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Oh lovely
16 years ago
I haven't even been home an hour, and I'm already wishing I'd stayed in Atlanta... I'm realizing more and more that I really hate being here and that Dad and I are going to drive each other up the wall... I don't honestly know if things would get worse or better if I left, but they're sure not getting better while I'm here... I had so many people telling me this weekend that I should move to Atlanta, and every time I heard it, I wanted to do it even more. I love the area, and have at least a handful of friends that I know I can count on to keep me sane while I find myself...
But I lack the courage and ambition and resources to just get up and do it, and I find myself feeling rather helpless. I know the only person who can do anything about this is me, and I just have to put my foot down and take action, even if it means putting my foot straight down into a cow pie... Coz once I start, there's gonna be a whole lot of bullshit flying around between me and pretty much the rest of my family.
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Being single again has been an interesting experience thus far... Iunno, I miss the solidarity of being in a relationship with someone, but at the same time, I guess it's cool that I can kind of do my own thing (like hopefully going to get my nipples pierced at some point) without worrying about how my boyfriend or girlfriend at the time is going to react. I'm not saying I feel like my last relationship limited me in any way, or that I bear any ill feelings, aside from wishing we talked more... Truth is, I don't know WHAT I'm saying... I'm kind of in a daze as a person right now, and feel a little lost, but I'm willing to muddle through till I find my way out.
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I find myself looking at my current priorities in life, and wondering if it's time to rearrange them a bit... I think I'm finally ready to look into schools again and try completing my college education, but I still don't really know what I want to study, what I want to major in... I feel a bit like I'm pulling out onto a busy freeway without the slightest clue as to where I'm going. I find myself constantly wishing I'd taken art classes in high school, when I'd had the chance, because our local community college's art classes are atrocious from what I've been told. Meh, Iunno.
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One thing I know for sure... I'm glad I've got a Master like Myrilla and friends like Tini and the AX crew to keep me sane and (somewhat) healthy while I try and sort myself out... this could take a while. :x
But I lack the courage and ambition and resources to just get up and do it, and I find myself feeling rather helpless. I know the only person who can do anything about this is me, and I just have to put my foot down and take action, even if it means putting my foot straight down into a cow pie... Coz once I start, there's gonna be a whole lot of bullshit flying around between me and pretty much the rest of my family.
---
Being single again has been an interesting experience thus far... Iunno, I miss the solidarity of being in a relationship with someone, but at the same time, I guess it's cool that I can kind of do my own thing (like hopefully going to get my nipples pierced at some point) without worrying about how my boyfriend or girlfriend at the time is going to react. I'm not saying I feel like my last relationship limited me in any way, or that I bear any ill feelings, aside from wishing we talked more... Truth is, I don't know WHAT I'm saying... I'm kind of in a daze as a person right now, and feel a little lost, but I'm willing to muddle through till I find my way out.
---
I find myself looking at my current priorities in life, and wondering if it's time to rearrange them a bit... I think I'm finally ready to look into schools again and try completing my college education, but I still don't really know what I want to study, what I want to major in... I feel a bit like I'm pulling out onto a busy freeway without the slightest clue as to where I'm going. I find myself constantly wishing I'd taken art classes in high school, when I'd had the chance, because our local community college's art classes are atrocious from what I've been told. Meh, Iunno.
---
One thing I know for sure... I'm glad I've got a Master like Myrilla and friends like Tini and the AX crew to keep me sane and (somewhat) healthy while I try and sort myself out... this could take a while. :x
I also hope that you would contact me on AIM from time to time if you feel lonely...