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It's all fucked up
10 years ago
General
Although some days I've considered my recovery strong, today is not one of those days
I lost my best friend at the beginning of this year, and while I've been reaching out and meeting many new, kind people as a result of suggestion, I'm in basically the prime definition of a relapse
I've missed about 85% of my classes this semester, I haven't made any relationships of worth in my program, and my irrational fear of driving has kept me from visiting my parents, my friends at home, as well as my psychiatrist. I don't even have the necessary prescriptions to get the meds I need right now.
I've lashed out at and harassed innocent people in anger, and I've been quiet with people who need me because losing key friendships has set my anxious personality disorder into overdrive. I haven't had legitimate suicidal thoughts in years, but this is closest I've ever been since.
I don't know what to do.
I lost my best friend at the beginning of this year, and while I've been reaching out and meeting many new, kind people as a result of suggestion, I'm in basically the prime definition of a relapse
I've missed about 85% of my classes this semester, I haven't made any relationships of worth in my program, and my irrational fear of driving has kept me from visiting my parents, my friends at home, as well as my psychiatrist. I don't even have the necessary prescriptions to get the meds I need right now.
I've lashed out at and harassed innocent people in anger, and I've been quiet with people who need me because losing key friendships has set my anxious personality disorder into overdrive. I haven't had legitimate suicidal thoughts in years, but this is closest I've ever been since.
I don't know what to do.
Thanks Mal, I'll see if I can call my doc about getting in an emergency supply or something
Getting it off my chest was perhaps the most important thing, and it's made talking about it easier and more "real" and capable of confrontation in my mind, so.... basically just talking about it may have been the most important part
Both you and Slug are nice people and I'm brightened by your input on my situation, and I still do hope to meet you sometime, through a con or otherwise c:
I definitely wanna meet, hang out, etc.! And I really really sure as fuck hope you can get what you need to get where you oughta be. I'm lucky in that I can only sympathize with the difficulty of it, I can't empathize fully since I haven't been there, but I have watched Slug struggle through a lot of it, so at least from that I know it's fuckin' awful and can be utterly smothering in so many ways. I really hope you can find a way to get past that, though, so you can focus more on being you and enjoying everything you can in life.
I actually just asked Snao a few weeks back if he'd gotten any word from you, hah, I thought you had dropped away for good and I missed talking to ya
Either way, it's good to get some affirmation from my peers and my friends, I feel like things are much more doable now and not so out of my hands, I hope that everything has been well on your end and I'm genuinely sorry for any similar bullshit that you've had to drudge through to get to where you are today, it's not fun, plain and simple
Not everyone makes connections in schools or work environments, don't worry so much about that.