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My PSA about Relationships: All about *Responsibility*
10 years ago
General
Often times I get asked "How have you and Nikolai made it work for all these years?" Well, most would respond with things like "they love each other," or "the sex must be awesome," or "they must share a bunch of interests." Well, while it is true that these are very nice aspects to possess in a relationship, these are not what I believe is the most important aspect.
I believe above all, taking RESPONSIBILITY for your actions and surroundings is one of the most important keys in a relationship. Why? It's because life happens - life requires that you DO stuff. Life requires that you earn money, pay the bills, cook food, maintain a healthy lifestyle, do the dishes and laundry, clean up the messes, fix up the house, and so much more.
I do not intend to be sexist when I say this, but I have come to realize the importance of the role of the traditional "housewife." One half of the couple goes out to earn the money, while the other half stays at home to tend to all the other crap that life requires to maintain a household. And while I certainly encourage both men and women to not conform to a certain stereotype, I acknowledge that this old-fashioned balance of stay-at-home mom and working dad is a relationship strategy that WORKS! When both my partner and I work full-time jobs, I find it difficult to maintain the household - I just don't have the time to take care of all the chores, while still enjoying my geeky lifestyle (playing RPGs for hours and going to conventions 10+ times a year). When I've been in between jobs, I've realized that I've taken on the role of the classic "housewife", and while I hate calling myself that, at the end of the day I enjoy the hard work I've done to keep order in our household. And it helps keep our relationship going.
So, what is my takeaway message? I am saying it is not enough to just "be in love" with someone. It's one thing to love someone - it's another to live with him/her and devise a living plan that works. Are you ready to take responsibility for your relationship?
I believe above all, taking RESPONSIBILITY for your actions and surroundings is one of the most important keys in a relationship. Why? It's because life happens - life requires that you DO stuff. Life requires that you earn money, pay the bills, cook food, maintain a healthy lifestyle, do the dishes and laundry, clean up the messes, fix up the house, and so much more.
I do not intend to be sexist when I say this, but I have come to realize the importance of the role of the traditional "housewife." One half of the couple goes out to earn the money, while the other half stays at home to tend to all the other crap that life requires to maintain a household. And while I certainly encourage both men and women to not conform to a certain stereotype, I acknowledge that this old-fashioned balance of stay-at-home mom and working dad is a relationship strategy that WORKS! When both my partner and I work full-time jobs, I find it difficult to maintain the household - I just don't have the time to take care of all the chores, while still enjoying my geeky lifestyle (playing RPGs for hours and going to conventions 10+ times a year). When I've been in between jobs, I've realized that I've taken on the role of the classic "housewife", and while I hate calling myself that, at the end of the day I enjoy the hard work I've done to keep order in our household. And it helps keep our relationship going.
So, what is my takeaway message? I am saying it is not enough to just "be in love" with someone. It's one thing to love someone - it's another to live with him/her and devise a living plan that works. Are you ready to take responsibility for your relationship?
