so this week be in bed barely awake on the mend,


i had a tummy infection which ment everytime i ate/ injescted anything id sit there and ntohign would happen and then my body would panic and i blow chimera chow up in my once pretty bin....

i kept doign stuff like, water or a bite or two of a bannna or a cup of soup or bite of toast...

thats all i ate for 5-6 days durrign which i was awake for like.. 10 hours collectively
i woke upa bunch of times to sip on water but i didnt even freaking pee i was tht dehydrated.




so the hallucinations

im not sure where being not fully awake/ hallucinating begins

but when i woke up i could hear shit like skrillex music.. and it wasnt playing, or a hoover, or whispers, or a shit tonn of cats meowing... i was so terrified i didnt say anything for the first dozzen times to wolfie cus i was scared i was goign crazy >.>

then i keps hereing wierd noises not voices.. thnk god

then there were times i was wakeign up and i saw like.. i dunno how to describe it but i was SEEING my pain .. it was an experince and lemme tell you i was in constant paidn runnign horrid fevers and shivvering for a few days

it was like i could (and im graspign at straws on how to discribe this semi conscious state of pain crazy fever induced nuttiness) like the spine of an asian dragon make of broken glass and rusted metal pieces from boats and planes and other debry and i never saw the full dragon spine let alone the creature and it was constantly swisting horridly and makeing metal screatchy noises and bit where breakign and crumbling


well eyah it was terrifying

fucking TERRIFYING and i cried constantly msotly silently

my wolfie said i was oncoherient for a few days other that the odd hour where hedhere me tryign to get out fo bed (to fall down and be unable to supportmyseld) and he'd help me to the restroom ina fail attempt to pass water, and then table for a fail attempt to eat.

i thouhgt i mgiht die,

but seen the doctor, on 2 different anti biotics, confirned my kidneys are bleeding, the thing in my kidney is probably inflained hence the shit tonne of pain i had corse through my body when she did the tap tap thing on my fuckign left kidney which made me curle into fetal positing ont he examination tabel like a little bitch.. she looked worried it was kidna funny afterwards,

im eatign for the past few days which is good but im still not even 50% and now iv missed 2 more days of college, and now im behined on coursework.

i hurt all over even with these nromally awesome painkillers,

and i still cant sleep properly

so thts why iv been ton sorry folks,

also i now have a week to pack, week as anything (barely get up the stares) and going to technically homeless (got a place to stay temporarily)