Sorry for the delay in getting a new journal up, I guess I just have been lazy. Things have been going well, actually they're going fantastic. I've started my second semister at a technical college and I'm taking automotive technology classes. I hope to further my knowladge base so it can help me become a automotive technician so I can work towards a good career and finally have a good paying job. I could start a job at a Chevrolet Dealership, only problem is I need to get the vehicle I have paid off and get it inspected and registered as well as make some minor repairs. I dont have the money for it so I'm looking for a part time job in the mean time.

All that aside, this is the real reason that I have made this journal. Love for me is something that always gets me in trouble. I just want t obe happy with someone. I've tried having relationships, all long distance and they always end the same. Long distance will not work with me. I need to first focuse on college and getting a job before I start trying to seek out a relationship, but lately I feel like I should just wait for love to find me...

I met someone at a furry convention that I developed strong feelings towards. Being around them during my time there made me happier then I have ever been. I think that these feelings were premature and that I should have just been content with the friendship I had. I told them of my feelings towards them after the con and it didnt go well. They avoided talking to me because they didnt know how to repsond to such a statement. I cant fault them for that. I pushed to hard and pressured this individual for a relationship and I should have just stopped. I feel like I jepordized my friendship with this person because of it. We went back to talking and I apologized for pressuring them so much. I just wish I could take it all back. I dont think things would have been different honestly. I just want ot be happy with someone, someone I can trust and share my bed with at nights and be with for the rest of my life. I thought I found love, what I found was nothing.

I cant force someone to have feelings for me, those kinds of feelings need to come naturally. These memories I have and the regrets I have are killing me on the inside. I wish I could just get up and get over things like this but its just so hard for me to do so. I guess I just have to move on...