What I REALLY want to try & do is get more "design" based work under my belt before Memphis. Illustration gigs would be nice however. I am seriously low on logo design, print layouts, all the stuff I trained for 4 years+ I honestly feel like I wasted a Degree some days, plus having a diverse portfolio is always better than being yet another dude that does fan art.

The thing I miss the most about design jobs? Solving problems. Design is about making something work, not just looking nice. No other job had me thinking or using my brain as much, & the fear I may have lost that part of my brain over time kills me.

While me & itsajahli are hard at work GENERATING cash for me to move to Memphis, Im still considering spending more to update my portfolio. For example, Im currently subscribed to the latest Indesign so I can self teach/work on print based projects. I may pick up a few others like Illustrator, Flash etc. Thing is, I have NOTHING to do. I have no Brief. I have ALWAYS done better when working with or for others. While lunarblazecrew is still a thing Im leading, sad truth is its way easier to be told what to do than figuring it out yourself so the idea of me spending even MORE money thats going to be hard to replace when Im looking for a job in a new country is scary as fuck.

Not as scary as me trying to get a job with the degree I have & skills that are as woefully out of date as mine. Im 31 years old, when I move thats pretty much going to wipe out everything I have & give me a blank slate. I NEED to get my shit together. So yeah, Im worried, but mainly I just want to be able to get my life & my career back on track. But flying solo I just see the blank canvas, that white island, the void before creation, & I have no idea where to begin. Which is sad as fuck for a 31 year old "professional" to admit. *shrug* Apologies for the spam, just needed to share. Im not being negative, just trying to organise myself & get a bead on fixing my career.