So in about two months we hit the nine year anniversary of me getting roped into buying a house. 9 years of paying for that house.... 9 years of spending maybe a weekend every few months in that house... Maybe 60-90 days total that I've spent in that house while mom was living a happy retired life on my dime in a house way too big for her to live in alone. But what the hell it was an "investment" for my future right?

So today a light at the end of the tunnel. We're in escrow... conditionally. The buyer's now have a period of time to have some inspections done and if they don't like what they find they can back out of the deal. If they accept the conditions we'll go into the closing phase. So in a little over a month I could have that nightmare of an empty payment out of my life for the first time in Nine. freaking. years.

So where do we go from here? Mom will have to move into the condo that I also have been carrying without living in. This will justify keeping it despite the fact I should've long ago walked away from that property. She'll bitch about it and complain because that's what she does, but this is just how it's going to be. She'll also be further away and wont have a reason to drop by unexpectedly and stay the night because she doesn't feel like "driving all the way up to the house" after her medical visits down south.

This almost feels like the precipice of freedom...

I could actually have her stop butting into my life for the most part (unlikely though because she just doesn't stop) and I could actually even be debt free as what I would clear from this deal could pay off the condo outright. So yeah, get out of jail free. It's a rare thing to get a chance to start over, and that's what this could be...

On the flip side of that I could turn it back around into a place where I can live that -isn't- a rented apartment. I've been living on the cheap in questionable apartments for years to pay for that damn house, selling off toys and giving up hobbies while that debt loomed over my head. While I've not been homeless, where I sleep has never felt like home all the same. For the first time I could actually pick a place and have it on my own terms (provided once again mom stays out of it). Lots of big decisions either way. Most of all I wonder if I'll finally be able to sleep a normal night of sleep without the nightmares of failure looming over me the first time I'm not living check to check.

I really don't know where to go from here... it's new territory thinking I might have a life of my own for once.

The timing works out nicely as shifting my diet to a more positive model and working out since the start of the year has me down to 220lbs now. That's 15 under the weight I carried all through high school some 20 years after... which is a pretty big shift. I intend to keep going with that as I'd like to get under 200 by the time MFF rolls around and play some hockey without looking like I'm gonna have a heart attack. ;)

Oh yeah, BLFC in a few days too. See some of you there. :)