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the truth
10 years ago
i know almost no one will read this so i have nothing to fear about being judged.
i am in the middle of a divorce that weighs heavy on my heart. my ex is taking it hard, but doesnt see how hard it is to me, because i am the one that wanted the divorce.
for me i am loosing a best friend and support for so much of what i need, even to survive normally. but i know she is feeling loss too in other ways, and i truly wish that i could make her better.. sadly we cant be around each other. i havent seen her in weeks. i am in my mom and dad's house and she has the apartment. i think that is best right now. i dont have a tv but i dont need one at this moment. i dont have all my stuff, but i will eventually. i will happily support her in whatever way i can.. it is just hard.
i am going to take my name off the lease and get the last of my stuff this saturday before work.
that is another thing i am lucky to have right now. i got a job. tomorrow morning i am going to my orientation at the main office with the rest of the newbies. it is quite far away and i dont drive, so this is hard, but luckily it only happens once, then all the rest of the training is in store. the store is 15 min walk from my house so it is real easy to get too. my old boss is still there and she got me the interview, and i was hired almost on the spot :) i love that woman, she is such a good friend. i will be working nights and mid afternoons because no one wants those schedules, and i love them. but i wont be able to see my family nearly as much because they are going to have day schedules instead... i wont be seeing almost anyone for a while. my art will take a dive, worse than it already has... depression and work... not good for an artistic mindset unless i have time to get it out.. which i doubt i will for a while. maybe once i am able to get used to the schedules. i will be working on art as much as i can.. but not as much as i would want. i need better income and benefits.. my meds are thousands of dollars on their own, so i need some way to get them cheap. after all i only work 24 hours a week, and i have to pay for rent, and food (my choice not my parents') and doctor visits...
i have the best parents and family in the world. they welcomed me back with open arms and i love them for it.
the nightmares are still there, off and on... the stress is big, but i think that my new job will help with that (distraction). and i hope to learn to drive someday soon.. that will open up real possibilities in the future.
it is my life now. time to live it. make good memories and keep good friends.
i love you all.
i am in the middle of a divorce that weighs heavy on my heart. my ex is taking it hard, but doesnt see how hard it is to me, because i am the one that wanted the divorce.
for me i am loosing a best friend and support for so much of what i need, even to survive normally. but i know she is feeling loss too in other ways, and i truly wish that i could make her better.. sadly we cant be around each other. i havent seen her in weeks. i am in my mom and dad's house and she has the apartment. i think that is best right now. i dont have a tv but i dont need one at this moment. i dont have all my stuff, but i will eventually. i will happily support her in whatever way i can.. it is just hard.
i am going to take my name off the lease and get the last of my stuff this saturday before work.
that is another thing i am lucky to have right now. i got a job. tomorrow morning i am going to my orientation at the main office with the rest of the newbies. it is quite far away and i dont drive, so this is hard, but luckily it only happens once, then all the rest of the training is in store. the store is 15 min walk from my house so it is real easy to get too. my old boss is still there and she got me the interview, and i was hired almost on the spot :) i love that woman, she is such a good friend. i will be working nights and mid afternoons because no one wants those schedules, and i love them. but i wont be able to see my family nearly as much because they are going to have day schedules instead... i wont be seeing almost anyone for a while. my art will take a dive, worse than it already has... depression and work... not good for an artistic mindset unless i have time to get it out.. which i doubt i will for a while. maybe once i am able to get used to the schedules. i will be working on art as much as i can.. but not as much as i would want. i need better income and benefits.. my meds are thousands of dollars on their own, so i need some way to get them cheap. after all i only work 24 hours a week, and i have to pay for rent, and food (my choice not my parents') and doctor visits...
i have the best parents and family in the world. they welcomed me back with open arms and i love them for it.
the nightmares are still there, off and on... the stress is big, but i think that my new job will help with that (distraction). and i hope to learn to drive someday soon.. that will open up real possibilities in the future.
it is my life now. time to live it. make good memories and keep good friends.
i love you all.
STAY STRONG!!!
You are a great guy and I really hope for the best for you! Just keep moving along. There are surely better things to come in time
*offers all of the hugs*
i think you are right.. i just have to really girp them myself.. it is depressing and stressful, but i have good friends *points to you as one* that support me.. i couldnt be more blessed
everything will be fine...I can imagine the hurt,stress and struggle this brings but there will be brighter days for the both of you. just find ways to be happy! dont stick to long in the past for you will never have a future if you linger there
and too true... it is hard, but i am ready for a future.. i hope that i can handle my new job and i hope i can move up in the ranks.. i hope i will make enough to pay for my meds.. as is i can only pay for half. but luckily i am still under my exs' insurance. being that way i get my meds real cheap...