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Bit of Advice?
10 years ago
Life isn't that bad--laugh until it hurts.
Anyway...
There's this cute guy I know, and he's expressed interest in dating me. He's nice, and sweet (and very cute). I'm recently single--no big blow-up or anything, we just drifted apart. (So I doubt that I'm on the rebound, or anything like that. I think that we could have a lot of fun together.
I've already asked my roommates and friends about this, and they're split. This guy, who is completely awesome and stuff, has indicated that one of the things he finds attractive about me is that I'm a paraplegic. This is kind of odd, I think. This isn't the only thing he likes about me, we share a lot of common interests. He's only one year older than me, but we're both freshmen. Like I said, we have a lot in common.
I'm not sure if I want to be with someone who wants to be with me because of my handicap, not despite it. My floppy legs may not be the only reason he's into me, but paraplegia is probably a large part of it. But he was honest about it. Is my wheelchair any different than having curly hair in this case? I mean, I find his curly hair sexy, and it makes him more attractive. Should I fault him for finding my wheelchair being more attractive? Is it on the same level? Fuck... I need someone sane to tell me what to do.
So...
Opinions, please?
There's this cute guy I know, and he's expressed interest in dating me. He's nice, and sweet (and very cute). I'm recently single--no big blow-up or anything, we just drifted apart. (So I doubt that I'm on the rebound, or anything like that. I think that we could have a lot of fun together.
I've already asked my roommates and friends about this, and they're split. This guy, who is completely awesome and stuff, has indicated that one of the things he finds attractive about me is that I'm a paraplegic. This is kind of odd, I think. This isn't the only thing he likes about me, we share a lot of common interests. He's only one year older than me, but we're both freshmen. Like I said, we have a lot in common.
I'm not sure if I want to be with someone who wants to be with me because of my handicap, not despite it. My floppy legs may not be the only reason he's into me, but paraplegia is probably a large part of it. But he was honest about it. Is my wheelchair any different than having curly hair in this case? I mean, I find his curly hair sexy, and it makes him more attractive. Should I fault him for finding my wheelchair being more attractive? Is it on the same level? Fuck... I need someone sane to tell me what to do.
So...
Opinions, please?
In your situation, I would probably not worry about the titles. Spend some time with him. Get to know each other. See if it feels right. If you think he and you are a good fit, then date him. :)
However, if it personally makes you uncomfortable, you shouldn't do anything that makes you feel that way. I don't think you should feel pressured to change your natural feelings.
I think it's a matter of just kind of thinking deeply about how YOU truly feel. It's good to get other people's perspectives just to get input and take things into consideration, but ultimately I think this is a matter of figuring out what's right for you. You're always free to change your mind about things, but you have to change it because it's what you want, not because of what anyone else thinks.
I wasn't uncomfortable with the situation, per se, but was second guessing things. I do that a lot.
Wouldn't it be a lot better to be with someone who likes you AND your disability? I mean if they only liked you for your disability that'd be different, but they like you as a person as well from what I'm gathering, so that's good right? It means they accept all of you, without the whole "despite" business.