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First World Problems
10 years ago
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COMMISSION STATUS:OPEN | COMM PRICES & INFO | WAITING LIST
One of the best feelings I get is when I've been productive. But for some reason I get very "scared" of doing tasks. A 15 second phone call I may put off for months. I bet quite a few people will understand what I mean.
So these tasks build up and up, a constant weight on your shoulders and something that keeps me up at night. When I try to force myself to do tasks I feel very nervous and take on any other task to avoid doing that while also feeling like I'm doing something.
Then one day ... I just do the task, and surprisingly it didn't hurt or take very long. I feel so pumped up, I try another then maybe feel like that was plenty for the day. Maybe I just get hooked on it altogether and finish like, every single task that's been building up for the last half a year. To finally not have that mountain of doom plaguing my mind, it feels so fresh, clear, I feel so happy just to be alive.
Then whenever I get bored it just all falls back to where it was. The road to being a responsible adult is a long and hard one. I also probably have ADD or something. This whole journal post is just me trying to avoid doing obligatory work that I find is less fun than drawing. ~(^_^ )~
So these tasks build up and up, a constant weight on your shoulders and something that keeps me up at night. When I try to force myself to do tasks I feel very nervous and take on any other task to avoid doing that while also feeling like I'm doing something.
Then one day ... I just do the task, and surprisingly it didn't hurt or take very long. I feel so pumped up, I try another then maybe feel like that was plenty for the day. Maybe I just get hooked on it altogether and finish like, every single task that's been building up for the last half a year. To finally not have that mountain of doom plaguing my mind, it feels so fresh, clear, I feel so happy just to be alive.
Then whenever I get bored it just all falls back to where it was. The road to being a responsible adult is a long and hard one. I also probably have ADD or something. This whole journal post is just me trying to avoid doing obligatory work that I find is less fun than drawing. ~(^_^ )~
So I put one day a week to get the tasks done so then it is less stress on me ; v ; I know the feeling! It sucks, but again people make stuff suck so CX
Taxes ... taxes ... taxes ... @_@
taxes are a pain CX We just used turbo tax and it took only a little bit which was nice!
Do you take ref sheets as well?
I feel terrible when I don't get things done, especially when they're really easy too. It's like there's a wall preventing me from progressing and I can't figure out how to get through it. I also feel like it's something I can't really talk about because I feel like it's a problem that other people wont understand. I know the answer is, "just get the work done" but it's not that easy. I don't know why, but right now, I just can't.
I did work with a friend on something once before though and that helped tremendously. We sat side by side and simultaneously worked on editing a video together. It's the only way that I've found that will prevent me from avoiding the work and getting it done.
This is also why when someone lets me know that my commission is taking longer than they intended I tell them not to worry. It is bad to aid this kind of behavior and I know sometimes people need a little push to get going (I know I do), but I understand why it's taking longer and I wont hold it against them.
There's even this comic which reads exactly like how it is. "Wait ... what I have to go to the bank? What am I, some sort of wizard?" "I did three things yesterday!" lololol
TBH I kind of suspect that this is just what it's like to live with ADD and people just don't know they have it ... I was reading about ADD symptoms and it was literally the story of my life, like I don't even have personality it's just my face on this list. TwT
Oh wow, that comic is too accurate.
Then when I can actually send out a company to come and fix something I clean my hands of it like it's done. But then they don't reply ... so it's like the thing has to start all over again.