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My Spiritual Progress
10 years ago
Glimpse The Thoughts of Jack the Beaver
Warning:This journal focuses on a frilled lizards spiritual progress and Roman Catholicism in particular. If this bothers you, the author invites you to build a bridge and get over it.
Approximately ten months ago I came to the realization I would be converting to Roman Catholicism because it was logical and gave me a degree of calm in my life. In the intervening time this decision has not changed. If anything it has gotten stronger, especially after some reflection last night.
Since late September I have said the Rosary daily. This has not always been easy as I have to do so in private, lest my family be offended by Catholicism under their roof. The problem is I've been having trouble focusing on it when I do pray. In part because I have no privacy and in part because the little voice whispers in my ear I can be having more fun right now.
Well as I recited the Rosary last afternoon, two things came upon me. First is the kind of distractions that are the most dangerous, at least to me. That voice in my ear is it, the things I love...are dangerous at times in my spiritual journey. Let me start by going to something from my past.
I was raised in the Southern Baptist tradition. This means that I was told alcohol, sex, drugs and all the other dangerous things could derail your spiritual progress. By comparison we didn't spend much time on fun things because all things fun are related to the Southern Baptist church right! Well no and despite this fact being kind of obvious it passed me by until yesterday.
The most dangerous distractions for me are the pleasurable ones when I focus on them and not how the come from God. When I stop appreciating beauty as a reflection of God and just see it as a means to its own end. Instead of thinking to myself when doing the Rosary "I could be doing something more fun" I thought "I get to do this. Get to. How do I stay focused?"
Well this leads to a second thing I focused on, in my case the Marian aspects of the Rosary. Marian devotion is not something as a Southern Baptist I did. Like ever. Because for us if it wasn't God we can just ignore it, even things that come from God (don't ask how that works I barely know).
Well while I was praying and focusing on this, I finally began to understand something from Marian devotion. How can this help me in my growth with God? Answer, while focusing on praying I realized Marian devotion is helping me clear my mind. Even if only briefly I'm able to get all distractions out of my mind.
So to this I thank God for being patient with me, for giving me devotions that can help me clear my mind and a way to grow with Him. I thank God for providing his blessed Mother for us. I thank Salvestro for bring me to Catholicism. and I thank everyone who helps me.
Approximately ten months ago I came to the realization I would be converting to Roman Catholicism because it was logical and gave me a degree of calm in my life. In the intervening time this decision has not changed. If anything it has gotten stronger, especially after some reflection last night.
Since late September I have said the Rosary daily. This has not always been easy as I have to do so in private, lest my family be offended by Catholicism under their roof. The problem is I've been having trouble focusing on it when I do pray. In part because I have no privacy and in part because the little voice whispers in my ear I can be having more fun right now.
Well as I recited the Rosary last afternoon, two things came upon me. First is the kind of distractions that are the most dangerous, at least to me. That voice in my ear is it, the things I love...are dangerous at times in my spiritual journey. Let me start by going to something from my past.
I was raised in the Southern Baptist tradition. This means that I was told alcohol, sex, drugs and all the other dangerous things could derail your spiritual progress. By comparison we didn't spend much time on fun things because all things fun are related to the Southern Baptist church right! Well no and despite this fact being kind of obvious it passed me by until yesterday.
The most dangerous distractions for me are the pleasurable ones when I focus on them and not how the come from God. When I stop appreciating beauty as a reflection of God and just see it as a means to its own end. Instead of thinking to myself when doing the Rosary "I could be doing something more fun" I thought "I get to do this. Get to. How do I stay focused?"
Well this leads to a second thing I focused on, in my case the Marian aspects of the Rosary. Marian devotion is not something as a Southern Baptist I did. Like ever. Because for us if it wasn't God we can just ignore it, even things that come from God (don't ask how that works I barely know).
Well while I was praying and focusing on this, I finally began to understand something from Marian devotion. How can this help me in my growth with God? Answer, while focusing on praying I realized Marian devotion is helping me clear my mind. Even if only briefly I'm able to get all distractions out of my mind.
So to this I thank God for being patient with me, for giving me devotions that can help me clear my mind and a way to grow with Him. I thank God for providing his blessed Mother for us. I thank Salvestro for bring me to Catholicism. and I thank everyone who helps me.
I'm so happy that you're always continuing to grow in your faith and in your devotion to Mary.
Don't be too hard on your Southern Baptist environment though. They mean well. Perhaps someday you'll find a way to help them. Perhaps that's why God made you start out that way.
The graces that we receive from our prayer and especially the Rosary, differ at different points in our lives. I know that when I finally began to pray a daily Rosary my slavery to a particular sin was broken and I no longer felt the compulsion and raw need to commit that sin anymore. You are receiving a different grace, but one that will also lead you away from sin and toward Christ.
I will gladly stand beside you that we might help each other in our journey through exile.
Dominus tecum
I'll be delighted to do so of course! Thank you, Brother Bull!
Dominus tecum
Dominus tecum