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Parents, am I right?
11 years ago
General
I have realized for quite some time now, parents have a hard time empathizing with their kids. On. Kinda everything. Now there are those parents who do, I think Ryn's mom is like that and goddamn is she ever a needle in a hay stack, but then there's my parents... and then on a worse degree, Itchy's parents.
In Ryn's case, she spoke to her mother about how she might have a blood clot. What did her mom do?
Took that into consideration, and took her time to ease Ryn's worries. Explained they don't have a history, and how she's young, but DESPITE THAT, she recognized her daughter was in distress, and helped her ease her worries. We'll get you into a doctor, etcetc, see what's up. Better safe than sorry!
Good mom, I love that woman. Wish I wasn't so shy or I'd talk to her.
In my case, I came to mom proposing the idea that I might(lol might) have anxiety. I explained all the reasons why, because my parents are the kinda parents where you need to speak professionally, have all the information, and address shit in a mater of fact educational way.
Mom's response? 'Oh I have that too, I get nervous when the exit I usually take is blocked off so I have to find another! The issue with you is you let every little thing bother you and you talk yourself into all this stress.'
Th...that's exactly the issue I'm talking about. Except I don't let this happen, I completely realize that this is irrational and I need help dealing with it.
'Oh well you just need to stop worrying! There is nothing to worry about.'
No, you don't get it. I REALIZE that but I can't sto-
'Just don't worry about it :)'
NO I NEED HELP DEALING WITH THIS AND I AM COMING TO YOU FOR PARENTAL ADV--
'My advice is just stop worrying :)'
...0k mom. *Proceeds to have anxiety over the fact I'm worrying over nothing, which causes me to worry because I can't stop worrying over worrying-- vicious cycle*
Then Itchy.
Mom, you're a doctor and you have literally taken classes on how the brain works and shit because this is actual classes you are legit supposed to take. Also I've gotten other doctor's who have pointed out what I have and I take medication to help.
'*SCREAMS AND BITCHES AND YELLS AND THROWS THINGS AND LASHES OUT AT*'
Okay cool well that's literally doing nothing to help and you're honest to god probably the reason why there's so much stuff going wr--
'*THREATENS, unthreatens, THREATENS, unthreatens, THREATENS, guilts manipulates, abuses-- acts like an angel in front of the rest of the world :)*'
Nice talk.
AND THE PARENTS JUST GET WORSE FROM THERE. Parents who kick their kids out exactly when they turn 18. Parents who demand their kids pay rent before they're even 18. Parents who... *Handmotions* are supposed to protect us from the world, but are the evil of the world we should never see.
I'm just so confused?
Parents are supposed to be our safety blanket, our protectors, our teachers, but it seems as if parents who are actually parents are of myth and legends.
I am sorry to all of you who have parents who are not what they should be :< And I want you to know, even if we don't talk on a regular basis, or talk at all, I love you v^v
In Ryn's case, she spoke to her mother about how she might have a blood clot. What did her mom do?
Took that into consideration, and took her time to ease Ryn's worries. Explained they don't have a history, and how she's young, but DESPITE THAT, she recognized her daughter was in distress, and helped her ease her worries. We'll get you into a doctor, etcetc, see what's up. Better safe than sorry!
Good mom, I love that woman. Wish I wasn't so shy or I'd talk to her.
In my case, I came to mom proposing the idea that I might(lol might) have anxiety. I explained all the reasons why, because my parents are the kinda parents where you need to speak professionally, have all the information, and address shit in a mater of fact educational way.
Mom's response? 'Oh I have that too, I get nervous when the exit I usually take is blocked off so I have to find another! The issue with you is you let every little thing bother you and you talk yourself into all this stress.'
Th...that's exactly the issue I'm talking about. Except I don't let this happen, I completely realize that this is irrational and I need help dealing with it.
'Oh well you just need to stop worrying! There is nothing to worry about.'
No, you don't get it. I REALIZE that but I can't sto-
'Just don't worry about it :)'
NO I NEED HELP DEALING WITH THIS AND I AM COMING TO YOU FOR PARENTAL ADV--
'My advice is just stop worrying :)'
...0k mom. *Proceeds to have anxiety over the fact I'm worrying over nothing, which causes me to worry because I can't stop worrying over worrying-- vicious cycle*
Then Itchy.
Mom, you're a doctor and you have literally taken classes on how the brain works and shit because this is actual classes you are legit supposed to take. Also I've gotten other doctor's who have pointed out what I have and I take medication to help.
'*SCREAMS AND BITCHES AND YELLS AND THROWS THINGS AND LASHES OUT AT*'
Okay cool well that's literally doing nothing to help and you're honest to god probably the reason why there's so much stuff going wr--
'*THREATENS, unthreatens, THREATENS, unthreatens, THREATENS, guilts manipulates, abuses-- acts like an angel in front of the rest of the world :)*'
Nice talk.
AND THE PARENTS JUST GET WORSE FROM THERE. Parents who kick their kids out exactly when they turn 18. Parents who demand their kids pay rent before they're even 18. Parents who... *Handmotions* are supposed to protect us from the world, but are the evil of the world we should never see.
I'm just so confused?
Parents are supposed to be our safety blanket, our protectors, our teachers, but it seems as if parents who are actually parents are of myth and legends.
I am sorry to all of you who have parents who are not what they should be :< And I want you to know, even if we don't talk on a regular basis, or talk at all, I love you v^v
I just want people to be coddled darnit!!
I KNOW THIS FEELING??
this feeling of like, how come some parents get it so right and others get it so wrong?
I have one parent who is a flawless perfect cinnamon roll too good for this world
she is so precious to me and is always there for me, even when she has her own problems
and one who is this demon asshole father who (among many many other things) physically harms himself in front of me or threatens to do so when he just doesn't want to talk to me about something
your mum sounds like she's in that classic parent denial that her kid could ever have 'something wrong with them'
idk why this happens I guess parents take it so personally? like they make it about them and it being an insult to their parenting rather than just accepting that mental health problems can happen to anyone at all..
Are you and your mom okay '^';;;? I'm all like YO GATTA GET YOU AWAY FROM THAT.
That sounds about right tho. NO I MADE YOU therefore you must be perfect and any imperfections will promptly go ignored because anything linked to bad parenting is wrong because I'm never wrong >:V V:< >:V V:<
thankfully he left us. I say thankfully, but it's kind of a double edged sword because mum still really cared about him and it hurt her to be cast aside by him like that ;; but we are all better for him moving out
YEAH MAN WHAT IS WITH THAT???
parents are weird
I hope you're ok and um?? uh I guess also that you know that you're totally allowed to deviate from those sort of opinions.
you know your mind and body best, so if you think there's something wrong, you should definitely seek all the help you need ;v;
I can't imagine the pain your mom is going through :C I know it sucks to let toxic friends go because hey there was always a time when shit WASN'T bad that caused that connection, so those memories leave painful nostalgia. Can't imagine it for a loved one tho vmv
I'M OKAY THO, it was just a down moment that caused the ranty journal. I'm in tip top shape >:0! But thank you though ;w;(\
yeah it's pretty similar ;; she'd planned her whole future around being with him - and this came after 20+ years of marriage so it was a real suckerpunch to the face o|-<
BUT NO LIKE everyone can see she's better off without him? hopefully she'll realise this too ;;
pats u I'm glad you're feeling better about it!!!
My brother is always the one my parents look to fuss over since he was diagnosed with ADD.
I have Anxiety something bad, and it was my boyfriend who first told me to get checked out. NAturally I asked my mum
My mum's response? "no. you're just being stupid." Whilst she was away I did have myself checked out and my psychologist even wondered how I hadn't come sooner. I said "my mum scares the shit out of me and I worried about coming" Which is totally ironic.
I can't really talk to my parents about anything, without them either, not giving a fuck, or being totally cynical about it.
Sucks :c But at least you know, when you struggle, you're not alone :) We can all struggle together in a flurry of struggleness. xD
Luckily my boyfriends mum gets me, we both grew up in environments where our parents didn't understand us nor tried to.
Its hard not to freak out about everything. I literally freak about the tiniest of things and it REALLY affects my day, where people constantly say "oh its nothing. you'll get over it" and you want to be like "BUT IT IS SOMETHING, AND I WANT HELP TO GET OVER IT!"
Sometimes~ Just gotta find those people who can help you get over things :) or at least deal with them in a better environment, with people who will listen :)
Its also a great way to teach yourself "If my children ever have to deal with these problems, at least i'll be able to empathize and understand them :)"
I know its not much, But if you're ever in need of an available here, i'm always drifting about :) Even though i'm but a stranger xD
At least we will be able to understand eachother c:~
I think it's because ADD is thrown around so easily that parents are much more accepting of thaaatttt, while anxiety is always brushed off as 'oh im nervous' or, 'golly that loud noise startled me' or, 'gosh it's raining and im worried about my outdoor patio furniture is going to get wet' and it's like NO IT'S MUCH BIGGER
Like I tried to explain to my mom with this, 'I am driving down the road and I need to take a left. I KNOW I need to take a left. I GET into the left hand lane. I TURN THE CAR LEFT....... but what if I'm going right? I KNOW I'm turning left, but WHAT IF I am actually going right.'
Or, 'I look both ways to see if a car is coming, I see no car, I walk forward. BUT WHAT IF THERE IS A CAR? There legit is no car, BUT WHAT IF I DIDN'T SEE IT? WHAT IF ITS AN INVISIBLE CAR?'
Which leads to, 'you're just overworrying' and im like YES I AM *THAT* IS THE ISSUE I need it to stop 'well just stop' :U... that... that is the-- I need help. This is what I'm trying to tell you. I realize something is wrong, I realize, I KNOW it is IRRATIONAL and 'just stopping' is not something I can 'just do'.
It's gotten to the point where I HATE hearing, 'dont worry about it/calm down/its no big deal' because I hear it so much that I'm just like *I KNOW*, I know, I know, I think y'all forget that I KNOW, but I CAN'T.
GUUHHHHH it's good to know so many understand, but it's also sad because I don't want people to understand because they go through it? I want everyone to be okayyyyy. vmv
And I'm good for now haha. It's just like moments of up and down, and sometimes it gets down enough where I'll make a journal or flop all over Ryn/Itchy about it. Usually I try to cover it up though because I gatta play PR and don't really wanna boggle people down with a secretary that can't keep it together lol.
Thank you tho ;v; //smecksmecksmeck
*sits down next to you and sighs*
Which... leads me to wince, because while I don't know exactly what you're going through, military + religion mixed with close mindedness makes me tense in all kinds of uncomfortable ways. I'm so sorry baby QAQ
While my mom, eeehh... came from a full blooded Italian family (Sans her mom), and she took the whole 'men > women' mindset away from that. (She's being trying to shake it but she's not succeeding)
When you say parents that are too free, do you mean parents that are really hands off? That one really worries me too. I hear of kids who purposefully mess up just for some attention and just never really get much. Negative attention > No attention at all, which is so sad but guh.
I hope your mom is feeling better tho :C? She still hitting the bottle or?
And yeah! I guess I might be a little old fashion in thinking spanking should be okay(NOT BEATING IB), but I have noticed kids are starting to wise up to that as well? Like 'oh hey if you hit me/ground me/don't give me that toy, I'll run into the door knob and tell my teachers you hit me.'
I've seen kids like that a few times and fuck man, that's... disgusting and scary :/
I'd write a little thingy like I see everyone else doing but I don't even know where to start.
Bleh ;; I'm so sorry Craig... I don't suppose they see the error of their ways yet? (Hahaha AAHAHAaah hahah... hah ;^;)
My mom got OFFENDED when I tried to tell her lmfao, then went on a guilting rant.
Anyway yeah it's like, extremely sad but its very VERY common.
Our generation of parents just... I don't know.
Somethings up with it.
I'm hoping this generation will be better? But then again... looking at Tumblr...... Eeeeehhhhhhhhh............
Because of Tumblr.
So I pretty much vowed I'd never be that way with my son.
Nope. Fuck that.
I can only imagine what you've been through, and I hope it's all better now, or is getting there QnQ //Coils around and kissus
Getting away from her was the best decision I ever made. *flops*