In the beginning Cosgrove created a meat sandwich, and it was without taste, very bland, and the cheese was still wrapped in single plastic. And the spirit of the cosgrove moved upon the face of the sandwich. And cosgrove said "Let there be mayo", and there was mayo. He took a bite and saw that it was good. Cosgrove saw everything he had made and behold it was very good indeed, and he spread mustard in all it's glory. Then cosgrove looked down upon the sandwich he created, and saw that the flies had gathered around to fight over it, and he spoke onto them "Hey! Cut it out!" and so they left. Thus he created ten commandments.

1. Thou shall bring cosgrove a can of hash.
2. Thou shall go out for a mint.
3. Thou shalt eat a lot of meat.
4. Thou shalt not touch the cosgrove's sandwich, to do so would bring about his wrath.
5. Thou shall stay away from poo gas, for it is very smelly.
6. Thou shalt always question what cosgrove would do.
7. Thou shalt not make fun of shriners driving tiny cars.
8. Thou shalt watch bears ride motorcycles.
9. Thou shalt stay away from spooky clouds, for evil clowns lurk among them.
10. Thou shalt not drink coffee, for it shall make your tummy urpy.