I'm getting a little worried about my back injury. Last week, I was loading dishes into the dishwasher, when I suddenly received a tremendous pain shoot through my entire spinal cord. Those of you that know me well enough also know that I've been suffering lumbar strain in my spine since 2000, and as long as I took things easy, I would be able to slowly become more physically active without overexerting my body beyond my own realm of pain.

Last week, I was really surprised that it happened, and it sort of feels like bone-against-bone in the affected area. I hope that my suspicions aren't correct, but I am a little frightened about the possibility. Since then, I've been unable to really leave the house since I live up on the third floor of my apartment complex. I was able to make it to the Morphicon staff meeting with no problem. Still had great difficulty getting in and out of the car, plus I couldn't sit for very long without lumbar support, but I did manage to make it through. That night, LolindirFox came by as per our plan to head out to Karaoke, and before the night was over, even while taking drinks of alcohol to help kill the pain in my back, I was in a far worse condition from sitting at the bar stool, constantly moving up and down for a cigarette break or to sing a song. I made the most of my songs, since a performer's motto is to never let them see you sweat. Well, I wasn't sweating a bit, but the pain grew very excruciating before the night was over. We left a little early that night, and getting into the car was a bit of a challenge. Getting out of the car at the apartment complex was an even greater task, for the pains in my back grew way too unbearable. I had LatexFox run upstairs to get my walking stick so I can make the stairs, and I couldn't even see from the tears in my eyes from the pain. Fortunately, I lightly tapped a parked truck in the parking lot being unable to see where to go. LolindirFox came along the other side of me and supported me all the way to my door. It was a slow process to get me there, but I eventually made it by forcing myself to be strong enough to walk up the stairs, and channeling the pain I felt in my back into energy for my legs to keep moving. Lolindir even tried to rub my back in an effort to alleviate any pain I was feeling. (Thank you muchly for the help, Loli. *hugs*)

I sat in my chair for a bit to let the lumbar support ease my back pain before getting up again, and fortunately I can get up and move around again without assistance. The bad thing is that it's starting to feel like I have a new realm of pain to consider "average", and it's a lot greater than what I had to deal with before. I'm really hoping that my suspicions about the spinal cord is incorrect, and that it's just one of those things I'll be spending in recovery for a few months until I get better. I'm really really hoping that it does get better and I can go back to being more physical around the house.

I admit that I don't hardly show depression at all, and I try to shake any of it away by being outgoing with an energetic personality, while holding onto a brighter tomorrow, but ever since my accident, I'm finding myself in a greater league of depression than I've ever felt in my life. I just so much as think of the pain, the injury, and what my predicament has turned me into and the tears always seem to immediately follow. After all, what does one do when he was once very physically fit and active, now almost completely curtailed to just sitting in a chair most of the day. I can't even sit on the couch long enough to enjoy my roommates' company before I have to get back on my chair to recuperate, and I also feel really bad about not being strong enough to spend any time with them. The couch isn't in the greatest of shape, and definitely not meant for someone with a lumbar injury to sit upon for too long. I even had to rely on Halfshell to help me up out of the couch after I've settled down.

And what do I go and do as a result of it? I go and download something I swore up and down I would never even touch, just to get over the boredom of having to sit here all the time. I will definitely remember not to go Karaoke singing until my back pains subside, assuming they will after up to five months in recovery, and I will certainly not be able to do any housework until then, so I have a lot of time on my dino claws. I figured, "Why not? Enough people tried to get me to join the SL craze, and I couldn't do it because I had little to no time to spare." Well, that's not the case anymore, at least until I can recover.

So if you see a stray dinosaur looking much like what you see in my latest gallery post wandering aimlessly around SL looking for something to preoccupy his time (or any of the number of avatars I may be sporting at the time), don't be afraid to stop and chat a while. I won't bark, and I won't bite, unless you want me to, and then I'll do it nice and gentle. Us Dilophosauri weren't known for having strong jaws anyway, so it would probably be a little "love nip". *nip nip*

I'll be there as SonicBlu Darkfold, if anyone wishes to add me and maybe show me around some of the clubbing scenes when I'm not camping for lindens.