Thankful, and sorry
10 years ago
So this is it, I get over 150 watchers thanks to you and with every new watcher, favourite, comment... I always feel more content about the furrydom, and for that I'm really grateful to all of you. It may not be anything big nor great, but it actually mean a lot to the little Me. For someone who only discover the furrydom since 15 months -and only going deep for the past five months, I'm really enjoying this experience so far.
So then, this is why I wanted to express my gratitude through my first journal x')
And for the same reason, I wanted to truly apologize to you as well.
Because I did something I shouldn't have, and lied about my gender in spite of myself: truth is, I'm a guy behind my screen, behind this avatar.
Many probably won't budge to this, but I still lied and this was working too much on me though I did nothing since all that time to tell the truth, until today. I'm weak, and really feel bad about it, I'm really sorry.
I usually never hide my gender but this time, I screwed up when first entering the furrydom. It looked like something minor, going on one of those Roleplay forums with someone and even though I always said my real gender on the previous, this time I didn't. I'm not able to explain that to even myself, why I did such a thing but I never knew the furrydom would appeal me this much to the point of creating my own OC ten months later. I expected nothing at first, but I made bonds with great, warm people and though I'm really happy to have met them, that little lie started growing in me, and making me uneasy.
And when joining FA later, that lie followed me because of my weak side and that uneasiness grown even bigger, for every good people I met. I was too afraid to say it, and to be honest I'm still when I type those words. But nothing will change if I don't...
For all those people I met, talked with and shared a good moment with, I am utterly sorry. To anyone of you, even if you don't care about this or don't even read this journal, I apologize truly. You can do anything you want with this, accepting it or not, ignoring me, anything... I'm entirely at fault, so I'll deserve any reproach.
I love being here, and I will continue to walk around the place to enjoy myself, with everyone. Thanks for reading me, thank you for anything you did even the smallest thing, and sorry...
So then, this is why I wanted to express my gratitude through my first journal x')
And for the same reason, I wanted to truly apologize to you as well.
Because I did something I shouldn't have, and lied about my gender in spite of myself: truth is, I'm a guy behind my screen, behind this avatar.
Many probably won't budge to this, but I still lied and this was working too much on me though I did nothing since all that time to tell the truth, until today. I'm weak, and really feel bad about it, I'm really sorry.
I usually never hide my gender but this time, I screwed up when first entering the furrydom. It looked like something minor, going on one of those Roleplay forums with someone and even though I always said my real gender on the previous, this time I didn't. I'm not able to explain that to even myself, why I did such a thing but I never knew the furrydom would appeal me this much to the point of creating my own OC ten months later. I expected nothing at first, but I made bonds with great, warm people and though I'm really happy to have met them, that little lie started growing in me, and making me uneasy.
And when joining FA later, that lie followed me because of my weak side and that uneasiness grown even bigger, for every good people I met. I was too afraid to say it, and to be honest I'm still when I type those words. But nothing will change if I don't...
For all those people I met, talked with and shared a good moment with, I am utterly sorry. To anyone of you, even if you don't care about this or don't even read this journal, I apologize truly. You can do anything you want with this, accepting it or not, ignoring me, anything... I'm entirely at fault, so I'll deserve any reproach.
I love being here, and I will continue to walk around the place to enjoy myself, with everyone. Thanks for reading me, thank you for anything you did even the smallest thing, and sorry...
I know how such a lie feels and it's revealing after sorting it out, so enjoy it!
Also congratulations to the watcher and that many more will follow~
Thanks a lot to you, you're one of the reasons I really enjoy the furrydom ~
You did pretty much exactly the same thing I had been doing when I started joining the fandom. I know how cruel it feels, but the big majority of my friends was supportive. :D
And I'll be supportive as well, Pandi-kun. Welcome to the club. XD
*hugs tightly*
I hope you'll feel better soon now that you've come out.
And hope to see you in the stream again soon.
And your support is really appreciated, though a big, manly gnu saying 'Tee-hee' sounded funny x')
<w<
I'll make a journal when I stream. Until I get a proper streaming picture.
OH GOD, I'M SO SORRY! >_<'
Enjoy the rest of your weekend dear!
J'espère t'embêter encore quelques temps ! ^.^ Nyo !
A bientôt ! Hugs ! ^.^ Nyo !
This is mainly why I wanted to apologize, though it doesn't mean I don't feel sorry towards everyone - even you. That may sounds selfish, but I wanted to feel better with myself as well... Thanks for your concern, sweetheart ~
My pleasure,hun.
But the need to apology is real for me, maybe it isn't important for you and I appreciate that it's still okay for you despite this lie, but I truly am sorry for it... Like some said earlier in previous comments, it gives you a bad taste from your own failure, or weakness. I tend to be more severe with myself than people can be with me, but your kind words relieve me :'3
*hugs*
BTW congrats for the 150 watchers :'3
... Because