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On Melancholy Hill [update]
11 years ago
General
Hello again.
I was going to start this journal by saying that I've just been busy with the real world and that's why I haven't posted much recently.
But that's not true.
In the fall of last year I started feeling pretty down. A lot. I failed 2 courses last semester because I simply lost motivation and couldn't bring myself to working harder. I simply shrugged it off at the time and kind of sailed through the holidays and midwest furfest and up until recently. My school performance was starting to hurt again this semester and I just didn't have the energy to deal with anything.
If you know me, you know something is wrong when I start feeling like playing video games is a chore.
Again, I kept pushing it off until I started thinking things. I started having visions of suicide. I was thinking about dropping out. I was unsatisfied with how my life was going. And I kept thinking these things more and more frequently.
Every time I had a vision of me holding a gun to my head, I always pushed it away. I knew I wouldn't ever actually do it. But it kept appearing more and more often, until I eventually broke down.
earlier this week I went and saw a psychiatrist and as it turns out I have been suffering from depression. I'm now on a treatment plan for it and I just hope that things move forward from here.
I'll get back to drawing eventually, but obviously new commissions are closed for right now. I'll get back to working on ones I already started.
(PS i'll be titling my journals as songs from now on)
I was going to start this journal by saying that I've just been busy with the real world and that's why I haven't posted much recently.
But that's not true.
In the fall of last year I started feeling pretty down. A lot. I failed 2 courses last semester because I simply lost motivation and couldn't bring myself to working harder. I simply shrugged it off at the time and kind of sailed through the holidays and midwest furfest and up until recently. My school performance was starting to hurt again this semester and I just didn't have the energy to deal with anything.
If you know me, you know something is wrong when I start feeling like playing video games is a chore.
Again, I kept pushing it off until I started thinking things. I started having visions of suicide. I was thinking about dropping out. I was unsatisfied with how my life was going. And I kept thinking these things more and more frequently.
Every time I had a vision of me holding a gun to my head, I always pushed it away. I knew I wouldn't ever actually do it. But it kept appearing more and more often, until I eventually broke down.
earlier this week I went and saw a psychiatrist and as it turns out I have been suffering from depression. I'm now on a treatment plan for it and I just hope that things move forward from here.
I'll get back to drawing eventually, but obviously new commissions are closed for right now. I'll get back to working on ones I already started.
(PS i'll be titling my journals as songs from now on)
I`m hoping things get better for you