Fan Fiction: “The Unconventional Challenge”

Warning: Self- induced furry drama. Sensitive furries need not read further.

"Welcome to Project Runway! In the world of fashion, one day you’re in- the next, you’re out!”

[Heidi Klum enters runway]

Heidi: Hello again, contestants."
Contestants: "Hello, Heidi!"

[Contestants:]

Kenket, Kody-the-Fox, dreamwindow, FurryBob, wufflecomic and artdecade

Heidi: "The number is dwindling. There are only six of you left. But six is a lucky number, because we have an extra special challenge for you. Perhaps you have heard the slogan: ‘I would rather go naked than wear fur.’”
Kenket: *Giggle*
Furrybob: “Groan”
Artdecade: “Nooooo…”
Heidi: “Well, we are going to flip it around for you. You wouldn’t want your models to go naked, would you? It’s time for your models to wear fur… lots of fur. In fact, it’s going to get quite furry around here.”
Dreamwindow: “Squeal”
Heidi: “It’s finally time for our unconventional challenge. Models, come on out.”

[Six fursuiters walk out on to the runway]

Contestants: “Oh my Goddddd…”
Heidi: “Let me introduce our models for this challenge:”

LavShep, FayV, KenovaWolf, Dragoneer, dershep and Fender

Heidi: “Before you are six fursuiters. As you may know, fursuits are worn by something called ‘furries’. But these furries have decided that their fursuits are tired and in need of a makeover. And we agree. You must use these fursuits as the raw material for your challenge. Your task is to turn these furry castoffs into couture outfits for your models to wear.”
Contestants: “Unngghhh...”
Heidi: “It is time to choose your models.”
[Tim Gunn comes out with the black bag]
Tim Gunn: “Hello, designers.”
Heidi: “Kenket, since you won the last challenge, you pick first.”
Kenket: “Um… kenovaWolf”
FurryBob whispers: “That’s the one I wanted!”
Heidi: “Next we have… Wufflecomic.”
Wufflecomic: “Me love you long time, Miss Heidi.”
Heidi: “Thank you… again Wufflecomic. Now choose a fursuit.”
Wufflecomic: “Fender, please.”
Heidi: “FurryBob”
Furrybob: “FayV”
Heidi: “Kody-the-Fox”
Kody-the-Fox: “Do you like my scuba gear?”
Heidi: “Yes, I like your scuba gear. Now choose.”
Kody-the-Fox: “None of them have scuba gear.”
Heidi: “Pick one anyway”
Kody-the-Fox: “Ok, Um… Der.”
Heidi: “Artdecade”
Artdecade: “Oh, man, you took the cute one… Shit…. I’ll take Lav.”
Heidi: “That means Dreamwindow has Dragoneer.”
Dreamwindow and Dragoneer: *Each waves sheepishly at the other and mouths: “Good Lord… what am I going to do with that hot mess?”*

Heidi: “For this challenge you will have one day and a budget of 100 dollars. Kenket, you are the winner of last week’s challenge- and therefore have immunity. But going forward in the competition, there will no longer be immunity for the winner.
Contestants: “Gasp!”
Tim Gunn: “You will have 30 minutes to consult with your models in the work room, after which we will go off to Mood…
~

In the work room….

Tim Gunn: “Kody-the-Fox, I see you have Der.”
Kody-the-Fox: “What do you like most about his scuba gear?”
Tim Gunn: “Kody… Der doesn’t have any scuba gear.”
Kody-the-Fox: *looks at Der* “He needs scuba gear.”
Tim Gunn: “So you are going for an aquatic inspiration with Der’s fursuit?”
Kody-the-Fox: “Der is my Canadian fursuit. Because my Der character is from Canada.”
Tim Gunn: “Canada? Yikes! The Caribbean would be a better direction. This lavender color is… garish, but an ‘under the sea’ theme might give it some new life. Carry on.”

Tim Gunn: “Artdecade, I see you have also have Der… Oh, wait-
*Tim Gunn glances back at Der.*
Tim Gunn: “Der is the cute one- so this must be Lav. Talk about ‘matchy-matchy’.
Artdecade: “I know, right?”
Tim Gunn: “So really you have the same issues as Kody.”
Artdecade: *looking with indignation at the lavender fursuit.* “hmm…yeah.”
Tim Gunn: “How… ever are you going to tame this color?”
Artdecade: “I’m going to stain the fabric, Tim.”
Tim Gunn: “Yeah, in this case, that’s a good idea. Were you thinking a solid color or perhaps an ombre?”
Artdecade: “Um… the way I stain all my fabrics, Tim. I get a bunch of bears to cum all over it.”
Tim Gunn: “You know you can’t have any outside help with this…”
Dreamwindow: “Don’t worry Tim, there’s enough bears in the room already.” *snicker*
Tim Gunn: “Good God… I honestly suspect that fursuit has been stained with cum a few times before… but maybe this time it will stick. Carry on.”

Tim Gunn: “Moving on to FurryBob. You have FayV’s suit. Now, compared to some the other fursuits, the color palette on this one is… somewhat more manageable. Is that why you chose it?”
FurryBob: “I gravitate toward a clean, unencumbered palette, which is what drew me to FayV.”
Tim Gunn: “Are you going to carry that aesthetic through in your redesign?”
FurryBob: “That’s exactly what I’m going to do, Tim.”
Tim Gunn: “Show me your sketch.”
*FurryBob shows off his sketch.*
Tim Gunn: “This looks very similar to your last sketch.”
FurryBob: “I only have one sketch. It’s the same sketch I showed you the last seven times.”
Tim Gunn: “I see… how are you going to make this fursuit stand out from your previous garments?”
FurryBob: “Why would I do that?”
Tim Gunn: “Point well taken. I’ll let you get back to work.”

Tim Gunn: “Dreamwindow-
Dreamwindow: “Help! Tim!”
Tim Gunn: “Good Lord, you’re going to need it. *examines Dragoneer’s fursuit.* You have your work cut out for you. How can I help?”
Dreamwindow: “I’m working on my list and I could use some input.”
Tim Gunn: “A list of things to buy at Mood?”
Dreamwindow: “What? No! A list of people who did me wrong! I want my revenge!
Tim Gunn: “… That’s not the purpose of the competition…”
Dreamwindow: “I will not be held hostage to your hidden agenda, Tim. I may be nobody here but I will not be ignored! Will you mentor me or not?”
Tim Gunn: “I sense some hostility. Did I do something to offend you?”
Dreamwindow: “Why does everybody ask me that? You exist. And you irritate me. That’s reason enough.”
Tim Gunn: “I’m sensing some deeper issues here.”
Dreamwindow: “You mean that nobody loves me? You’re damn right. Where are all my watchers to tell me how ‘awesome’ I am?”
Tim Gunn: “somebody needs a hug.”
Dreamwindow: “Fuck you, Tim.”
Tim Gunn: “You are very lucky I have a fondness for big bears. Carry on.”

Tim Gunn: “Next we have Kenket with KenovaWolf. You really have some lovely material to work with. Are you going to keep with the black and white tones of the fur?”
Kenket: I am Blotch. You must love me now.”
Tim Gunn: “Uh… yes we all love you, Kenket. Now why don’t we have a look at your fabric choices…”
Kenket: “I am Blotch. You will bow to me!”
Tim Gunn: “Your talent is not in question, but you’re hardly Christian Siriano…”
Kenket: “I am beloved by all. I am everyone’s favorite. You will all watch and obey… I am Blotch.”
Tim Gunn: “So you are. Just remember that you have a monotone color palate, which is fine- but don’t bore Nina.”
Kenket: “I am Blotch! Nina must love me!”
Tim Gunn: “You seem quite sure of yourself. Continue.”

Tim Gunn: “Finally, we have Wufflecomic with…”
Fender: “Help, help! He’s trying to kill me!”
*Tim Gunn approaches* “What is all this racket?”
Fender: “Dude is going after me with a meat cleaver!”
Tim Gunn: I’m sure Wufflecomic is just eager to disassemble the fursuit.
Fender: “Yeah, with me in it.”
*Furrybob snickers*
Tim Gunn: Wufflecomic, what was your intention?”
Wufflecomic: “What you mean?”
Tim Gunn: “What do you want to do with the fursuit?”
Wufflecomic: “I want cut dog into pieces, but dog keep moving from me.”
Tim Gunn: “You mean you want cut up the Fender fursuit, not Fender… of course. Oh, is this what you are using to cut the fur? *Tim examines the cleaver* “Yowiee! That’s huge. Are you using this to get a shredded effect on the fur?”
Wufflecomic: “What? I want cut up dog and put in hot pot for restaurant. Is look taste good for eating.”
Tim Gunn: No, no. Fender is not a dog. Fender is a human being. Although, admittedly the evidence is lacking for that right now. Fender, why don’t you take off the fursuit, please?”
*Fender takes off the suit*
Wufflecomic: “Ohhhhh”
Tim Gunn: “See?”
Wufflecomic: “Oh I so sorry of you. Me love you long time, Tim.”
Tim Gunn: “Why don’t you give Dreamwindow some of that love. He needs it more than I do. Oy.”
~

The confessional:

Artdecade: “Oh my God, I am sooo glad I didn’t get stuck with Dragoneer’s suit. That is so far from my aesthetic. I don’t know what I would have done with that. But Dreamwindow’s been whining like a little bitch about it all day. You got screwed over- just suck it up.”

Dreamwindow: “When I got Dragoneer’s costume- I mean… fursuit… It’s like I could hear the vultures circling. *Swats at imaginary vultures* “Cah…Caaah… is that what vultures sound like?”

Kody-the-Fox: “Do you do requests?”
Producer: “No.”
*Uncomfortable pause*
Kodythefox: “How ‘bout now?”
Producer: “We don’t do requests here.”
Kody-the-Fox: “…. Ok, then.”

Wufflecomic: ฉันไม่ชอบเครื่องแต่งกายของฉัน ผมต้องทำให้การเปลี่ยนแปลงในนาทีสุดท้ายและเริ่มต้นใหม่
Producer: “Huh?”
Wufflecomic: “I not happy with Fender suit I am making. My first idea is better. I don’t know what to do.”

Kenket: “I can’t believe Wufflecomic is thinking about scrapping his outfit this late in the game. I don’t think it matters whether he scraps it or not. Either way he’s going home. That’s fine because that means more love for me- because I am Blotch!

Furrybob: “I’m not worried about these bitches. I’m confident that the judges will like my creation. I mean- they liked it the last seven times I sent it down the runway. Kenket lucked out, though. Who wouldn’t want that fursuit to work with?”
~

That evening:

*Heidi huddles with producers/surprises the contestants in the workroom*
Heidi Klum: “Gather around, everyone.”
*Contestants gather*
Heidi Klum: “I have a question. Artdecade, how’s your head?”
Artdecade: “… ? … Uh, if you really wanna know….You can ask Tim Gunn.”
*Contestants snicker*
Heidi Klum: “Alright… Wufflecomic, how is YOUR head?
Wufflecomic: “Suckie, suckie fi-dollah!
Heidi Klum: “That’s good to know, but actually the question is for all of you. You have all received head, but can you give it? I see one, two, three… four, five… six under-utilized fur heads. So we are adding a twist to your challenge. You have to incorporate the fur-heads into your design.”
*Contestants groan*
Heidi Klum: “You can make them into accessories, but you must use them in some way- after all, a little head never hurt anyone. See you on the runway.”
~
Show day:

Tim Gunn: “Attention, your models have arrived for their fitting! Afterward send them down to the L’oreal studio for hair and makeup. We have very little time today so use your time judiciously.”

Tim Gunn: “How are we doing? Wufflecomic, you look worried.”
Wufflecomic: “I so very much worry, Tim… that the judges will no like my design. I am wanting to start over.”
Tim Gunn: “I tend to agree that you could be in a little trouble. This is looking a bit… bland. But at this hour do you really believe you can whip something up with a little more… spice?”
Wufflecomic: “I can go quick-chop-chop!”
Tim Gunn: “And you will have to get chopping- go with your instinct.”
Wufflecomic: “Me love you long time, soldier boy.”

Tim Gunn: *sigh* “And here we have Dreamwindow.”
Dreamwindow: “Here we are.”
Tim Gunn: “What a haphazard mélange! I see you decided to keep the hood.”
Dreamwindow: “I’m trying to draw attention away from the ‘danger area’- Dragoneer’s face.”
Tim Gunn: “I’m not sure you succeeded. Dragoneer, how do you feel in this?”
Dragoneer: “Honestly, Tim- I might be better off going out to the runway in a jockstrap.”
Tim Gunn: “Maybe, but you didn’t get Furrybob as your designer. Dreamwindow, one word…EDIT. Carry on.”

Tim Gunn: “Kody-the-Fox, don’t tell me you are done already.”
Kody-the-Fox: “I finished yesterday. I made two more outfits today.”
Tim Gunn: “Yikes! Why?”
Kody-the-Fox: “I could not decide what I wanted.”
Tim Gunn: “I see quantity, but I’m concerned with the quality of the work. Which outfit are you going to send down the runway?’
Kody-the-Fox: “All of them.”
Tim Gunn: “This isn’t Bryant Park. You can only use one.”
Kody-the-Fox: “Oh, then I choose the one with scuba gear.”
Tim Gunn: “That… doesn’t exactly narrow it down… but you certainly do know how to accessorize an outfit. Der, which one of these outfits do you respond to?
Der: “I’m… in… hell.”
Tim Gunn: “I believe you. Both of you work together and narrow it down to one outfit, please.”

Tim Gunn: “Artdecade, this treatment is looking fabulous…” *goes to touch fur*
Artdecade: “Wait!”
Tim Gunn: “Eeew… it’s still sticky… Did you just spray this with ejaculate now?”
Artdecade: “I had to give it a second coat, but I had to wait because it took forever for the first coat to dry.”
Tim Gunn: “You can’t put this on Lav until it dries.”
Artdecade: “Maybe we could...”
Tim Gunn: “No, you can’t. Do you have a blow dryer?”
Artdecade: “Those aren’t the kind of blow-jobs I specialize in, Tim.”
Tim Gunn: “Then you better get on your knees… and pray.”

Tim Gunn: “Speaking of getting on our knees… FurryBob, how are you handling FayV’s head?”
FurryBob: “I made a bustier out of the ears and a fanny pack out of the face.
Tim Gunn: “You really used everything- Are you using this leather strapping to fasten everything together?”
FurryBob: “Yeah, I had some scraps left over from the harness.”
Tim Gunn: “I’m a bit concerned that this is turning into a parody of a FurryBob outfit rather than an actual FurryBob outfit. Just remember, the judges have questioned your taste level in the past. How you style this could make the difference.”
FurryBob: “Thanks, Tim.”

Tim Gunn: “Kenket, are you at all concerned that this silhouette is too simplistic at this point in the competition?”
Kenket: “I am Blotch, you must love me. I am Blotch.”
Tim Gunn: “Um... alright. How did you use KenovaWolf’s head?”
Kenket: “I made a knapsack out of it. Don’t you love it?”
Tim Gunn: “I’ve always loved Kenova’s head… But now that it’s in knapsack form…Hmmm… it’s a clever idea, I’ll say that. *Fondles the knapsack* Does it open up?”
Kenket: “Put your hand in the mouth.”
Tim Gunn: “Oh… hohoho! It’s biting me! I’m having a vore moment here…”
~

Show time:

Tim Gunn: “You have ten minutes before we head down to the runway- and some of you need every one of those minutes. Where is Wufflecomic?”
Artdecade: “In the back room.”
Kenket: “His model went missing. I think they got in another argument about something.”
Tim Gunn: “Good Lord.” *heads to the sewing room* Wufflecomic?”
FurryBob: *whispers* “I don’t think you want to go in there, Tim.”
Dreamwindow: *snickers*

Tim Gunn: “Wufflecomic, where is your model- sniff, sniff…what is that smell?
Wufflecomic: “It is my hot-pot.”
Tim Gunn: “We have ten minutes before the show, and you’re cooking? Where’s your… Sniff, sniff what’s in there?”
Wufflecomic: “Fender.”
Tim Gunn: “You didn’t…”
Wufflecomic: “I go back to first idea. I chop up dog and put in pot for restaurant. Is much better now. You see! Taste!”
Tim Gunn: “This is unconscionable! Project Runway does not condone the wanton killing of innocent furries… I must inform the… are those baby onions?”
Wufflecomic: “Eat! You like soldier boy.”
Tim Gunn: “You don’t really expect me to… Hmm… what’s done is done, isn’t it? And Fender looks well done.”
Wufflecomic: “Is tender meaty back rib.”
Tim Gunn: “Fender meaty back rib? I have to admit, Fender looks delicious… maybe just a taste.” *tastes Fender tidbits.*
“I taste notes of sriracha, curry, celeriac, and just a hint of Febreze.”
Wufflecomic: “Is better now, yes?”
Tim Gunn: “Who knew Fender was so delicious. Is that a yam? Oh, nevermind! We have to get down to the runway and you don’t have a model or an outfit. What are you going to do? Hold a pot-luck dinner on the runway?
Wufflecomic: “You want doggie bag?”
~

Runway show

*Heidi Klum enters runway*
Heidi klum: “Hello, designers.”
Designers: “Hello, Heidi!”
Heidi Klum: “As you know, today is runway day… wait a minute… one, two, three, four- five… Where is Wufflecomic?”
Designers: *nervous giggles*
Kenket: “It’s a surprise, Heidi!”
Heidi Klum: “Alright, I love surprises… For our unconventional challenge, you were introduced to six ‘furry’ guests. Then you were asked to take their fursuits and turn them into couture outfits for our guests to wear.
Let’s introduce our judges: Nina Garcia, editor for Marie Claire.”
Nina Garcia: “Hello.”
Heidi Klum: “Designer Michael Kors.”
Michael Kors: “Hi.”
Heidi Klum: “Finally, we have our guest judge- authority on all things ‘furry’- chrismukkah
*Chrismukkah waves*
Heidi Klum: “The winner of ‘Project Runway’ will receive a mentorship at the Parsons School of Design as well as $100,000 to start their own design line.
Our runway music for today’s challenge is fittingly called: !I AM FURRY! , a remix by the talented Faine.
Let’s start the show.”

*Music plays, models work the runway.*

[Dreamwindow/Dragoneer] Dreamwindow: “I have no idea what the judges are going to think, but I never know how they are going to respond. Even though I’m writing this story, I really have no idea what’s going to happen.”

[Furrybob/FayV] Furrybob: “My outfit is fabulous. I wouldn’t change a thing about it. I can’t imagine doing it any other way-so I never have. And FayV is working that bustier for all it’s worth.”

[Wufflecomic/Fender] *Wufflecomic walks down the runway with a platter of Fender tenders, holds chopsticks- takes a bite.*
*Glares from the judges*

Kenket whispers to the other designers: “He ate his model, they should disqualifiy him.”

Wufflecomic: “Fender is very…um…crisp… taste very good and have good… texture to the meat. I add the… traditional Thai spices for flavor and is good for the digestion.”

[Kody-the-Fox/Der] Kody-the-Fox: “This is my Canadian Character, ‘Der’. Der is from Canada. That is why Der is my Canadian Character. Der is from Ontario. Do you like Der’s scuba gear?”

[Kenket/Kenovawolf] “I stayed true to Kenovawolf’s monochromatic scheme. There’s just a touch of green in the piping as a nod to the fursuits green eyes. I think I have used the existing pattern in the fursuit in a fun, fresh way. The judges should respond positively to my outfit. After all, I am Blotch, and you must love me.”

[Artdecade/Lav] “This outfit says ‘business in the front, party in the back’ kind of like an Homage to the original fursuit. The cum still isn’t fully dry, but I don’t think the judges will catch it.”
~

Show ends, designers on stage

Heidi Klum: “The six of you represent the highest and lowest scores. But before we continue, I must say I was surprised! I haven’t seen a runway show like that before. You served up some serious furry fashion- as well as a fashion-plate… of Fender vittles. Let’s bring out our models. Can someone bring out Fender?”
Heidi Klum: “Under the circumstances, we should start with Wufflecomic, before Fender gets cold. Wufflecomic, did you really kill and dismember one of our guests and serve him up with ginger-lemon sauce?”
Wufflecomic: “Yes, is delicious.”
Nina Garcia: “I don’t doubt that because he looks positively mouth-watering. However, this is not the way we treat our guests.”
Wufflecomic: “Furry is only good for to cook.”
Michael Kors: “He’s got you there, Nina. Personally, I would kill for fashion, so I admire the fact that you went for it and followed your vision.”
Heidi Klum: “I would rip another model’s eyes out over a dress, so I understand where you are coming from.”
Nina Garcia: “She would do it, too.”
Wufflecomic: “You like eye? I have eye here for you, Miss Heidi. Is crispy.”
*Wufflecomic holds one of Fender’s eyes up with chopsticks.*
Heidi Klum: “I never judge on a full stomach, but I might try Fender later. What do you think, Chrismukkah?”
Chrismukkah: “Fender never looked so good.”

Heidi Klum: “Artdecade, You have Lav- and I’m glad to see that your model is still alive. I have a question for our ‘German Sheppy’: Lav, Wie gefällt Ihnen Ihr neues Outfit?“
Lav: “Heidi, ich war mit Sperma von einem Haufen von Bären aufgesprüht. Und es ist nur am Donnerstag.
Heidi Klum: “Usually that doesn’t happen to you until the weekend? Lucky you!”
*Der glares at Lav*
Nina Garcia: “Does that unbutton? Can I see what’s underneath?”
Artdecade: “Um… Yes.” *Artdecade nervously fiddles with the clasp.* “Here you go.”
Michael Kors: “Wait, what’s that on your hands? Did something come off the jacket?”
Nina Garcia: “What is that?”
Artdecade: “I’m sorry- the coating hasn’t dried yet.” *Wipes his hands on his pants.*
Michael Kors: “You mean the cum- let’s just be honest about it. You hosed it down with cum to give it a sheen and it didn’t take.”
Artdecade: “Yes- I underestimated how long it would take to dry on Lav’s fur.”
Chrismukkah: “You should have consulted me. I Know exactly how long it takes for cum to dry on Lav’s fur!”
*Everyone has a good guffah.*

Heidi Klum: “Kody-the-Fox, tell us about Der’s outfit.”
Kody-the-Fox: “Der is my Canadian character because Der is from Canada.”
Nina Garcia: “When a designer presents an outfit, there needs to be a story, a narrative. But despite Der’s scuba gear- your story just doesn’t hold water for me.”
Kody-the-Fox: “Do you do requests?”
Nina Garcia: “I don’t do requests; I make requests. Here’s one: Give us a story that relates to your work.”
Michael Kors: “I really don’t see Canada here, but story aside- I love that you took that lavender color and ran with it- you preserved the joy of the original fursuit.”
Kody-the-Fox: “Do you like Der’s scuba gear?”
Heidi Klum: “Actually I do. I love your color choices. You have a good eye for-
Wufflecomic: “I have eye here for you, Miss Heidi! Is taste very good!
Heidi Klum: “Hush!!”
Chrismukkah: “A little birdie told me that there was a lot of… skirmishing to decide on the final runway look, but it was clearly worth the effort. It’s really sexy on you, Der. You’ll be at the bottom of the furpile in no time.”
*Lav glares at Der*

Heidi Klum: “Kenket, you had first choice of the fursuits. Why KenovaWolf?”
Kenket: “KenovaWolf has a color scheme that harmonized with my aesthetic. I enjoyed working with Kenova. We successfully collaborated on a design that would reinterpret the patterns of his fursuit into an outfit-
Michael Kors: “Stop, stop with the bullshit. You picked it because it was the easiest fabric to work with.”
Kenket: “I thought it was the best fabric to work with, and since I am the best designer, it is only natural that I pick the best fabric.”
Nina Garcia: “There were some… unfortunate color choices to choose from, so I don’t fault you for picking the most simplistic… but this is the unconventional challenge. This is not the time to play it safe. And that is precisely what you did.”
Heidi Klum: "KenovaWolf, how do you like your new look? Kenova... you look like you are in shock."
KenovaWolf: "My fursuit... my beautiful fursuit... is gone."
*FayV whispers to FurryBob: "Someone is getting thrown under the bus."*

Chrismukkah: "um... I actually like the simplicity of your design, Kenket- especially the green piping on the trim. But compared to the other outfits, I thought you could have taken more of a risk. Considering what you started with, this feels like a step down.”
Heidi Klum: “Yeah, it’s a make-under. Since you had immunity, I don’t know… maybe you-
Kenket: “I… I am Blotch! How dare you question my choices! You must love me. I am Blotch.”

Heidi Klum: “Dreamwindow, you had quite a ‘monster’ of a fursuit to work with.”
Dreamwindow: “This process was so… *Dreamwindow starts crying, you know, the ‘ugly cry’*… I gave you everything I had and- I don’t know- I’m left feeling so… bedraggled.”
*FurryBob giggles, Kenket rolls eyes.*
Nina Garcia: “Must we go through this display every time you come before the judges?”
Heidi Klum: “Chrismukkah, what do you think about Dragoneer’s transformation?”
Chrismukkah: “That fursuit was one of the most… labored designs in the fandom, so I feel for you. I mean, whenever you saw Dragoneer coming it was like the executioner was coming to take you away to the gallows. You picked up on that and reinterpreted that by keeping the spikes and adding the hood. Love it.”
Michael Kors: “How damn cute is that hood. I mean- when he turned around, there was the dragon face on the back of his head.”
Heidi Klum: “He kept Dragoneer’s head- on his head. I’m surprised no one else did that with their fur heads”

Heidi Klum: “FurryBob, you had FayV’s fursuit to work with. FayV, what do you think of FurryBob’s reinterpretation of your fursuit?”
FayV: “It’s great… it’s really… great… I love it.” *FayV forces a grimace*
Michael Kors: C’mon, I mean when FurryBob told you: “I’m gonna stick you in a Brady Bunch burnt orange bustier and send you down the runway, how did you feel?”
FayV: “It’s not the sort of thing I would… have designed for myself.”
Michael Kors: “Thank you.”
*FurryBob whispers to FayV: "You threw me under the bus."*

Chrismukkah: “I think the point of design is, you know, getting people to wear things that are out of their comfort zone. Despite all that, this looks good on you, FayV. I mean, you looked confident on the runway even if it’s not your… are those your ears? Good Lord, look where he put them … How did I not catch that? But my issue is- ears aside- I feel like I’ve seen this look before.”
Nina Garcia: “I’ve also seen this look before; the last six times you sent something down the runway.”
FurryBob: “OK, yes… but this is the DEFINITIVE version.”
Nina Garcia: “Oh, you know what you can do with your definitive version, FurryBob?
FurryBob: “I have a pretty good idea.”
Nina Garcia: “You can go f-

Heidi Klum: “AHEM!! It is now time for the judges to deliberate, so the designers and models can go back stage. Wufflecomic, leave Fender with us. I’m getting hungry.”
~

The judges confer:

Heidi Klum: *Fiddles with cards.* “Let’s start with the designers we liked the most- Artdecade”
Nina Garcia: “You know, He has a way of keeping it sexy and tasteful.”
Michael Kors: “I appreciated how it was all beige with just a little hit of lavender as Lav came down the runway and POW! As he turns around this explosion of color moves down the back.”
Heidi Klum: “And that little bit of… sparkle from the ejaculate… it… what am I trying to say?”
Nina Garcia: “It unified the two colors.”
Chrismukkah: “I don’t really know the rules here, but if you are going to spray cum all over an outfit, shouldn’t it at least be dry before it goes down the runway?”
Michael Kors: “It should, it really should- it’s unfortunate.”
Nina Garcia: “Did he send it down the runway thinking he would get away with it?”
Heidi Klum: “Chrismukkah, what if Lav were in a furry parade… would it be acceptable to walk around with wet cum all over his suit?”
Chrismukkah: “Fursuits and cum go together like peanut butter and jelly. There is a different standard in the fandom, but even in a furry parade- you expect cum to be dry. It doesn’t excuse his mistake today.”
Michael Kors: “Mistake aside, the man knows his way around cum.”

Heidi Klum: “Dreamwindow.”
Nina Garcia: “You know, I don’t know how Dreamwindow made it this far in the competition, maybe because he’s writing the story, I don’t know. But our faith is justified today. Hallelujah, an interesting, couture creation.”
Chrismukkah: “You gotta give him credit for picking that fursuit. It was the most intimidating of the bunch.”
Heidi Klum: “But that’s just it. He didn’t pick it. He got stuck with it because everyone else picked something easier.”
Michael Kors: “That’s the fursuit that Kenket SHOULD have picked!”
Nina Garcia: “Amen to that!”
Michael Kors: “Frankly, I am mystified why it was passed over. I realize it’s the equivalent of the eighties white satin wedding dress with the poufy shoulders and the big bows- but why be scared of it? Here was a chance to impress the judges and show what you can really do.”
Chrissmukkah: “And that’s just what he did. Maybe it pays to hold Dreamwindow’s feet to the fire. He managed to take a fursuit that mimicked a gaudy Mardi Gras Parade float that exploded across Bourbon Street… and he made it wearable.
Nina Garcia: “But is it a fluke? Even Madonna had one hit movie.”

Heidi Klum: “Kody-the-Fox.”
Chrismukkah: “Mixing the fur with the neoprene, that was inspired. It was my favorite of the bunch.”
Nina Garcia: “Finally, someone who embraces color!”
Michael Kors: “And there were some pretty garish colors up there- but the only one who ran away from them was Kenket.”
Heidi Klum: “Both Lav and Der have almost identical fursuits, and I find it interesting how Kody and Artdecade… each handled the lavender colors differently.”
Chrismukkah: “He kept the lavender, but he kept it subdued- in the back so it didn’t overwhelm us when the model walked out. It was a lovely omage to the fursuit.”
Nina Garcia: “Kody went in the opposite direction by adding even more color so the lavender almost looked tame by comparison. And both of those approaches were equally pleasing.”
Michael Kors: “And he knows how to accessorize- the perfect fins, the perfect mask, the perfect aqua lung. It all works.”

Heidi Klum: “Now for the designers with the lowest scores- FurryBob.”
Heidi Klum “I have to say, I’m surprised FurryBob had one of the lower scores. I agree that it’s not the best thing he has sent down the runway, but I thought his design was consistent with his previous work.”
Nina Garcia: “That’s because his hemlines are always ‘Heidi high’. But FurryBob’s taste level was dipping a little too low today. Because this is the unconventional challenge- complete with furries and Fender bites- maybe he thought that was OK. But a fanny pack? That’s not couture, that’s campy.
Chrismukkah: “He took one costume and turned it into another costume- But that is FurryBob. It’s theatrics. He could wrap a paper bag in leather, send it down the runway and furries would beg for more. He knows how to sex it up and sell it.”
Michael Kors: “Look, Chrismukkah… I’m in your corner. I’m a FurryBob fan, I just love that queen to pieces, but there were some problems with that outfit. Nevermind that we’ve seen six versions of it-
Heidi klum: “If he makes it to Bryant Park, are we going to see six versions of-
Michael Kors: “Oh, God! If I see six bustiers coming down the runway I’m going to scream!”
Chrismukkah: “The head challenge was his undoing. I think he was going in a certain direction and he didn’t know what to do with the head.”
Nina Garcia: “Do you really think the head was the only problem with that outfit?”
Chrismukkah: “No.”
Nina Garcia: “Thank you.”
Heidi Klum: "Did you see how fast FayV threw FurryBob under the bus?"
Chrismukkah: "I've seen furries turn tail before, but that was quick."
Michael Kors: "She should throw that outfit under the bus instead."

Heidi Klum: “Kenket”
Heidi Klum: “Again, I did not think this was a bad outfit, but… we expected more, no?”
Nina Garcia: “Kenket took a fabulous fursuit and made a nice outfit out of it. Not a fabulous outfit, mind you; A nice outfit. That does not cut it at this point in the competition.”
Michael Kors: “Talk about playing it safe. The backpack was the only interesting thing and that’s only because we forced Kenket to use the head. It was a major fumble.”
Chrismukkah: “It’s a travesty what Kenket did to that fursuit. Do you know how many furries died to make that suit?”
Nina Garcia: “You didn’t express yourself that strongly during the interview.”
Chrismukkah: “It’s Blotch after all. It’s tough to judge someone with such God-like presence.”
Heidi Klum: “No one said this job was easy.”
Michael Kors: “You underestimate your own presence in the furry community”
Chrismukkah: “This isn’t about me, it’s about Blotch… er… Kenket.”
Nina Garcia: “As far as I’m concerned, Kenket is really lucky to have immunity this week.”
Heidi Klum: “Hmmm… you are right. Kenket does have immunity… But maybe we need to shake things up.”

Heidi Klum: “Wufflecomic”
Heidi Klum: “I cannot wait anymore. Pass those chopsticks!”
Chrismukkah: “This smells so friggin’ delicious. Is that dipping sauce?”
*Everybody has a nosh on Fender’s tenders.*
*Heidi holds up a Fender bite with her chopsticks* “What is this? Is this Fender’s penis?”
Chrismukkah: “Yeah, that’s it, alright.”
Heidi Klum: “Do you want it?”
Chrismukkah: “No thanks. I’ve had Fender’s penis before. It’s not as tasty as it looks.”
Michael Kors: “That’s because you never dipped it in ginger-lemon sauce.”
*Ha-HA-ha-haahaa-ha*
Heidi Klum: “Do we all agree on why Wufflecomic has one of the lower scores?”
Chrismukkah: “Sure, he dismembered Fender and fed him to us Jeffrey Dahmer style…*nibble*… is that a chili pepper?”
Michael Kors: “Are you kidding? He didn’t send an outfit down the runway! This is not ‘Project Vore’… What did he expect us to judge?”
Nina Garcia: “He totally missed the point of the challenge- *nibble*…I’ll admit he got the FLAVOR of the challenge- but not the point. He gave us couture cuisine rather than couture fashion.”
Heidi Klum: “I don’t know if it was the language barrier or if Wuffle just didn’t understand the challenge. What did he do with the fursuit?”
Chrismukkah: “I think he understood the challenge. He just didn’t care. Wufflecomic turned his back on the furry community years ago and chopping up Fender is just another expression of contempt for us. And the worst part is furries eat it up and keep coming back for more. It’s a sick relationship.”
Michael Kors: “Don’t hold back, tell us what you really think.”
*Guffahs*
Chrismukkah: “To his credit, he did use the head.”
Nina Garcia: “It was clever to turn it upside down and use it for a crock pot.”
Michael Kors: “That was genius”…*nibble*
Heidi Klum: “We also never had the opportunity to ask the model how he feels about being stir-fried in a wok with snow peas and baby corn.”
Michael Kors: “There’s baby corn? Pass it here!”

Heidi Klum: “Chrismukkah, you are familiar with Fender- how would he feel about being eaten by us?”
Chrismukkah: “You know I have a special place for Fender in my… stomach. I love Fender…especially with chives and garlic. And I am certain that Fender of all furries would appreciate the irony of being eaten by us…because I’m sure he would eat all of us if he could.”
Heidi Klum: “That’s a touching tribute to Fender. But we are still short one repurposed fursuit. Does this take Wuffle out of the competition?”
Nina Garcia: “Despite mistaking the runway for ‘Lucky Cheng’s Restaurant’, Wufflecomic’s presentation was NOT the worst one of the day.”
Michael Kors: “This is the unconventional challenge, and Wuffle’s approach was unconventional. It was really out of the box.”
Chrismukkah: “Yeah, Jack-in-the-Box.”
*Ha-haha-haaha… nibble*
Heidi Klum: “Who deserves to go home?”
Judges: “Uggh.”
~

Thinning the herd: *Designers take their place on the runway.*

Heidi Klum: “In the world of fashion, one day you’re in- the next you’re out! Tonight there are six of you. One of you will be the winner of today’s challenge- and one- or more of you will be eliminated.

Kody-the-Fox, your bold use of color and playful design wowed the judges.
Dreamwindow, you took on the wild dragon… and the judges agree... you tamed it.

*dead silence*

Dreamwindow… you are in. You may leave the runway.”
Dreamwindow: “Huh? What? I didn’t win? That’s it? Just leave the runway?”
FurryBob whispers to Artdecade: “Here it comes.”
Dreamwindow: I wrote this God-damn story and I didn’t win? I didn’t lose? I’m just ‘in’?
Nina Garcia: “Do we really need another diatribe…”
Heidi Klum: “Dreamwindow, to be honest we don’t like you very much and we didn’t even care much for your design-
Back stage, Kenova whispers to FayV: “Thank God, I was going to say- what the hell were they thinking?”
Heidi Klum: “But we thought this was the quickest way to get you out of the story line.”
Dreamwindow: “You, you bitch! How DARE you get my hopes up and then dash them into a million little pieces and then stomp on them while you… Oh, you collude with your little friends on how to get rid of me because how dare I sprinkle a little rain on your sad little parade… who do you think you are? [censored]? Well… let me tell you something missy… I don’t have to take this treatment. I have been treated like trash by way better people than you…you old wrinkled witch! You can take your ‘Heidi Whities’ and stick them up your ass! Now out of my way bitches, I’m leaving the runway, but not because you want me to- it’s because I have better things to do with my time than to be bothered with you.
*Walks off in a huff…halts, turns*
Oh, yeah… here’s a message for Tim Gunn: I was faking it!
*Exits stage.*
*Enters stage.*
Call me!”
*Exits stage.*

Heidi Klum: “Now we can enjoy the rest of the story. Kody-the-Fox… Congratulations, you are the winner of this challenge.”
Kody-the-Fox: “Do you do art trades?”
Heidi Klum: “No, You may leave the stage.”
Kody-the-Fox: “How ‘bout now?”
Heidi Klum: “Get off the stage!”
Kody-the-Fox: “Thank you, Heidi.”
*Leaves stage.*

Heidi Klum: “Artdecade, you could have won this challenge, but the judges thought your outfit felt… quite literally… too ‘tacky’.”
*Snickers from the other designers*
Heidi Klum: “Artdecade, you’re in. You can leave the runway.”
Artdecade: “Thank you all.”
*leaves stage.*

Heidi Klum: “FurryBob… I liked your design… and I liked it the last six times you sent it down the runway. But at this point in the competition the judges need you to step it up. We asked you for couture- and what you gave us was closer to costume.
FurryBob: “But it was my definitive!”
Heidi Klum: “That may be so, but you are definitely… in! You can leave the stage.”
*FurryBob waves at judges, exits stage.*

Heidi Klum: “Kenket… Wufflecomic… one… or more of you will be ‘out’.”
Heidi Klum: “Kenket…

*Dead silence*

You had your choice of six outfits representing different ‘flavors’ of the furry community. Unfortunately, the flavor you picked was… vanilla. You may have turned it into a tasteful outfit- but the judges thought it tasted bland.

Wufflecomic… you are in the opposite situation. You added the exotic Thai spices that the judges craved. But you gave us little else. In fact, you sent your model out on the runway in little more than his own natural juices.”

Heidi Klum: “Designers…The judges have decided that the time has come… for you to…lip-sync for your life!”
Readers: “Noooo.”
Heidi klum: “Yes.”
I hope you two have brushed up on your German, because you will be lip-syncing to:
Scheiße , a remix by LupineAssassin

*Music starts, Kenket and Wufflecomic perform*
Michael Kors: “Work those hips, Wuffle!”
*Kenket writhes around on the floor.*
Nina Garcia: “It’s getting hot and heavy up there!”
Chrismukkah: “Look, Wuffle’s down on his knees- when all else fails, stick with what you know, hon.”
Heidi Klum: “Those two are- how you say- burning down the house?”
Michael Kors: *Fans himself* “Yeah, they’re ablaze alright. That runway is burning up like a southern church.”
*Ha-haha-haaa*
*Music ends, Kenket and Wufflecomic collapse in a heap.*

Heidi Klum: “I have made my decision. Come forward.”
Heidi Klum: “I have two designers standing before me. But I only have one picture in my hand. This picture represents the designer that will go on to compete in ‘Project Runway’. The designer I do not choose must pack up and go home. This could be a picture of Kenova’s outfit, meaning Kenket is the winner. Or it could be a picture of your Fender tenders, Wufflecomic, making you the winner of this challenge. Or it could be a blank picture- meaning both of you must pack your things and go home.”

*Heidi Klum turns over picture.*

Heidi Klum: “the winner of this week’s challenge is…”

Dreamwindow: “Wait! Stop!... I need to interject here. I… I just can’t go on anymore. I feel… that I have been treated so poorly by the bunch of you. Forsaken by my watchers; abandoned by the furry community. I have given so much of myself for you and I ask so, so little in return. I’m just exasperated! I can’t seem to finish the last bit of the story right now. After working myself to the bone… Why don’t you come back later. When I have had some time to recover. I’ll put up another submission with the ending…ok? Thank you for understanding.

*Curls up in fetal position with a bottle of Chianti.*

Read conclusion here: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/17489977/