FA+
Shop
What is happening
11 years ago
General
What is happening around me?
I am scared of people being numb. Scared that no one believes me. That everyone thinks I am just making soap stories about my cat and mental problems.
I feel hysterical. That condition started since that cursed day.
How can I move on? If I run away now I'll keep running away forever. Should I stay on this page? Or simply ran away from here?
I am here already runned from one place. Why do I trying to hiding my country and my native language? Why I even saying this if I talked about people who don't believe?
What should I do? Make photos of cat's blood or vet visiting? Or make photos of my scars and fresh cuts? What should I do to stop being a clown on someoneelse's scene?
For all my life I was an ugly duckling. Lonely and weird. Nothing changed... I try to draw bright and cute and adoraadorable art but that's not what I feel. I wish for a world where people treat with artists not as a full-time workers. Money is not a reward... artists need words to continue their way. Only the strongest and professionalest can go on without it, but I can't sale my soul. I need to hear from the commissioner simple words and not just "remake this and that" and then maybe you get a candy. Even if you want something more - the work is done and why is it so hard to say a few words about it...
How many of you are like that? How can I accept new commissioners? Yes I am paranoid. I told I am sick. I don't know how to calm down how to stop writing this how to stop being scared of everything about art.
That hurted me much more than I might know. You know, my nation mostly hated me. I had an "ask me" account and it was full of "go away" "you can't draw" "you are think about yourself too many" and other dirty words...
I AM SORRY FOR BEING SO SENSITIVE BUT IT WONT SIMPLY GO AWAY.
Thank mostly people for kind words. But I am still afraid of being alone even online.
I don't care about money that much, I draw to feel that someone likes me and I am not useless. Please don't kill me. And think what you say when you ask an artist to redraw. Be sure you are kind to him. He's not a plumber, his upsetting ruins the work even if he is not that sensitive like I am.
I am mad. Crazy. I know. Put take me as I am. I do my best to draw for you all that you wish, just... just...
I wish this drama could come to an end at least. But day by day nothing changes and it's only getting worse... inside of me.
I am scared of people being numb. Scared that no one believes me. That everyone thinks I am just making soap stories about my cat and mental problems.
I feel hysterical. That condition started since that cursed day.
How can I move on? If I run away now I'll keep running away forever. Should I stay on this page? Or simply ran away from here?
I am here already runned from one place. Why do I trying to hiding my country and my native language? Why I even saying this if I talked about people who don't believe?
What should I do? Make photos of cat's blood or vet visiting? Or make photos of my scars and fresh cuts? What should I do to stop being a clown on someoneelse's scene?
For all my life I was an ugly duckling. Lonely and weird. Nothing changed... I try to draw bright and cute and adoraadorable art but that's not what I feel. I wish for a world where people treat with artists not as a full-time workers. Money is not a reward... artists need words to continue their way. Only the strongest and professionalest can go on without it, but I can't sale my soul. I need to hear from the commissioner simple words and not just "remake this and that" and then maybe you get a candy. Even if you want something more - the work is done and why is it so hard to say a few words about it...
How many of you are like that? How can I accept new commissioners? Yes I am paranoid. I told I am sick. I don't know how to calm down how to stop writing this how to stop being scared of everything about art.
That hurted me much more than I might know. You know, my nation mostly hated me. I had an "ask me" account and it was full of "go away" "you can't draw" "you are think about yourself too many" and other dirty words...
I AM SORRY FOR BEING SO SENSITIVE BUT IT WONT SIMPLY GO AWAY.
Thank mostly people for kind words. But I am still afraid of being alone even online.
I don't care about money that much, I draw to feel that someone likes me and I am not useless. Please don't kill me. And think what you say when you ask an artist to redraw. Be sure you are kind to him. He's not a plumber, his upsetting ruins the work even if he is not that sensitive like I am.
I am mad. Crazy. I know. Put take me as I am. I do my best to draw for you all that you wish, just... just...
I wish this drama could come to an end at least. But day by day nothing changes and it's only getting worse... inside of me.
I'm sorry for whatever is going on and I hope you do feel better :c
I hope so too ;w;
I know that this is much easier to say than to do but, just keep focusing on moving forward, maybe you will go down, maybe up, but when you look back you will see how far you have come.
(I am really bad at this, took me like 30 mins to come up with this)
Be sure there always will be stupid and nice people out there.
It's hard to handle the stupid people. You're are who you are. And that is totally alright.
*hug*
i do not have an active skype account, but i certainly must create it ^^
How are your baby kitties, BTW? Are they feeling better?
Don't be afraid of people because you're different than others, and just disregard others who wants to give you a bad time over small things. Talk to us! We promise we won't kill you, haha.