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10 years ago
You shouldn't be afraid of friends. You shouldn't be afraid to say anything to them, to tell them how you feel without a lashing out in return. If the response is always defensive and cold, after explaining how you feel, then is it really worth it? Is the friendship based on fear? Fear of being alone? Is the fear used against you?
It might hurt for a bit to end it, but was it really a good friendship from the beginning?
I'm a bit late understanding this but I guess when you're young and stupid at the time...
It might hurt for a bit to end it, but was it really a good friendship from the beginning?
I'm a bit late understanding this but I guess when you're young and stupid at the time...
The truth is though there are only so many people you can be 100% yourself with. There was a study done once that said human beings are only able to handle so many connections at once. The number is about 150-it's called the Dunbar number (named after the fellow who did the study). Of those 150 people most adults will only have two or three close friends they'll become intimate with (either emotionally or physically or both).
All that being said you are right about there being no need to lash out in return.
I mostly said the above btw in hopes of helping you not feel as bad about relationships that don't pan out. If you have one or two really close friends who you can rely on it's a sign that you're doing more right than wrong.
Last night a friendship of 15 years was ended, mostly because I pointed out that I seemed to be the only one interested in keeping it going. It ended up just being me emailing, where it used to be a lot more both ways years ago. This really pissed him off to hear about that, and within one email, a nice cold email, with no attempt to understand or repair I was wished 'good luck in my life'. On reflection, if someone is so easily swayed to end a friendship I suspect they weren't all that serious about it to begin with either; and really did prove my observation of me being the only one making the effort.
- suffice to say, the friendships wherein I can't be a friend cause-of for who/m I am, aren't friendships worth my effort and time;
[since] LIFE shouldn't be an act, a play, or theater, right?
... You can't be anyone else, except who you are; --- so it's best to be true to yourself, and let other like you, for what you are, rather then aren't~
We be among our peers and perverts alike, truly so, my foxxxy friend; hence we'd be none of 'fraid to be fully of shown-'selves~
I know I for certain, be as I am, whenever be within conversing chats with you, Andrew; (and I'mma be) just as kinky 'n' coy in-real-life too~