my brother makes sure to remind me he's getting a real degree and I'm not every chance he can.
To me it's only natural the state college system follows suit. We view English as worthless or not having enough function. We live in a society that prizes the practical function of something over all else. The fact that literature allows people to express themselves, to add color to a world in desperate need of it or to show the way others besides ourselves view the world is irrelevant. What matters is function, always function.
When I was speaking to a fellow student at school a couple of weeks ago, we discussed our different tracts in English. He is studying linguistics, a social science, while I am studying literature, a humanity. He explained to me that he was studying linguistics because it would allow him to better understand language, to better help people communicate. We live in a more global society and language is very important.
I made the foolish decision of asking what he thought of my field of study. Answer:"Well you can always recommend books for people to read." Funny, that's also something you can get from a librarian.
What I do is much more complicated than read and talk about books. I go over texts from a variety of eras and cultures, I study them and scan them for meaning, I make comparisons to other works, I critique them from different perspectives, I study the culture they were written in, I even study how printing was done in the time period. What I do is much more in line from what you get from a historian, not a librarian.
Yet if I try to tell people about what I do, I can actually see their eyes glaze over. If I try to claim what I do is important, I'm told it isn't and I'm lucky I can call studying English work. You never see a statistician have to deal with this crap.
I am very self conscious about what I study and the field I work in. I have people treat me like a kid when I tell them I study English, or an dunce with nary a thought in my head. I want the study of literature to be taken seriously and I want to be acknowledged as someone working hard in a field that matters, not wasting money on a joke degree. But I can't even convince my own family.
I have to convince people. I have to show them I am intelligent and hard working, through lots of work and never stopping. It wont be easy. Not for one second. I have to be patient and just keep working.
Two of my favorite quotes come from this idea of being patient and persevering. The first comes from Rose Among Thorns: "Yet divine Goodness would not have called you to the path on which you are traveling without strengthening you for all this; it is for him to bring this work to completion. Even if He takes long to accomplish it, be patient: the task requires it."
The second comes from James, Chapter 5, starting at verse 7: "Brothers and sisters, be patient until the Lord comes again. A farmer patiently waits for his valuable crop to grow from the Earth and for it to receive the autumn and spring rains. You too must be patient. Do not give up hope, because the Lord is coming soon."
I keep these in minds with most things I do. God has put me to work where I am for his purposes. I must stick with it. Eventually it will all work out according to his will. Until then I wait and work. And I hope for everything to work out.
When I told my family I wanted to study English, I set off a fight that has still not ended despite me being in grad. school. For my family what I am studying is worthless, what I am doing with my time is pointless. My parents have for the most part quit telling me that, though my brother makes sure to remind me he's getting a real degree and I'm not every chance he can.
To me it's only natural the state college system follows suit. We view English as worthless or not having enough function. We live in a society that prizes the practical function of something over all else. The fact that literature allows people to express themselves, to add color to a world in desperate need of it or to show the way others besides ourselves view the world is irrelevant. What matters is function, always function.
When I was speaking to a fellow student at school a couple of weeks ago, we discussed our different tracts in English. He is studying linguistics, a social science, while I am studying literature, a humanity. He explained to me that he was studying linguistics because it would allow him to better understand language, to better help people communicate. We live in a more global society and language is very important.
I made the foolish decision of asking what he thought of my field of study. Answer:"Well you can always recommend books for people to read." Funny, that's also something you can get from a librarian.
What I do is much more complicated than read and talk about books. I go over texts from a variety of eras and cultures, I study them and scan them for meaning, I make comparisons to other works, I critique them from different perspectives, I study the culture they were written in, I even study how printing was done in the time period. What I do is much more in line from what you get from a historian, not a librarian.
Yet if I try to tell people about what I do, I can actually see their eyes glaze over. If I try to claim what I do is important, I'm told it isn't and I'm lucky I can call studying English work. You never see a statistician have to deal with this crap.
I am very self conscious about what I study and the field I work in. I have people treat me like a kid when I tell them I study English, or an dunce with nary a thought in my head. I want the study of literature to be taken seriously and I want to be acknowledged as someone working hard in a field that matters, not wasting money on a joke degree. But I can't even convince my own family.
I have to convince people. I have to show them I am intelligent and hard working, through lots of work and never stopping. It wont be easy. Not for one second. I have to be patient and just keep working.
Two of my favorite quotes come from this idea of being patient and persevering. The first comes from Rose Among Thorns: "Yet divine Goodness would not have called you to the path on which you are traveling without strengthening you for all this; it is for him to bring this work to completion. Even if He takes long to accomplish it, be patient: the task requires it."
The second comes from James, Chapter 5, starting at verse 7: "Brothers and sisters, be patient until the Lord comes again. A farmer patiently waits for his valuable crop to grow from the Earth and for it to receive the autumn and spring rains. You too must be patient. Do not give up hope, because the Lord is coming soon."
I keep these in minds with most things I do. God has put me to work where I am for his purposes. I must stick with it. Eventually it will all work out according to his will. Until then I wait and work. And I hope for everything to work out.
I respect you a lot for that. a lot of people just...follow. Do what everyone else expects them to do. But you do what you feel is important.
The other issue is that everyone wants Instant results on Everything. And that's just not how it works.
Finally, all that lovely info we all get to read about, on any topic, any subject matter had to be dissected by Someone did it not? Analyzed, picked apart, learned about, dated, and so on. It's not gonna do itself. It's part of a history. A history that would be lost forever if someone like you didn't do all of that.
People may not See that it matters, but we both know that it does.
You keep at it! Know that some people while, may not fully understand.....understand it's importance enough, and is very proud of you.
Thank you though for being proud of me. I wish my family was. I wont give up. I'll just be frustrated.
Dominus tecum
Dominus tecum
Dominus tecum
Dominus tecum
While this may initially sound like another hopeless case of wages versus humanities, my motive is actually ulterior in nature. Getting a job in a cutting-edge field ensures that I can live a life that allows me time and energy to pursue my true joys: reading, writing, and composing music. Time will tell whether this is a viable plan, but I want to offer my full support of your accomplishments and future goals. My mind never felt more active or engaged than when my professor and I would talk after class about readings. The careful analytical nature of those conversations are still a warm memory. I even attended a faculty symposium to see her present one of her papers on Marie de France. ( One of two students, the rest were all teachers. )
Go for it, I say. English is the convergence of multiple areas of study, making it more challenging yet also more rewarding.