This might be silly and insignificant to most, but i wanna try to keep an update frequently as i dont use twitter or tumblr and all that, both negative and positive.


First of all, a huge hoofbump and thank you to all who have spilled their supportive words on my earlier uploads and journals! Remember, each word you put affects the person on the other side of the screen, and you surely have made an impact in my life. I might be cruel, careless or completely too stubborn and ignorant to do what your helpful words tell me to do, but even if i didnt listen, i did see em and understand em.

At first, i act if the support didnt even exist or that any support was just another way of harming me, but when i have finished crying and thinking, i DO take a look at each of your inputs, i see em, and i truly take em into consideration. My insecurities are strong, im not much of a believer in wht i cannot see, and when im in that black void, i have no idea how i would ever get better, EVER.

When im in that dark place, i think about all i have learned, all the truths and facts, i think about them as an "end" a fact that cannot be progressed upon or seen in a different way. It gives my perspective very few hard paths, paths that i would easily give up on in that state. When i reply back while being in the black void, i sound truly careless, its like i dont even give a damn about what you or others tell me, my brain tells me only one thing: "You dont know shit" Thats all i can hear within myself when people try to help me, and when people try to make themselves relate to me, i become annoyed and i dont wanna hear more.


I went to the doctor, but as allways, i didnt say anythiing or replied hostile back, but he gave me a perscription for some medicine. But as ever, i didnt give a fuck. This is here where my parants began to step in, and somehow got me the medicine using my perscription (dont ask me how) they went ahead and did it for me.

It turns out it was all i needed. Im currently dizzy and swirly because of the mecidine .. but its because i just need to get into it. Im currently 2 weeks into it, and i begin to see the effectiveness of its antidepressive and antianxious traits.


A week ago, i began socialising in ways i normally wouldnt. Everytime i think about calling a person on skype, i think too much about it and become anxious. But the other day, i sorta just clicked call without acturally thinking about it! A few minutes after the call it occourd to me what i acturally just did, and the realization suddenly made me anxious again and i closed the call. It was odd, but it was progress.

As for happiness? i still feel depressed when i need to sleep .. but i do feel content throughout the day, i dont feel the breath of fate, breathing me in the back of my head anymore, as if i have something to catch up to, i feel more like i should an could do anything at my own pacing and it gives me freedom to acturally be happy.

I stopped drawing vore, and im incredibly sorry to all for all of this, but ive moved over to a rather close interrest within the NSFW world, and im currently doing more vanilla and kinky stuff rather than fantasy stuff such as vore, its still pony though!


Also, im highly considering comissions, as i feel economy pushing against me a little more, but im also thinking of instead of doing that, ill just make a little donation pool, then people can donate only if they want to! i certainly would like that alot better, i dont wanna push or force payments on anyone since my activity is so wavery and inconsistant.


Im also gonna announce that ill be attendint SVS con in herning in denmark .. allthough .. thats probably not much of an interrest to meny here :I but i still feel it should be said.

Im anxious about attending though, so a sudden change of events may occour, but im gonna see if i can try my best!