My morning stomach ache was nothing compared to the pain I've been fighting since I opened my garage to leave for work. Stop now if you don't want to read about a suffering animal.



There are feral cats in my neighborhood. Victims/progeny of cats left behind/abandoned during the housing market crash. The sweet elderly couple that live next door feed these cats. I even rescued one - an abandoned little 3-day old kitten. But I cannot save them all. Anyway, last night I saw a new little kitten; had to have been no more than a month old... It looked sickly, but all I could do was put out some water for it.

This morning, upon opening my garage door, I saw the poor thing lying on the road, close to the curb (like it was laying beside the tire of the car that was parked there overnight). I figured it was dead... So I grabbed some paper towels and picked it up. It moved it's front legs very slowly and weakly (eyes shut/gunked over). Then I noticed its shallow gasps for air. Ants were already crawling on it... I knew it would die soon. From what, I don't know... But now I cannot get the images out of my head. Those gasps replaying in my head constantly. I didn't know what to do, so I placed it somewhere out of the way. I only hope that it passed on shortly afte I left. I couldn't bring myself to end its suffering...

I am not an emotional person (I'm rather stoic). Death does not bother or upset me. But seeing innocent animals suffer... That gets to me. Cats especially. I've been kind of a miserable wreck all morning. I can't wait for this day to be over now...

I just don't know what to do. There isn't much I can do. I just want to curl into a ball and hide under my bedsheets. But I'm stuck at work for another 5 hours. Ugh.

I'll probably delete this journal later. I just... Needed to vent this, I guess.