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What a saga this past week has been
10 years ago
General
On Saturday, I get in trouble with Greenendorf, and have a panic attack, triggered by the recursive anxiety of suddenly realizing my situation but not knowing how to fix it. I also have a minor finger bleed, which is usually no big deal and easy to treat.
On Sunday, I discreetly try to mend what I can of the embarrassment, and hope it blows over. My finger is infected, and it's not really healing at the moment because the deluge of cortisol from the panic attack is suppressing my immune system.
On Monday, my panic attack subsides, and I hope everything will be okay if I learn from my mistakes. My finger is still infected, but I still hope I can get it to drain without seeing a doctor.
On Tuesday, I try to fave another Greenendorf art, only to find out I've been blocked. A second panic attack is triggered immediately, and grows to be worse than the first one. I resolve to send Greenendorf a proper, sober apology, but only when my panic attack is over - until then, I'm not "sober" enough to think or act clearly.
On Wednesday, my panic attack continues with a vengeance. My finger is only getting worse.
On Thursday, my panic attack is starting to subside, but in my sobriety, I realize it may not be kosher to send an apology to someone who has already made the decision to block me - it would be just too rude. I feel discouraged, but I talk to several of my friends and generally friendly people I know, and it helps put things in perspective. I gradually become resigned to the simple logic of the situation.
On Friday, I visit the doctor in the morning to examine my worsening finger infection, and my finger is pretty swollen. He says the infection has now buried itself too deep for a simple clinic surgery, and I'm prescribed antibiotics. They apparently aren't the antibiotics of first choice, because of my known allergies to certain other medications. I take my first dose, but it makes my mind feel like mush. Half a day later I take my second dose, and the mush multiplies, and I plunge into a strong depression. I quickly recognize it's being caused by the antibiotic, because this same thing once happened before with an antifungal.
Today, after consulting to my father, I decide to completely stop the antibiotic and not take a third dose. He actually kindly takes away the pill bottle so I can't even accidentally take a third dose when I take my other meds. My finger is still infected, and still needs to be treated. But we can't talk to the doctor again until Monday, and may not be able to see him again until some unknown time after that, so I'll have to take care of my finger the old-fashioned way (less sugar, more vitamin C) and hope it doesn't keep getting worse. But if worse comes to worst, the emergency room is technically still an option. Thank heavens for health coverage.
All things considered, my week could have been better.
On Sunday, I discreetly try to mend what I can of the embarrassment, and hope it blows over. My finger is infected, and it's not really healing at the moment because the deluge of cortisol from the panic attack is suppressing my immune system.
On Monday, my panic attack subsides, and I hope everything will be okay if I learn from my mistakes. My finger is still infected, but I still hope I can get it to drain without seeing a doctor.
On Tuesday, I try to fave another Greenendorf art, only to find out I've been blocked. A second panic attack is triggered immediately, and grows to be worse than the first one. I resolve to send Greenendorf a proper, sober apology, but only when my panic attack is over - until then, I'm not "sober" enough to think or act clearly.
On Wednesday, my panic attack continues with a vengeance. My finger is only getting worse.
On Thursday, my panic attack is starting to subside, but in my sobriety, I realize it may not be kosher to send an apology to someone who has already made the decision to block me - it would be just too rude. I feel discouraged, but I talk to several of my friends and generally friendly people I know, and it helps put things in perspective. I gradually become resigned to the simple logic of the situation.
On Friday, I visit the doctor in the morning to examine my worsening finger infection, and my finger is pretty swollen. He says the infection has now buried itself too deep for a simple clinic surgery, and I'm prescribed antibiotics. They apparently aren't the antibiotics of first choice, because of my known allergies to certain other medications. I take my first dose, but it makes my mind feel like mush. Half a day later I take my second dose, and the mush multiplies, and I plunge into a strong depression. I quickly recognize it's being caused by the antibiotic, because this same thing once happened before with an antifungal.
Today, after consulting to my father, I decide to completely stop the antibiotic and not take a third dose. He actually kindly takes away the pill bottle so I can't even accidentally take a third dose when I take my other meds. My finger is still infected, and still needs to be treated. But we can't talk to the doctor again until Monday, and may not be able to see him again until some unknown time after that, so I'll have to take care of my finger the old-fashioned way (less sugar, more vitamin C) and hope it doesn't keep getting worse. But if worse comes to worst, the emergency room is technically still an option. Thank heavens for health coverage.
All things considered, my week could have been better.
