After a long bout of trying to coax me out of my house to go hang out with a couple of friends, they sit me down and tell me to tell them what's wrong. I feel pressured instantly and I avoid telling them what's wrong because in all reality, I don't know what's wrong. So after a while they give up and our night goes on. They drag me places I didn't want to go and I stupidly complained. And each time I complained, they asked me why I even came which I didn't answer because who has the energy to argue when you're so depressed you physically hurt? Eventually my negativity crossed the line and one of them told me to just go home and kill myself (they had told me this several times throughout the night, but this was the first time it really struck a nerve in me). I got my shit and went to my car and drove home with a blank stare and feeling nothing. I got home safely somehow and sat there in my car, in the darkness, for an hour. Just trembling and shaking, afraid of getting up and using a permanent solution to what I'm told is a temporary problem. After contemplating a lot of different options I got up and went inside to fall on my bed and pass out before I even hit the sheets. Anyway, I need new friends because I've given up trying to fix my sadness. Anyone want a short lived friendship?