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Life update and a request for opinions
10 years ago
So yeah, don't you guys sometimes feel that the best you do is not good enough and as soon as something actually goes wrong you are deemed to be a horrible human being?
The thing that is is that half a year ago I got an employment at my current workplace after a half year long internship. This whole year I have been forced to hear the same things over and over again, "Everything that you do and the way you work is just perfect and we have no complaints with it...BUUUUT...you have quite a few sickdays every now and then."
So let me explaing a little to why this is a problem to hear. Ever since I was a kid, I've had problems with my psychological health, these problems got worse about 4 years ago and since then I've gone through periods of moderate to deep depressions where I've felt everything from "Meh, nothing is good so why care..." all the way to "I have nothing to live for, I should just end it all".
My employer knew all of this when I got hired and my doctor was asked to officially define about the risks with me and what they can expect can happen sometimes, that being that I will have more sickdays then the average person. What else with this is that my work supervisor constantly preach about how I have to take responsibilities for my work and how, I quote, "You should seriously consider if this is a job you can handle".
And all this stress and preassure that the put on me is just getting too much when I constantly feel that no matter what I do I don't get the respect that I deserve and is looked down on because I have my problems. So what I'm trying to get to here is that my job is not going to be my job for much longer now as I'm going to quit as soon as I'm reasured that my economy can handle me quiting to find a new one.
So at this point I really feel that I'm pretty much worthless for anyone to hire me, but the pain I get from staying is not worth it as it's pretty much ruining everything else in my life.
There! Enough ranting and self pittying!
So to get to the other point with this journal. I want to ask you guys for some opinions about my sona Saviena. I'm starting to feel that I have a need for some change in her design and wanted to ask what others think is good/bad about her design and also thought on what I could change or add to make her better.
So if you have some thoughts about it, pleaase do share them with me~
The thing that is is that half a year ago I got an employment at my current workplace after a half year long internship. This whole year I have been forced to hear the same things over and over again, "Everything that you do and the way you work is just perfect and we have no complaints with it...BUUUUT...you have quite a few sickdays every now and then."
So let me explaing a little to why this is a problem to hear. Ever since I was a kid, I've had problems with my psychological health, these problems got worse about 4 years ago and since then I've gone through periods of moderate to deep depressions where I've felt everything from "Meh, nothing is good so why care..." all the way to "I have nothing to live for, I should just end it all".
My employer knew all of this when I got hired and my doctor was asked to officially define about the risks with me and what they can expect can happen sometimes, that being that I will have more sickdays then the average person. What else with this is that my work supervisor constantly preach about how I have to take responsibilities for my work and how, I quote, "You should seriously consider if this is a job you can handle".
And all this stress and preassure that the put on me is just getting too much when I constantly feel that no matter what I do I don't get the respect that I deserve and is looked down on because I have my problems. So what I'm trying to get to here is that my job is not going to be my job for much longer now as I'm going to quit as soon as I'm reasured that my economy can handle me quiting to find a new one.
So at this point I really feel that I'm pretty much worthless for anyone to hire me, but the pain I get from staying is not worth it as it's pretty much ruining everything else in my life.
There! Enough ranting and self pittying!
So to get to the other point with this journal. I want to ask you guys for some opinions about my sona Saviena. I'm starting to feel that I have a need for some change in her design and wanted to ask what others think is good/bad about her design and also thought on what I could change or add to make her better.
So if you have some thoughts about it, pleaase do share them with me~
