Critiques Requested! --Please read!--
10 years ago
General
Hey guys!
So as you may have noticed, I've been writing again. Happy to do it, its been feeling good as I write and I've been happy with the results. I've noticed that the last 3 stories haven't garnered the usual attention, however. As a writer, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't at least 35% attention whore--why would I be posting this stuff publicly if I wasn't!?--and that 35% is just curious.
With that in mind, I'd love it if you guys used this journal as a means to critique my work. People are reading it, but a view counter doesn't tell me much, and favourites typically don't reflect the actual reception of a story!
What do you like?
What don't you like?
Do the narrative styles detract from the story? Add to them?
Are you finding the themes over-done, or repetitive?
Let me know! I want to grow, and I can't grow if I don't know where I need to improve.
I'd also like to hear what people want out of streaming. I enjoy writing for an audience, and I find I do my best work while streaming. It's something I want to do more of, but it seems to have a very limited appeal. I'd love to hear what would get you interested in sitting in. Music? Chat? Let me know!
So as you may have noticed, I've been writing again. Happy to do it, its been feeling good as I write and I've been happy with the results. I've noticed that the last 3 stories haven't garnered the usual attention, however. As a writer, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't at least 35% attention whore--why would I be posting this stuff publicly if I wasn't!?--and that 35% is just curious.
With that in mind, I'd love it if you guys used this journal as a means to critique my work. People are reading it, but a view counter doesn't tell me much, and favourites typically don't reflect the actual reception of a story!
What do you like?
What don't you like?
Do the narrative styles detract from the story? Add to them?
Are you finding the themes over-done, or repetitive?
Let me know! I want to grow, and I can't grow if I don't know where I need to improve.
I'd also like to hear what people want out of streaming. I enjoy writing for an audience, and I find I do my best work while streaming. It's something I want to do more of, but it seems to have a very limited appeal. I'd love to hear what would get you interested in sitting in. Music? Chat? Let me know!
FA+

As for your recent stories, I am afraid I haven't seen them. I've been dealing with having all of my browsers stop working, and am actually on a fresh install of attempt 3: Google Chrome as of this writing.
And that's alright, man. Hope you sort out your browsers. If it's a virus, may be deep enough to warrant a restore, or back-up & format.
What I like is... climaxing in speedos, underwater on not (especially high-cut speedos). Speedos are a HUGE fetish of mine and they're actually the reason I subscribed to you! I LOVE the things you've done involving speedos, including those stories involving the "Mistress"! I also like hypnosis, tentacles, leotards and loincloths.
What I don't like is nudity and sex, to be honest. I tend to be unphased by it, being asexual.
Personally, I can't really think of anything you do that I would consider repetitive, unless you count all the sports and competition, but I'm absolutely fine with that! In fact, I LOVE all the sports and competition! To me, nothing beats being a loser in a speedo!
But it's your art, so please don't let me tell you what to make!
I worry sometimes that people are getting bored of what amounts to the same themes, but with different decorations. I may dig up a few of my older series', however, and add new parts to them. Will have to see!
I really enjoyed drop the beat's story last night.
I'm a fan of violence, degradation, public humiliation and snuff.
I enjoyed the concept. It was inventive on a lot of levels.
The cords, the glass floor, the way the final push ended them (except that surprisingly resilient otter... the first time anyways).
I enjoyed the concept of the fighting but I felt like it was hard to tell what was going on in the action and found myself having to refer to the character index at the top.
I kind of wished they'd been introduced as they started to grapple with eachother and that more "otter" or "gryphon" descriptors were tossed in more often to help me keep em straight.
I don't have much reference on how the themes are overused or not but I think that's a thing that's going to happen regardless of context.
Ideas can be the same, its the execution that matters. If the dance floor thing happened again, mixing up how the fighters fight still makes it an engaging concept.
I actually found myself wishing there was a little more payoff for the winner in the story I read though.
You've just been fighting for your life and now you're the victor among 7 lesser corpses. I expected him to show off a little or get blown... or something.
Maybe even degrade the last corpse a little by fuckin' it or tossing the guy off the ledge for completion's sake.
But then we're probably delving further into my fetishes *chuckles*
I'm a writer too. Mebbe we'll have to collab sometime.
First of all, I'm glad you decided to give one of my stories a read. I'm doubly glad that you enjoyed it!
A lot of your "I wishes" are things I wish I could have done too, but I think including them would have made this beast even more of a nightmare to put together. The characters were introduced so that--as a reader--you could use it as a reference. A quick glance at the start reminds you of a basic visual image of what Ket, or Vox looks like. I wanted to dedicate the bulk of the story to the fight, and introducing 8 characters in anything but a somewhat mechanical way would have been a story unto itself, haha. I can definitely look into more species descriptors, however! That's the kind of thing I love to hear. As the author, I know what I wanted to say because I've got the mental image to back up the writing; someone just coming in obviously doesn't have as clear a picture, however, so I need to hear whether or not people understood the action as it unfolded.
As for the ending? Yeah. I feel you. I'll be straight up, I've never hidden the fact that I don't enjoy writing sex scenes much, especially rape & necrophilia ones. My interest is the fetish aspect, and while sex scenes do pop up, they aren't something I'll plan to add. I'm not razzing anyone who's into those things, since I'm hardly some puritan myself, mind you.
Throwing the corpse off of the edge would have been a nice touch though, full credit, wish I'd thought of that. ;)
And maybe! I'm just getting back into the groove of writing again after a lengthy slow-down in production. Got a few things on the burners at the moment, but I think a collab could be an interesting thing to try sometime!