I'm not ungrateful for the one I've got...yet I find myself trying to find something(anything) to think about so I won't be depressed that I'm going to be stuck inside until 9:30 @ night. Something to distract me so I can put in my time and just go the fuck home and do the same tomorrow. I'm not really present when I'm there, people act strangely offended when you won't take their 20 year old business books, books that are falling apart or just generally crap. They tend to be mean or cause issues that could potentially get me in trouble. Dealing with people is exhausting. I need to do something else and something that pays better. I can't leave until I find something new because our rent is too high, and well, if you quit your job here....there's no guaranteed new ones, unless I want to jump right back into the retail/public service world again. No degree, no special skills, no jobs have ever paid me more than $9something an hr with no benefits. We live paycheck to paycheck with no savings account and no safety net. I know, I know, it's still pretty decent...still, when I look @ it I think-what the hell am I doing with my life, aside from serving a self-inflicted life sentence for a semi-livable wage? -silence- yikes.


I was talking to my mate this morning though and who knows, between the two of us, maybe I can get something different that pays enough for us to live on. I wouldn't even care if it didn't pay much more than I make now if it were something I actually liked. Ehhhh, we'll see. Sorry for whining.