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Family finding Update!
11 years ago
General
I've posted twice now about the happenings in my personal life, and what was sadness at first has had an interest outcome!
I've searched for the last 13 years for my birth mother who two weeks ago I found out passed away in 2001 when I was only 17. I was only allowed to search for her at 18, so I've been searching for someone who I wouldn't physically find. I've been in contact with my birth father since I was 19 and he's a lovely man. I don't want to regret the life I had but I really wonder what sort of person I'd have been if he raised me - but all I know is how loved I would have been. We've never really spoken much about my birth mother aside from bits and pieces, but since I found out she had passed I gave him the information. He knew my biological sisters name and my brother of whom I've found my brothers birth records (yay!) and back tracked my sister. (I've known their names but it's really generic.) He found her and she had listed my mother as hers as well. Breakthrough!
It may not seem like much but for the first time I've laid eyes on someone that is related to me on my mothers side of the family. It may have been a photograph from google+ but it was enough to know that we were related. She lives in the same city as my brother (who is USAF) and their biological father. This raised a huge red flag for me as I don't really know the circumstances of what my mother did, but she wasn't with her husband when I was conceived but was in the middle of a divorce and my father had a relationship with her for some time.
So, I really don't feel comfortable making contact. I'm afraid the door would just get slammed in my face. The photographs show that he's been a good father to them both and loves his grand children. Just having seen them in photographs is enough for me. Through them I've found my mothers twin brother, the spitting image of the only two images I have of my mother. When I was born her sister was there and made friends with my adoptive parents but once I was signed over my father made the choice of severing contact so that I didn't get confused growing up - I believe I've found my aunt - 99.9% sure that it's her.
I'm not ready emotionally to make my first contact but I have been losing so much sleep over this its unreal. I have a massive family on my mothers side - like 9-10 siblings that my mother had. I'm most definitely Hawaiian - and I've always leaned towards that feeling pride in my heritage. I may not have physically grown up there, or with my Hawaiian family, but goodness. We're all brown! People look like me! I don't feel so awkward about my appearance any longer - my traits really run through my family lines and it's made me really proud to be who I am. It's odd admitting that just from photographs and knowing that they exist and are truly out there.
They're all over Hawaii, California, some in Kentucky, and Nevada. Things just got so real to me and I'm so sorry Ive been massively aloof. If I haven't been drawing, I've been searching or staring at my ceiling hoping sleep will come.
I'm still squealing. Yeeeee! And a huge thank you to the one person who trusted me enough to help me search. You've been such a massive help to me even if I couldn't find anything through the newspaper services. x
I've searched for the last 13 years for my birth mother who two weeks ago I found out passed away in 2001 when I was only 17. I was only allowed to search for her at 18, so I've been searching for someone who I wouldn't physically find. I've been in contact with my birth father since I was 19 and he's a lovely man. I don't want to regret the life I had but I really wonder what sort of person I'd have been if he raised me - but all I know is how loved I would have been. We've never really spoken much about my birth mother aside from bits and pieces, but since I found out she had passed I gave him the information. He knew my biological sisters name and my brother of whom I've found my brothers birth records (yay!) and back tracked my sister. (I've known their names but it's really generic.) He found her and she had listed my mother as hers as well. Breakthrough!
It may not seem like much but for the first time I've laid eyes on someone that is related to me on my mothers side of the family. It may have been a photograph from google+ but it was enough to know that we were related. She lives in the same city as my brother (who is USAF) and their biological father. This raised a huge red flag for me as I don't really know the circumstances of what my mother did, but she wasn't with her husband when I was conceived but was in the middle of a divorce and my father had a relationship with her for some time.
So, I really don't feel comfortable making contact. I'm afraid the door would just get slammed in my face. The photographs show that he's been a good father to them both and loves his grand children. Just having seen them in photographs is enough for me. Through them I've found my mothers twin brother, the spitting image of the only two images I have of my mother. When I was born her sister was there and made friends with my adoptive parents but once I was signed over my father made the choice of severing contact so that I didn't get confused growing up - I believe I've found my aunt - 99.9% sure that it's her.
I'm not ready emotionally to make my first contact but I have been losing so much sleep over this its unreal. I have a massive family on my mothers side - like 9-10 siblings that my mother had. I'm most definitely Hawaiian - and I've always leaned towards that feeling pride in my heritage. I may not have physically grown up there, or with my Hawaiian family, but goodness. We're all brown! People look like me! I don't feel so awkward about my appearance any longer - my traits really run through my family lines and it's made me really proud to be who I am. It's odd admitting that just from photographs and knowing that they exist and are truly out there.
They're all over Hawaii, California, some in Kentucky, and Nevada. Things just got so real to me and I'm so sorry Ive been massively aloof. If I haven't been drawing, I've been searching or staring at my ceiling hoping sleep will come.
I'm still squealing. Yeeeee! And a huge thank you to the one person who trusted me enough to help me search. You've been such a massive help to me even if I couldn't find anything through the newspaper services. x
Take things at your own pace. I found my birth mother's contact information and called, we spent 2 hours on the phone that night talking before we both had to go.
I am helping a friend try to locate her birth mother right now, if you need more help locating anyone I can try to assist once I'm done with this search. Send me a note if there's anything I can do or if you just want to talk about it anytime.
You're a blessing to your friend, and to your family. <3 Thank you so very much. ;^; x
I do hope that if you have any small bits of information that you'll be able to do some searching here and there. I tried ancestry.com's free trial and was able to find my certificate of birth (not my adopted one, but the original which -should- have been court ordered sealed away) and then my mothers death information. :< <3
All in time I do hope it works out for you with them when you do make that massive leap to make contact with them and hopefully you all get to know each other better in the future.